Is it ok for me to explain to a guy why I won't introduce him to my friends or will that scare him off?

[CAPLOVE]

So, I'm talking to this guy and we went out the other day. When we went out he brought up about who did I tell about us hanging out I said just my mom and my one friend from camp. He said he told his mom and his friends. he seemed a little weirded out that I did;t tell my friends but I just blew it off. Today we were talking and he said about going to the mall but a lot of the girls from my school go there and I know it would become a big deal if they saw us there. So many times girls have stolen the guy I am talking to even girls who I thought were my friends that's why I'm scared. So today I said to him " I don't want you to think I'm trying to keep you a secret or I'm embarrassed of you or anything. it's just that my "friends" aren't really the best people and I have trust issues because I have had a lot of girls try to steal the guy I'm talking to. I really don't want this to be a red flag but I understand if it is." Now I regret saying that. Do you think that was bad to say and will scare him away? He said, "ok but you shouldn't worry cause I don't know them and I like you and not them and I understand what you mean and I understand what you mean and it's really shitty if a guy would leave you cause your amazing and there's nothing not to like about you". But I feel like he's just saying that.

[Oliverlogan263]

I don't think it was a bad idea to explain your reasoning to the guy. Communication is important, and he deserves to know why you're feeling cautious about introducing him to your friends. As long as you didn't come across as super paranoid or jealous, just honest about past experiences, that's best.

His response seems understanding, which is good. It's a nice thing for him to reassure you that he's interested in you, not other girls. I wouldn't worry too much about scaring him away - if he likes you, an honest conversation isn't going to change that. Relationships are about trust, so sharing how you feel is natural.

The only thing I'd say is try not to overthink it or come across too insecure going forward. Now that he knows the backstory, focus on just enjoying your time together without stressing so much about other people interfering. Easier said than done, I know! But it seems like for now he's willing to go at your pace.

Don't beat yourself up over the chat - you did the right thing opening up. As long as you guys keep the communication open, hopefully it makes your connection stronger. Try not to worry so much and see where things go from here!

[Z1pTD]

Yeah definitely explain it to him he'll get it

[darkforcebooty]

explanations would be required.

gotta be clear with why

[CAPLOVE]

ok, so you think what I said was ok? I don't want to scare him away

[darkforcebooty]

I think it was honest and direct!
it will help put some of his fears away
especially if you spend lots of time with him
and perhaps introduce him to other people in your life

[CAPLOVE]

ok, what do you mean by other people?

[darkforcebooty]

Well, if you had other people significant in your life that you dont think would steal him away, or have a negative influence.
It would calm any fears he has that you are trying to hide him away, just in case its not a spoken fear from him. HE MIGHT STILL HAVE IT... but not admit to it.. and that could lead to problems in the future.

[CAPLOVE]

get that. Do you think I'm being too paranoid or it okay for me to be this way? So introduce him to like family then?

[laly520]

u have to explain to him

[CAPLOVE]

ok, good to know. Was my explanation good? I really like him and don't want to scare him away.

[laly520]

just be honest n try to explain in clear way
that way he won't get scared

[CAPLOVE]

ok, gotcha

[Wise4myage]

Yeah, an explanation would be nice.

[CAPLOVE]

ok, but is what I said gonna scare him away? I really like him

[Wise4myage]

That’s always possible but hopefully it won’t scare him off.

[CAPLOVE]

ok, gotcha