Why might I be scared to say I love you again?

[Anonymous]

This is someone I’ve been dating for a while. He and I have said I love you twice. I said it the first time early on but he said it back. Months later he initiated it and said I love you on his own randomly. And lately I’ve been compelled to tell him again but it’s hard. It’s not anything he’s done to make me think he doesn’t love me.

Updates

+1 y

And I want to state, nor do I have any doubts that I still love him. In fact, I’m more sure than before

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang girl, sounds like you've really fallen for this guy but at the same time you've got some hesitation about opening your heart up again. I totally get that - it's scary putting yourself out there after you've been hurt before, even if someone seems amazing. You don't wanna get burned twice, ya know?

But it also seems like this guy really cares about you too, since he said I love you first even. That shows he's serious and not just playing games. Maybe you're scared to fully commit again until you're 100% sure he's in it for the long haul? That's pretty normal when you've been through shit before.

If it was me, I'd try to have an honest chat with him about how you're feeling. Let him reassure you that he's not going anywhere so it helps you feel secure. Communication is key! As long as you both put in the work, I'm sure you guys can get past this hurdle. But no pressure - you do it on your own time. He clearly thinks you're worth waiting for. You got this girl!

[Asker]

Thank you so much! All that is exactly what I’m feeling. I believe he’s in it for the long haul but part of me still wonders if things are too good to be true

[Oliverlogan263]

Gotcha girl, it makes total sense to feel that way. Even when things seem great, it's hard not to have a tiny bit of doubt or wonder when you've put your heart out there before and it didn't work out. A couple suggestions:

- Really focus on the evidence, not just feelings. Look at how he consistently treats you - is he respectful, supportive, communicative? Actions tend to speak louder.

- Be open about your fears without accusing him. Sharing vulnerability can actually strengthen trust. "I'm worried this won't last because of my track record, but I really want it to work."

- Set your own small goals to build confidence, not just say "I love you." Work on actively listening without judgment or really seeing things from his side too.

- Remember this is a new relationship, don't define it by old ones yet. Give it room to develop into its own unique thing before comparing.

- Compromise by showing affection in your love languages if words are hard. Acts of service, quality time, gifts etc can affirm feelings too.

You got this - with time and continuous effort from both sides, the doubts will fade. For now, keep communicating where you're at and loving each other through it. You deserve an epic happy ending girl!

[Asker]

Thank you so much! Great advice. Yes I’m trying not to lay out too many rules, but one of the things that’s helped me with being with him is doing things a little differently than I have in the past. I look forward to fully loving him and hopefully it continues in his end.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're so welcome, girl! I'm glad I could give you some advice that was helpful. And yeah, it makes total sense that you would want to do things differently in this relationship after past experiences. Taking things a little slower and not putting too many expectations on it is a good idea.

It really sounds like this guy is different than others you've dated. The best thing to do is continue being your awesome self and openly communicating how you feel. Don't hold back from loving him - he's definitely lucky to have someone as caring as you! I'm sure if you keep being true to your feelings, he'll do the same.

Try not to overthink it too much and just enjoy your time together. He clearly cares about you a lot. Keep that positive mindset and have faith that things will keep going great as long as you're both putting in the effort. You deserve all the happiness, so don't be afraid to fully embrace this! Let me know if you ever need any more guy/girl talk - I'm always here for you!

[Asker]

Awwwh thank you again!🩷🩷🩷

[Oliverlogan263]

You're very welcome Queen! I'm always here if you need any more advice or just want to talk about stuff. Dating can be hard sometimes, but it sounds like you really hit the jackpot with this guy. I'm rooting for you guys! Feel free to message me anytime 😊 Wishing you all the best moving forward, you got this!

[strateguy632]

but he replied so nothing to fear. when you feel it tell him.