Guys, if you are single, have you abandoned the dating scene?

[OlderAndWiser]

The above YT video bears the title, "Over 72% Of Men Have Left The Dating Scene." I say "bullshit."

Who posts this nonsense? Perhaps it is the attractive but entitled, prima donna girls who can't keep a guy interested in them. It's probably easier for them to blame men than to consider the possibility that they - perfect girl that they KNOW they are - are doing something that makes them unattractive to men. Unfortunately, guys who want to go MGTOW see this and feel that they are part of some social movement. They don't realize that they are a small fraction of the male population.

Am I right, or have 72% of all guys given up on dating?

Guys, if you are single, have you abandoned the dating scene and given up on the hope of ever finding a decent woman?

I am a teen and I have not yet started dating

I am not a teen but I still have not started dating

I'm not dating because I'm in a relationship. If it ended, I WOULD start dating again.

I'm not dating because I'm in a relationship. If it ended, I would NOT start dating again.

I am a single man and I am currently dating. I haven't given up on women!

I am a single man and I am NOT currently dating but for other reasons. I haven't given up on women!

I am a single man and I am NOT currently dating. Yes, damned right, I have given up on women!

[AviatorTom]

I am not dating now... I'm in a very satisfying LTR with my SO. I will say, though, immediately after my divorce, several years ago, I took about a year until I started dating, and dated several women, some better than others, until I found my SO. At my age, I don't know a lot of single people, but those that I do know are dating, at least occasionally. I agree with your comment about the YT video... bullshit.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe it's different for the younger generation. Everything that gets labeled as "progress" does not actually represent an improvement!

[Joshydavid25]

I'm a single man, but I am not currently actively dating for other reasons.. I haven't given up on women because there are too many in this world I haven't met.. Most women outside of the net are fairly reasonable.. I don't believe 72% have given up.. Maybe a lot say they have, but I doubt it.

[Joshydavid25]

Thanks for MHO!

[Finchie40]

I wouldn’t say abandoned , but I no longer rush into relationships with girls’, especially these days , most girls’ I meet or talk to, come off sweet and innocent in the beginning but after a bit , they change their minds , they basically want their cake and want to eat it to , having very selfish mindsets , only wanting things her way , she will tell me things that she doesn’t want me doing to her , but she doesn’t follow the same rules she expects me to follow , so that’s why I no longer give myself completely to a girl anymore , once the infatuation period runs it’s course , that’s when you usually see someone’s true colors shine. I am not saying guys’ aren’t selfish either cuz they easily can be , but i don’t date guys’ so her past experiences with guys’? Is her problem not mine., I will only give my heart to a girl that values and appreciates me the same way I do for her , I value honest girls’ if she can’t be honest with me , I will not be be honest with her period , especially she treats me like a convenience , she will be my convenience as well until I trade her in for a girl that actually has a heart.

[FunkyMonkee]

I haven't really been IN the dating scene! In my 20's, I had 5 dates. The first one, Mary, came to see my future band play a gig but, she had to leave by midnight so, her brother drove over to pick her up at midnight. Less than a year later, her other brother joined the band with me!
My second was with this very nice girl, Vicky, and we had a nice evening but I wanted to get home by midnight or so to catch a movie on HBO that I wasn't sure was ever gonna be on again so, we went back to my place and the movie (more of a comedy than a horror flick) scared her so, she decided to leave. She couldn't stand ANY kind of scary movies but I loved them so, it wouldn't have worked out.
My third date was with a good friend, Juley but, she invited a friend of hers to come along and they eventually started seeing each other and I think they got married.
My 4th was with a girl I met in college and fell madly in love with her. I took her to a movie (The Wall) and she asked if she could invite our best friend, Marc, to come along. I said it was okay. We got to the theatre and she positioned herself next to Marc rather than me! Marc sat between us and they both ignored the fuck out of me the rest of the night. Not long into the movie, it was obvious she wanted to be with him and was ignoring me so, I got up and moved to another seat. As soon as the movie was over, I got up and left them to be alone. After it was over, they'd finally figured out that I was gone! When she asked why I left early, and I told her, SHE got pissed!!
My 5th date was with another college friend. She was a huge Al Yankovic fan so, I got her tickets to see him and Dr. Demento (who I wanted to meet). It was actually a fairly nice date but, she owned up that she had her eye on some other guy.
The next time I tried dating was in the early `00's after I broke up with my ex-fiance.
This time, I met them all via the Internet. Chat rooms. One picked me up and we went for a drive in her Mustang and that was it.
Another went out somewhere with me and, when I called her up a day or so later, she started talking to me like I was some friend of hers named, Frank, and she went on about what a terrible date I was because I just wanted to get a pizza with her instead of spending shitloads of cash on her!
Another had me over to her place and we made out a bit in her bed but nothing more than kissing and feeling each other up happened. We never saw each other, again.
Another went to eat with me and we had a walk in the park but, online, we got on pretty nicely together until she sent me a picture of herself the night before the date. HOLY SHIT was THAT scary!! She looked like a big, brutish male truck driver that looked like he injected ground coffee into a mainline and was overdosing on caffeine!! She was also about 2' shorter than me!
Another was dog-sitting and just had me over to their house where we went across the street to a Wendy's to eat and chatted for a couple hours while she dealt with the dogs. She reminded me too much of my cousin, Lisa.
And, another made plans to meet with me in person and we were even talking about sex! We got to the Eat & Park, about 10 miles from my place, and she brought her kids and her best friend with her, who acted like a scared rabbit all evening!! We made plans to go back to her place but, once we met and got something to eat, we both decided that wasn't a good idea! She, because her friend didn't trust me and I, because she told me that she's had 4 kids, each with a different father, and she wanted me to be daddy 5!! Nnnno thanks!!
About a decade later, I tried again. There was some girl that was a friend of the band. We went out just to eat and not much else. She walked me back to my bus stop a block away and waited with me for the bus. When I saw it coming, we hugged and I hugged her so strong, I broke the snap on her bra! (She had huge tits and was wearing a bra that closes in the front with a plastic clip.) A couple weeks later, on my bands own FB page, I said SOMETHING, not sure what, that pissed her off and everyone else on the page and they all banned me from my own band's page!! Of course, it was something COMPLETELY innocent and was supposed to be a bit of a joke! But, thin-skinned lefties don't know how to TAKE a joke and took it DEAD seriously!!
And, there was another girl, Ginger, who saw me several times after work while l waiting for my bus home. Somehow, we met online, I think, and she mentioned having seen me at the bus stop quite often. We went on a date and got on well together but she was a pig!! We were eating in one of my fave restaurants and while eating, she burped a time or two! I mean, out loud! She talked OVER the food so, she showered some of it with her spit. During the meal, she ended up with this foot long strand of onion hanging from the side of her mouth while she talked! It hung there swinging around for a good 2:00 before she did anything about it!
And then, there was A. J.. She was married so, these weren't really dates but, we made it to Vincent's Pizza Park several times and had a pretty nice time. I met her in the chat rooms, too and we got on quite well together. We "dated" at least 4 times and each one ended with a huge hug and a sloppy wet kiss from her. Of course, her hubby was a mistreater! We stayed in contact for well over a decade until she died a few years ago.
And, I guess you could say I "dated" a trans-girl. We were both fans of The Monkees so, when we heard they were coming to town, we went to see them together. By that time,. it was just Mickey & Davey and they had yet to release their last album or do their last full reunion tour. Another time, we drove at least 100 miles west to see a band where she grew up. Last I heard from her, she was planning on recording her second album and wanted me to play drums on it and help her produce it. She showed me the 136 track digital studio she built ion her house and gave me some of the demos to listen to and then decided not to do the album. About 8 years later, she died of cancer! I still have the demos and, if I EVER get all my shit sorted out, here, I hope to try to finish her demos and see if I can release them.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

LOL about 70% between the last two options.

I've far from given up. But I've sort of abandoned classical dating.

I used to try and impress woman with my sense of humor or how I looked or my lifestyle. But it mostly attracted bottom of the barrel woman. I ended up dating some nice girls don't get me wrong. But they were the exception.

Maybe the blame goes to social media or how we raise woman or the abundance of shitty options women have. But woman who are looking to be impressed have a fatal flaw down to their core and it's that once they get to know you, everything you do is mundane and things other men do are still impressive.

As a man, you should always be upping the ante in some way, don't get me wrong. But if a woman's source of respect for you comes from anything other than your character then there's always going to be a clock on the relationship. And you'll be fighting to wind it back every day. No man wants that. Personally, I could never respect a woman like that as my equal.

So instead of worrying about relationships and dating, I'm spending more time with friends, more time having new experiences, finding people to share them with and being more strict about deciding what purpose everybody serves in my life.

I'm almost ashamed I'm just realizing this at 27 and I still have more to wake up to.

[Chazmatazz269]

Giving up on dating is not the same as giving up on women. Lots of men are still interacting with women if only for sex. Many of them may even be quietly hoping that one of their flings, booty calls or friends with benefits becomes more. But they’re not committing in a meaningful way because they’re aware that the risks outweigh the rewards in 99.999% of cases.
Then there are men who have effectively given up on women entirely. Likely for basically the same reason, except they’ve actually experienced the hazards associated with the risks of interacting with women. Only an idiot blames the victim who refuses to be near dogs when they’ve been viciously attacked multiple times.
The number does seem high. But it’s not uncommon for people to either cherry pick statistics that suit their narrative, or to misrepresent available data entirely. More recent research suggests women are bailing on dating too. A convergence of those two data sets could definitely make it appear as though less than a third of men are actively seeking long term potential partners.

[OlderAndWiser]

The more interesting numbers would be a comparison to what that number was twenty or thirty years ago

[Chazmatazz269]

Like before online dating, or just in general? Definitely before the advent of “social media”, i think.

[OlderAndWiser]

Someone on social media spews out a narrative that suits their agenda (e. g., woman are all faulty rather than I am doing something wrong with dating) and enough gullible or needy people want to believe it and, eventually, it becomes accepted as the truth.

IMHO, I don't think most younger women are markedly different from the women of my generation on the basis of what they want in a relationship and what they have to offer. But guys encounter one or two women who confirm the narrative and. . . . they are convinced and stop looking.

I am 69 years old but I mentor a group of about 70 men at a local university. I talk to them quite often about dating, setting goals with their partners, etc., and I sometimes meet the young women they are dating. I see enough to get an idea if they are like the horror stories I hear on G@G. They are not.

[Chazmatazz269]

Fair enough. But maybe also consider that it only takes one to ruin a man’s life. Because of the myth that women are inherently weak, we don’t see anything wrong with them taking steps to avoid men who could victimize them. But when men start avoiding women who could victimize them, they’re overreacting? I have to disagree. Knowing that there are people out there who could and would hurt you in one or more ways, it’s nothing less than prudent to protect yourself, man or woman.

[OlderAndWiser]

If everyone implements that philosophy 100%, nine months from now, the last human will be born. And most people will be lonely for the remainder of their lives.

Yes, people should be cautious in relationships. And people think they can just have casual sex and avoid relationships but, over and over, I read how people developed feelings for their friends with benefits. If folks would slow down with jumping into bed and get to know their partner first, much of this nonsense could be avoided. . . on both sides.

[Chazmatazz269]

I wasn’t suggesting that everyone ceases interacting with everyone else. I’m suggesting that if it’s okay for women to take precautions, then it’s nothing short of sexist to expect men to “man up” and risk their lives and livelihoods, least of all “for the sake of the species”. I don’t know if you’ve met many people. I have, and I’m not a fan. Wouldn’t hurt my feelings one bit to find out we quit making more. Ell oh ell!
Oh, and to your point about how similar modern women are to previous generations. You might be right. What has changed is men have stopped taking women’s shit like your generation and mine did. They don’t feel like what women offer is worth the kind of abuse that caused you and i to just say, “Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t live without ‘em!”. Turns out, we CAN live without them! Who knew? Ell oh ell!

[Goahead76]

What sparked all this is a Pew Research Poll from 2022 that showed 63% of men 18-29 were not in a relationship of any kind. Washington Post ran a story on it and a bunch of other media jumped on it and basically found that most were not looking anymore either.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Goahead76 "Most Americans say they’re in a committed relationship of some sort, according to a July 2022 Center survey. Overall, 69% of Americans say they are married (51%), living with a partner (11%), or otherwise in a committed romantic relationship (8%)."

"Younger adults, especially young men: 47% of adults under 30 are single, compared with smaller shares of those ages 30 to 49 (21%), ages 50 to 64 (30%), and 65 and older (39%). Men under 30 are far more likely to be single than women in the same age group. Young men are also more likely than older men to say this is their relationship status."

www.pewresearch.org/.../

[HawkPerception]

I'm still dating. But I do have to say that the majority of modern day women are very disappointing, to the point where I question whether I should just be content being single or continue draining myself in my search for "the real thing."

Most of them are feminists. Many are misandrists. Most are addicted to broadcasting their lives to everyone on social media. Most are entitled. Many are selfish. Most lack sexual initiative. Many play hard to get (play the game). Many have had hoe phases. A lot of them genuinely believe in astrology and treat it as their religion. Most are materialistic and many are gold-digging and treat their partner as an ATM.

None of my girlfriends have been like that, and I know there are good girls out there, but it seems like the majority I meet is at least a few of those. It's just draining.

[Goahead76]

I'm looking at just the comments and at a glance it seems well above 72%. I think a lot of us can relate to exactly what you spelled out, well said!

[OlderAndWiser]

@Goahead76 The comments left by those who cared to comment do not necessarily reflect the feelings of the population at large. In fact, those who feel strongly about this issue are much more likely to comment than those who are dating and having success.

[Goahead76]

@OlderAndWiser So I've been doing my own bit of looking into this for about the last year just because I couldn't believe it was that widespread. It's anecdotal but almost every single guy I've run into over the last year has told me they don't bother.

[JCIrons]

Not dating and haven't for a while. Women these days are difficult. They're very difficult to get along with. The last two women I had did nothing but make my life absolutely miserable. Miserable. Yeah gimme some more of that at my age. I don't think so. I'd sooner stick finishing nails into my eyeballs. Besides, when you get to a certain age peace simply becomes numero uno. I have my home gym, my dogs, a good job, books, plenty of friends, and I'm financially stable. All is peaceful and I'm not ruining it.

[ManInChains]

I'm a single man and have given up on women. Been mgtow for 9 years now. I'm happier alone as opposed to with a woman. Besides I'm not interested in sex or having children. I don't want to get married either so having a relationship with the end goal being those things is pointless. It is not a bad thing for a man to be alone if that is what he wants.!

[AaronKrieger]

No, I am just not actively seeking it out, since I am too busy for it with two jobs and being in college. If I come across a girl who I am interested in, then sure, I'll shoot my shot, but I don't think about being in a relationship often. I am genuinely fine with being single.

For most people, I think they want to be in a relationship on some level and quite a lot of them actively want it, which is normal.

[PreferNot2Say]

Women have made dating a business transaction. They've gotten to where they all think that their pussy's are made of gold. In my experience they usually look like tarnished brass or like a pack of ground beef. No self respecting man wants his child sliding out of a pussy that's seen more traffic than a Starbucks. The juice ain't worth the squeeze anymore. Just one man's opinion 😁.

[liggang]

I haven't given up on women but one rejected me that I liked. It hurt more because she flirted with me and I would catch her staring at me all the time. She even sent me hearts wirh her hands and shit. And then I ask her out and it's a no like wtf I thought you liked me bitch?

[ProbablyClueless]

No, but I'm also not actively trying to date, even though I'm open to the idea. I actually had a chance encounter with a really cool lady a couple days ago, at this local meet up-type thing that I go to. She's new to the group. Our personalities have a pretty magnetic interaction. We'll have to see what she's like on a longer term basis, but the spark was definitely there.

[Drumlin2001]

Not single. But if I were I would keep plugging away, never give up. I'm fortunate that I live within easy reach of several local towns and work in a major city so have quite a wide catchment area when searching.
I can understand people getting disheartened though. Some people seem to have unrealistically high expectations

[AlexEfron]

😂 voted the last option. I honestly don't have any intentions of dating anymore. I did date a girl when I was in college. Not anymore. And probably won't again.

I wouldn't say I have given up on finding a decent woman. But from the people (girls) that I have known (and I've known way too many), I don't wish to pursue anyone. No one is perfect and it's not like I have high standards and expectations from people. Yet almost all of them are disappointing.

[RingOfFire]

I haven't dated in a long time. It's not because I don't have any opportunities, I have my share. But it just doesn't seem like an option at this time in my life. I'm focused on other things and don't feel an urge to get into another relationship. Not sure if I will ever get back to that place or not at this point.

[Unit1]

meh.

I haven't given up but i'm also not expending big effort to find me a girlfriend. The ROI is low enough to not bother too much.

[cunnilinguist]

Why would you want to date when you can make your own perfect partner by equipping a doll of your choice with an AI personality of your choice?

[OlderAndWiser]

If Fashionista Amy in the plastic (not flesh) is your idea of a woman, go for it. . . but that is not what most guys want!

[cunnilinguist]

Not just yet. As soon as they're well-equipped with a pussy that cannot be told apart from a real one (plus they will be better-looking than you, smarter than you, and more obedient than you), the table will turn.

[OlderAndWiser]

If we get to that point in my lifetime, and there is one allotted for me, you may claim it on my behalf.

[cunnilinguist]

I'm pretty sure if you can have one you can have more. Not everyone will be interested in keeping a harem though.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm dating very casually. Haven't seen a whole lot of the characteristics that would be compelling enough to settle down with. In the interim though... might as well have fun.

[NathanDavis]

never really needed an scene nor to date around that much

meeting good and great people does happen in occasion enough for me to work it out from there, always been that way

[LiamJHayden]

I still date, but I have definitely seen an uptick is girls whose expectations are over-the-top, like wanting a 5-Star Restaurant on a first date. I refuse to drop that much on someone I do not know.

[82lynx]

I’ve never dated, but considering all the crap I’ve gotten from women I deal with for any reason, it’s just not something I can be bothered with.

[spartan55]

My current mindset on dating is very laissez Faire. If it happens to fall in my lap great.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Yes did so when I turned 30 a few weeks ago now almost a few months ago. Merrily retired now at 30 from the dating scene ✌🏻☮️😋👌🏻 lucky me 😈

[Goahead76]

From the comments I'm seeing 85-90% saying the same.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I am a single man and I am NOT currently dating but for other reasons. I haven't given up on women!

[msc545]

I'm single and I have given up on women other than prostitutes. Too many prior bad experiences.

[Anonymous]

The juice is not worth the squeeze. Life is very peaceful and I see no need to invite anything that takes away from that peace.

[Anonymous]

I'm married to a lovely woman, but if it ended with her I would date men. I haven't given up on women, they were just never my intended goal.

[zagor]

Yeah I never actually decided to give up on women I just kind of quit trying and inertia took hold.

[pethouse]

I mean I haven’t yet but if I never get a girlfriend at a curtain age probably like 28 I’m
Definitely gonna give up.

[elaphe]

I didn't walk away from the dating scene; it walked away from me.

[ryancg]

I guess I'd say I gave up, my last relationship was just really bad.