Is this a red flag if my boyfriend's best friend is a female?

[Anonymous]

My bf's best friend is a girl that he knows since high school (they were very close b4, but now they've remained good friends - they go to each other for advice and she asks him for favors).

He is also very close with me (always affectionate with me -even in front of ppl, met each others families, and he's pretty open, plus he's a friendly, affectionate type of a guy, and were both the same kind).

He has told me that he has never slept with her and that she's a platonic friend and that he knows her for a very long time and they talk a lot, plus she knows that him and I are an item and I've met her once. But I've also noticed that they fight a lot and she's demanding to him).

is this a red flag? or am I worrying too much about her?

Worrying too much/ jealous (if he had something to hide he wouldn't tell me)

Red flag

Updates

+1 y

p.s - he has seen her t*ts and he was open and told me all this

Updates

+1 y

he has also said that he would never date a female friend of his for the sake of not ruining a friendship

[jdavid]

I too have a friend that I have known sense Highschool.

In high school she was dating the man that she has now been married to for 13 years.

He is about 4 years older than she and I are, so when it was time for her prom he didn't want to go because he felt out of place becuase of his age. She asked him if it would be cool if she asked me to take her to prom. He was totally cool with it, so I did.

I have known her and her whole family for about 20 years now and she knows mine too.

We never dated, never kissed, never had any type of sexual realation what so ever...

She has been there for me through thick and thin, as I have been for her too.

When people see us hanging out with each other they swear we are f..k buddies and all and have even accused her of cheating on her hudsband with me... So far from the truth...

Yes, at times we argue with one another, and sometimes we really argue to the point we want to kick each others asses... once in a while she gets a little demanding of me, and so do I of her... all friends at times get a little demanding of one another sometimes...

All in all... I do love her... I love her like a sister... hell I consider her my sister that I never had...

So, the anser to your question is, NO... don't worry about it. No matter what people say, it is possible for a man and women to be best friends and not to have a type of sexual realationship.

My friend and I are living proof of this!

[laidbackkev01]

As long as he tells you when anything like that happens he is doing his part to show he's not doing anything behind your back. If things like that keep happening then it may become an issue. If he values the friendship that way then he won't do anything to mess that up. As we get older we realize you don't come across to many true friends.

[Asker]

true - a lot of people these days are fakes lol

[Hidden_P]

No.

Calm down.

I know it's difficult, I'm exactly the same, I'm a huge worrier and jealous of stuff.

Trust him. Look at it this way, if there was something between them then why did he chose you in the first place? He could have had her when they were single.

Theres nothing wrong with him having a friend of the opposite gender, it might be that he gets on with girls more than boys, or it might even be he wants someone to talk about YOU with! Maybe she helps him pick out gifts for you and things? Women are much better at doing that kind of thing then men are.

Deep breathes :) I think you're fine.

[LittleWing]

It's fine for people to have friends of the opposite gender. But what's bad is when they give up time with YOU for the friend. Does your boyfriend do that? I'd be worried if they were hanging out all the time, going to each others' houses.. that sort of thing. If she's intruding in your relationship & causing any sort of trouble, it's definitely a red flag. If it's something you're unsure of, maybe it's time to let him go. Any doubt is never good in a relationship.

[emmabee11]

Don't worry about it because if you do you will come off as jsut the really crazy and jealous girlfriend and I hate it when guys I ain't even going out with do it to me like I can't even fliirt with any guys around then without them going off the fall, trust him and he shall trust you in return and your relationship will always be strong.

[HardAppleCider]

Will you ever be OK with this friendship, or will you always be jealous?

If you'll always be jealous, it doesn't matter if they are, or ever have been, f***ing.

I can say from first hand experience that female/male friendships can be exactly as you described without sexual interest (there's somebody I know that has had pretty much this exact same relationship with me, and I wouldn't dream of sleeping with her).

[THE_Godfather]

Girls have always been my best friends.

I may have thought that I would like to have sex with them but I never wanted to cheat on the girl that I was with or ruin a friendship.

I have one guy best friend. He was my neighbor growing up. I moved 1,850 miles away & we still talk.

My current girl best friend live 3K away in NY. We communicate almost everyday.

You're maybe a little paranoid. Watch him but don't be obsessed with this until you feel that you have a very good reason to be.

[THE_Godfather]

How / WHY did he see her tit$?

That may be over the line.

One girl was talking to me about birth control. I really didn't want to hear it. Anyway she opened her pants to show me this patch. I didn't look. She told me "I'm showing it's OK to look" I just looked down at her shoes. That was a topic of conversation. Showing your tit$ doesn't seem like it would be in the realm of any conversation.

He was honest enough to tell you so that you are aware of it in case she brought it up to you.

[laidbackkev01]

It's different in each case. Me and my best friend who is a female and also my ex are still close friends. We both know that we are better as friends rather than a couple. I would like to tell you that you are worrying too much but I've also learned from females friends that a females intuition is more often right than wrong. Just listen to your heart, eyes, and think LOGICALLY. Emotions can and will sway what you think.

[jdavid]

I have seen my friends t*ts too... she had a boob job to size DD. I have seen the quite alot... Not a big deal... there boobs... its actions that are taken between the two of them.. such as sex that you should be jelouse about... just seeing boobs is not big deal. He was open to you and told you.. this is a good thing... and if he truly has a solid friendship with her or them, then no, I wouldn't date or do anything with them eather in fear of the friendship getting ruined too...

Boobs are no big deal... in my opinion if she was to dance around completely naked, yes, that would be an issue because you would have to ask why is she doing this... now, let me ask you this, Under what circumstance did he get to see her boobs? what lead to her showing him them?

[Asker]

when he slept over at her place (which again he was open about and told me), and he said that those boobs of hers are too big for hima nd that he doesn't care about t*ts - he likes thighs and hips and belly (which is what I have)

[Asker]

she also sometimes walks around in her undergarments while he is thee but they haven't ever had sex

[shahab00x]

Surely they have sexual feelings for each other, but you can't force him to do anything. My advice is that you get a guy friend too.

[jokersgirl]

No! If he's been honest with you about everything, then you have nothing to worry about. It IS possible for men and women to be just friends.

[Anonymous]

The relationship is a red flag when he has to tell you that he has never slept with her.

It's a red flag when you're already unsure of what a relationship with him could be like because of her.

[Opinion Owner]

& if she's demanding towards him, that's going to cause a problem.

[jokersgirl]

It's a red flag when you get into a relationship when you already don't want to trust him

[Hidden_P]

That's not true, she can't know instantly his sexual partners and all his feelings unless she's an incredible stalker. It's best to be open about it, it's a red flag if she doesn't believe him afterward, but there's nothing wrong with asking him just for clarification. How do you know unless you ask?

[Anonymous]

all the comments are saying +1 year lol are you still needing help? for some reason its in the recents

[handsomelad70]

Yes if have good reason to believe he's clubbing her, otherwise maybe not.