Do you think we sometimes want things because we can't have them and not actually because we value them?

[jennifer_bloom]

I like very very very smart guys but I think if I was a very very very smart girl, I would not value a super smart guy as much as I do now.

An example is that when I used to have low self esteem as a teenager, I liked black guys cause they were usually very confident and bold and courageous. Once I got my courage back, I lost all attraction to that type of cultural expression.

When I used to have poor communication skills, I valued guys that were articulate and well spoken, but once I got my communication skills on track, I no longer cared if a guy was articulate and well spoken.

[Anonymous]

1) I believe we want challenges as people.
As guys, they try to approach and seduce cute girls around. It is endless unless you have certain commitment or belief.
Once the approached girl gives in, you'd find the guy no more interested. 🤯

In his mind:
I won this challenge/round. Up to the next..

2) As per you say: when we grow up and learn more, our standards grow up as well.
Some people were couragous in our eyes, simply because they expressed their opinions. Now, we see if they think before expressing it.

You simply picked any role model around.. it is not liking but dedication and seriousness of learning and developing.

3) Based on no.2, as we start to set specific critetia for different traits and qualities, we start where we tolerate and not tolerate. With levels for each side.

Those who we tolerate and have special characteristics (in each one's definition) are ones who we like, admire, and maybe love. Not also do we learn from, but we can learn together (from each other) as well as just be ourselves around.

Hope it helps and makes sense.

[Avicenna]

There is a lot of truth to that.

[NetherlandsNar]

Oh yes definitely. I do that all the time