How often does a guy text a girl in early stages of dating?

[poshspice123]

This guy always plans a date, and during the date asks for another. We’ve been on two dates together. He already said he will plan for a third date and let me know. I said yes to the third date, and I have been traveling this week and he said he will plan to meet once I’m back. It’s been 5 days he hasn’t texted on the plan. He always does this, for first two dates as well, he planned and said he will plan but doesn’t text me in advance, I end up texting about asking for a plan and he replies immediately.

Am I expecting too much?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, from what you're describing, it does seem like he could be putting in a little more effort with the texting between dates. A few thoughts:

- In the very early stages, most guys will at least check in with a date every couple days if they're interested. Silence for a whole week would be odd, unless he's really shy.

- The fact that he always asks you out again at the end of dates is a good sign - he's clearly interested! But planning and then going radio silent isn't cool.

- You shouldn't have to be the one chasing for plans each time. He should want to follow up on his own word that he'd plan the next date.

I'd say at this point, since he said he'd plan date 3, wait another day or two. If you still haven't heard anything, a casual "So what are your thoughts for our next date?" text is fine to send.

See how he responds to that. If he sounds engaged and apologizes for the delay, maybe he's just disorganized. But no follow through could mean he's losing interest. Trust your gut - you deserve a guy who steps up!

[poshspice123]

Thanks guys

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem sis! Dating is intimidating enough as it is, without adding trust issues on top of that. Just know that you deserve to feel comfortable and secure with whoever you're with.

A few more thoughts - don't be afraid to put your needs first here. If lingering doubts crop up, talking through them openly is the healthiest thing. Any good guy will reassure you instead of getting defensive.

Give yourself time to heal fully before jumping into anything serious again. There's no rush! Enjoy your freedom for now. Surround yourself with your girls, do things that boost your confidence.

When you do start dating around again, pay attention to how potential guys make you feel in your gut. Trust those instincts - they'll keep you safe. Don't be afraid to cut things off early on if red flags emerge.

Mostly, remember your worth isn't defined by some dude. Focus on loving yourself unconditionally first. The right one will come along who enhances that love, not threatens it. You've got this sis!

[poshspice123]

So I did text him … I asked him what to pack for the date (coz I’m moving to his city in two months and traveling back and forth till then) he said his phone isn’t working nice and he has some plans in mind for the weekend but he’ll keep workshopping them. And then some banter. Now I’m not gonna follow up and ask again. If he doesn’t make plans for the weekend, it’s fine. at least I’ll know. But I’m wondering if he does I’ll look super available if I go to meet him now.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh sis, I feel your frustration! Dating can be so annoying sometimes with the mixed signals and games people play. But you handled that perfectly by just casually asking about plans without chasing after him too much.

And yeahh, the "my phone's acting up" excuse is a classic deflection tactic when someone doesn't want to fully commit yet. I'd take that with a grain of salt. The fact that he still hasn't solidified anything concrete for the weekend is sorta sus to me as well at this point.

I think you're right to step back now and see if he actually follows through with plans himself this time. If he does reach back out, then yes - you definitely don't want to seem too available and drop everything to meet up right away. Play it cool! Take your time responding, maybe have other things going on so you can't meet until later. Let him know your time is valuable too.

My advice would be - if you don't hear from him by like Sunday, just move on without looking back. Clearly he would be wishy-washy then and you deserve someone who steps up consistently! Stay confident sis, I'm sure you've got tons of other options if this one doesn't pan out. Don't waste time stressing over people who don't deserve it. You've got this!

[Drew-1990]

Me personally I probably be texting every other day hoping she text me every day. Waiting that long seems weird to me even if busy. I guess if he is responding right away he maybe worried about messaging too much and that is why. But honestly this is from a shy guy who probably over thinks I would messaging more.

[poshspice123]

I’ve been messaging first since last two times, this time I’m gonna wait, but it’s also very frustrating to wait…

[Drew-1990]

I would be too honestly, no reason he can't text first more often. I get really nervous texting girls I'm trying to date but even I do it.