Boyfriend made a joke about swapping partners with a new friend of mine. Is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I talked to my boyfriend of 1 month about meeting with a new friend and her boyfriend to go climbing next week. I suggested that he come too so I won't be the third wheel. He agreed and then said he could try taking away the bfs attention so that I can have girl on girl quality time with the new friend. And then he said "or maybe we can swap partners, kinda like swinging." It completely caught me off guard that he would even think about something like that. Am I in the wrong for being upset?

[ArrowheadSW]

It sounds like he was testing the waters to see how you would respond. He might have truly been joking but this sounds to me like he was putting it out there to see what you would say. If you think there is a future with him, you might want to seriously question him about this to see how serious this was.

[Asker]

I agree.. He did tell me he was joking and would never seriously participate in the swinging lifestyle, but I'm still pretty suspicious

[ArrowheadSW]

It could be that he WAS joking, but perhaps in the back of his mind he is playing with the idea or curious about the lifestyle. I really don't think that lifestyle would be for me. There are so many issues with it regarding jealousy, disease, etc. I don't think I'd be comfortable with it at all.

[Bfly004]

To me thats straight out disrespectful. I would be upset. On the other hand some people have dry humor and to him it cldve been simply a joke but the next step for you would be to do what your gut feels. Take this "joke" and put a stop to it or test your relationship but remember years from now it was your decision to continue no matter what happens

[Daniela1982]

Wow! I guess there are things about your boyfriend that you had no clue of. Unless you are interested in swinging with other couples, you need to nip this behavior in the bud and set him straight. Red flag? You're trolling, aren't you? 🤔

[Asker]

He said he was joking afterwards and that he would never seriously participate in the swinging lifestyle.. but I still think it's weird/oddly hurtful that he joked about it.

[Nikki1989]

It would be a red flag for most people.

[WhitneySnow]

That would upset me too

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope