Should I try again?

[nik0102]

I met this girl at a bar, we exchanged instagrams and arranged a date. She was really charmed, saying she liked my confidence in the bar. At the date, I came to really like her, which made me a lot more nervous. She later told me that, that was kind of a red flag, especially that I didn't meet the high standards that I myself set. She kinda likes me, but is not 100% sure.

I really like this one, should I try again or just move on?

[OlderAndWiser]

Instead of trying now to decide whether she should be your future wife, why don't you just stop with planning the future and enjoy getting to know her now?

[nik0102]

That's what I want, to get to know her. Would I be needy if I ask her on a 4rth date, given the circumstances

[OlderAndWiser]

You should wait until you have dated for at least 2-3 months, assuming you date around once per week.

[Pete671]

Try again, but it maybe seems like she thinks you were only confident after drinking alcohol, if you did drink alcohol of course,,,

There maybe is alcohol problems in her family,,,

Yes go for a second date but don't drink alcohol, don't meet in a bar, do something active,,,

[Zenpanda]

Go for a second date, if it goes well you can continue. If it falls flat, move on.

[nik0102]

We went on a total of 3 dates. She explained to me the above on the 3rd date. She told me the first 2 dates were kinda disappointing but the 3rd one was really good and that she had loads of fun. Should I try for a 4rth or would it be a bad idea?

[Zenpanda]

What kind of dates were the first few? Because if anything you could try something very different for a next date to see if you two vibe in a different setting.

[nik0102]

They were for drinks mostly. I really like this girls, she seems the most mature and smart that I have encountered, but I don't want to come along as needy

[Zenpanda]

Invite her for an activity, something both of you like. Actually doing something can reveal more of how you two are together than just talking while drinking.

[nik0102]

Maybe sounds a good idea, thanks

[sheikalana]

What red flag did she see?

[nik0102]

She said I was too confident on the bar, which is good, it made her excited. Then several days later I was shy

[sheikalana]

I don't see that as a red flag at all. Is normal for our behavior to change depending on the circumstances and environment that we're in. Saying that's a red flag is a bold statement. If you guys are still talking to each other try schedule another date and be more confident if she refuses or doesn't talk to you anymore just move on.

[nik0102]

On our last date she said she had a lot of fun and that it was a good date. But she is not fully convinced on the romantic side of our relationship

[sheikalana]

Is she opened to still meet you again or she just wants someone to talk to?

[nik0102]

We left it open that it's nice to meet again though

[sheikalana]

Give it another try.