What is it like having an open relationship?

[Anonymous]

I need advice. I was thinking about having one whenever I’m ready to date but I want it to be one sided. What are some tips anyone can give me?

Updates

11 d

I forgot to add. It’s for him to date other women and have them fill his needs.

[sawno]

Alright I had to scroll down a lot to find which side you actually meant, so as a tip you come across extremely selfish in this post while you are trying to be selfless. Next time it's better to also write that you wish to allow him to have sex with others, it's important context for the actual answer.

Because since you aren't being selfish here he is not going to be the one hurt by it. That is going to fall on you and your ability to handle this. For me I know i'd be heartbroken seeing the love of my life have sex with another guy, I can't handle that. After the close bond I experienced during my last relationship I want nothing more than pure monogamy.

If I put myself in the position where you wanted our relationship to be open i'd still act like its closed because I wouldn't compromise on the connection. Other guys will probably have their fun with it though, so you have to be prepared for your guy not to be like me and actually go out and do it frequently. And then that has to not damage you emotionally.

How you react to it is very personal, I have seen stories where the girl feels empowered because despite every other person he is fucking he's with her at the end of the day and prefers her over anyone else he could fuck. I have seen stories where she becomes jelous and the whole relationship falls apart. I have seen stories where she allowed him out of love but was hurt every single time and neglected by the guy.

So the only good outcome I see is if you either aren't bothered or are the type to feel empowered by it. Otherwise its going to be a struggle of your own making.

[Finchie40]

It’s not for everyone , so really think about this before getting yourself involved in one , before making that decision cuz sadly it could backfire on you and you will end up kicking yourself in the ass for making that decision. As for me, I prefer FWB’s with a girl that is on the same page as me , we only have sex with each other but we are both allowed to date other people if we choose to , if one of us ends up in bed with someone else? We promise each other we will just remain friends and eliminate the benefits part. This works for people , including myself that doesn’t want to rush into a commitment with someone right away , it gives us both time to really get to know each other before making that big commitment with each other

[normalice]

My ex is in one. I can only say she seems happy and she recommended the book The Ethical Slut. I have not read it but I'll pass the recommendation on to you.

I will say if by one sided you only want yourself to be allowed to sleep around the only sort of guys who might go for that are likely busy doing their own thing and won't have a lot of time for you. But if you mean only the guy is allowed to sleep around probably most guys would at least think they want it but might quickly let it go to their head and become unbearably cocky.

[Asker]

It’s where HE can sleep with other women and we keep our relationship.

[normalice]

Hm. Probably your easiest play, then, is to find a guy who is already in a relationship. Poly relationships suffer immensely from the simple fact that it is a bazillion times easier for women to find guys to sleep with them than it is men to find women to sleep with them. You should have no trouble on OKCupid or whatever finding a poly group looking for women.

[Anonymous]

You’re ready to date. Now you’ll never date. But let me tell tou. Between beinf single forever and having a open relationship. Be single. Trust me. They never work and anyone who claims to be happy and has done this long term is lying or a crazy exception to the rule

[TommyMountainFigure]

No idea, but I would rather jump out of an aeroplane without a parachute than to go through one of those!

[Asker]

It’s not for everyone

[TommyMountainFigure]

Nope, I guess not. I tell you what I do wonder though. How many people who say they COULD be in one, actually realise they can't after it's to late? Then what happens? Do they get violent?

[Asker]

No, but it can be a bit frustrating.

[TommyMountainFigure]

How so?

[Asker]

One partner can be upset that their partner changed their mind later down the road. Like they thought that’s what their partner wanted but it wasn’t.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Don't get me wrong, I respect you for what you want from life, but a bit frustrating? I had to laugh at that, considering Id rip the guy's face off piece by piece, so much so he would look like a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle by the time I finished with him!

[Asker]

For what?

[TommyMountainFigure]

My brain will never allow me to accept there is a difference between an open relationship and cheating. I was cheated on when I was in my teens, very cruelly. I was a weakling both mentally and physically. I changed my whole life around, martial arts, bodybuilding, Contact Sports You name it. I've done it. With all that, me being in an open relationship would bring back everything that happened in my teens. When you say 'for what,' I meant I respect how you want to live your life.. open relationship.

[Joshydavid25]

"I was thinking about having one whenever I’m ready to date but I want it to be one sided."

You seem like you want somebody to love, but not exactly ready to "date".. Not with that attitude.. LOL..

[Joshydavid25]

He should get all his needs with you, but you do you and your relationship..

[Honest-Matt]

an emotional rollercoaster that doesn't go anywhere unless you both equally bag partners. If there's any unevenness, someone gets hurt emotionally.

[Berethor]

My advice is that you be clear by what you mean one sided, that it is in his favor, not yours.

[ManInChains]

Why would you want it to be one sided? No one would want to be with you if it were one sided.

[Asker]

Yeah so?

[ManInChains]

You seem to be a very self-defeating individual... Who hurt you?

[Asker]

No one. Besides, there’s plenty of open relationships that are one sided.

[ManInChains]

Doesn't make it right... But you do you I guess. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

I have my reasons. To be honest, I don’t think a closed relationship would be good for me.

[ManInChains]

You're probably right, it probably wouldn't be good for you or the guy involved.

[Asker]

I mostly want it to be for him.

[Asker]

Open relationships aren’t for everyone. But there are plenty of men who wouldn’t mind open relationships.

[ManInChains]

I'm sure you're right because all men want is sex and lust instead of anything meaningful.

[Asker]

What are you getting uptight about? It’s my life. If my future partner agrees to an open relationship that’s one sided, then what’s the problem?

[ManInChains]

How am I getting uptight about it? I did you do you didn't I? I never days it was a problem.

[ManInChains]

say*

[Asker]

But your last comment was filled with sarcasm. When did I say men never want anything meaningful?

[ManInChains]

I didn't mean for it to come across as sarcastic. And you never did say that, I did. For some reason you're searching for an argument that isn't there...

[Asker]

Then let’s end this conversation. Clearly, you have no advice to give.

[ManInChains]

You're right, we should because I am not into open relationships. Good luck finding the advice you hope to hear without starting any pointless arguments

[JacobJordan]

Don't do it they have a near 100% failure rate in under 2 years and not one has been reported making it past 5 years

[DrPepper12]

Wish I could. You could always date with the COMMUNICATED caveat that it's not exclusive til you say so.

[Lessthanaveragr]

It's but bad, I'm in one. Well my girlfriend gets to do whoever she wants and I don't.

[dfdfdffffdfdf]

u mean like , only person allowed to date other person?

[dfdfdffffdfdf]

one person , i mean..

[Asker]

Yes that

[dfdfdffffdfdf]

so is it you or him who allowed to date other person?

[Asker]

It’s for him. It’s so he can get his needs met where I can’t.

[dfdfdffffdfdf]

tbh i dont think it would be hard to find that guy
the main problem is to find women who willing for that scenario
in my opinion , your best shot would be muslim couple , bcos their religion encouraged polygamy

[Jennz6]

The best thing is your independence

[SecurelyInsecure]

I imagine lots of heartbreak?

[jahaims]

It's not healthy

[Asker]

It’s not for everyone