Why it's scary when someone says ''I love you''?

Question

BuddyLee25 · Accepted Answer

It's scary because you feel pressured to make a decision to respond right away. You have to decide if you're in the same place as this person or not. If you are not in the same place you have to determine the best way to deliver the news as to not hurt the other person's feelings.

From a male perspective, this would be a scenario you should prepare for in advance. Ask yourself how you would respond to this statement if someone confessed to you. Preparation could alleviate some of the stress and provide the focus time to let you reflect in private how you're feeling. At least you will be prepared for a seemingly quick response to the other person. It will also allow time for you to craft a well thought out delivery of non-reciprocated feelings.

Otherwise, in the moment that you are surprised with this announcement and you are not ready to respond you can request time to check in with yourself and your feelings and promise to tell them at a future time.

Bottom line is you don't have to be in the same place at the same time with feelings. Thank the person for sharing that with you and share your truth!

shade_19 · Accepted Answer

If I'm tied to a chair and i got cuts.. while the person has knife in their hand and few spanking tools... and with a yandere look they say "i love you" then YES... IT'S SCAAARRRRYY.

Ok jokes apart, but if someone whom i don't love says i love you then it is scary... coz if that person means it and I'm very special for that person then I'm afraid i may hurt that person even if i don't want to (coz i didn't live them)
It's problematic

JEndigoBleue · Accepted Answer

I had a situation where a man said "I love you" while married. Only married for two months, wife wasn't home when I called to congratulate him on the nuptials (Someone told he got married). We use to have a casual sexual relationship (We both decided during that time we didn't want to be serious.) two years prior. We ended on a good note. I knew he felt that way, but never expressed it until he got married. I saw it as a safe zone. He doesn't have to be rejected or live up to it (Act upon his words). It's a weird thing. It was cool. I understood.

Dazed0N0Confused · Accepted Answer

Because when they say it it feels like the rug is being pulled from beneath you & the floor disappears. The mix of emotions that flood you is scary, especially if it's being spoken for the first time. You don't know whether to throw up, run away, or jump for joy.

lgutierrez0813 · Answer

Cause
1) You as an individual is not ready to say such statement or make such commitment
2) you're afraid of hurting the other persons feelings
3) you're afraid of hurting the current relationship you have with that person

Whether it be friends with benefits or a dating stage, we are often scared of losing what we didn't have. But we also shouldn't be scared to seek for what we deserve.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Simple.

Account · Answer

Lack of trust, fear of manipulation and it also puts an insanely amount of pressure to the person who is being said to.  I have the same issue. I don't like hearing that.

Anonymous · Answer

Don't know. Even I feel confused as of why is it scary. It is more of cringe and "I don't know what to do" that makes it more uncomfortable ig. Even if it is obvious that sb is going to speak such or similar things, it is awkward (no matter if he is your crush or sb else).

ILY is more scary than other such statements like "I like you" or "i think i have feelings for you" and similar.

SirJohn42 · Answer

Its scary because it makes you feel vulnerable. Do I really love this person comes in mind. Saying I love you can change the whole relationship.

Sometimes people dont want to step up to the plate. Also some people dont feel comfortable to say the words. Then some feel it ruins relationships.

serious · Answer

That is because one fears they won't be able to love the other person the way they deserve to be loved and also love comes along with its own set of risks and not everyone has the capacity to face those risks.

eileen_ruth · Answer

My mom said she loved me all of my life and she doesn't, my exes did to forget about me and replace me, I dont trust anyone who says this. I've accepted that no one will love me.

Hannah_le · Answer

Mm maybe cuz the person may not feel the same way like you guys like eachother but if u say I love u and he/she doesn’t respond good to that then it’ll hurt lol.

Souvikkun · Answer

It was scary I mean like I took her seriously... really seriously... I thought she really does. Its scary how hollow words can be. Its scary how easily you can be decieved... its scary how they are so insensitive and never know how you feel. Love is scary... really.

Biancam13 · Answer

Because of 💫trauma💫 and commitment issues. Some people don’t love themselves so they only accept the love they think they deserve. Which is to not be genuinely loved at all.

stardust2021 · Answer

I don’t think it is. If we can spread love by saying that, then let’s do it! 💕 (I’m feeling positive today lol)

LogicalGal123 · Answer

That is a very good question! I really don't know. The last time I said "I love u." was in 2006. After that, NOPE. When a guy who I was dating said that to me. My dumbass response was "thank u." 🤦🏻‍♀️ OR! I disappear the following day. 🤷🏻‍♀️

In my opinion, there are two reasons. I think.
1. Is being afraid to get hurt by love.
2. U are not sure how u feel.

I-C3_ME · Answer

Depends on the person really but perhaps they aren't used to it and it rushes them with emotions.

Could be they are affraid of commitment, naturally or from traumatic experience.

It's a really wide matter, but if you know someone who is. You can just ask em. Though if they don't want to answer, respect it.

UnlovedWife · Answer

It’s scary because they could be lying to use you. It’s also scary because love can leave so fast and it hurts

Snakeyes7 · Answer

Saying “I love you” seems to imply that the person who said it is willing to undergo some sort of commitment to the one they say it to. The one on the receiving end might not be ready for that kind of commitment just yet so it puts them in a difficult position.

cicadas · Answer

Lack of trust in that person or you think you can't/shouldn't be loved.

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Puts a lot of pressure on the person it’s said to

exitseven · Answer

It's not always scary. When you tell a girl that you love her and she says it back is one of the top ten things on my list.

JDavid25 · Answer

It's not scary to me at all.. I just feel bad if I don't love them back..

Anonymous · Answer

My teacher told me she loved me in the middle of class so I just found it to be an overall scary experience

SavageGirl101 · Answer

Cause most times they don’t mean it their just saying it cause they feel like u want them 2 😕

Tinana · Answer

I don’t think I love you is scary I believe the commitment and expectations that comes with it especially when the other person doesn’t feel the same way is scary

Feelicks · Answer

It's terrifying when you think you're home by youself.

bolverk · Answer

Because if you respond in kind it leaves you open and vulnerable.

bannacookies · Answer

Because it means they may be in your face and be too much in your business.

Anonymous · Answer

To me it's scary because I have a hard time saying it myself, (even if I do love them)

princyc · Answer

Actually it is something that comes from our society. Also most of the time people saying 'I love you' don't mean it. Honestly I haven't understood the meaning of love till date.

jijibu8 · Answer

Bcz u don't know if they f. ckin mean it. You can never know what another person's true feelings are. You just decide to trust them✨

talulahbee · Answer

It isn't I don't think. It's as scary as you make it. I tell my friends I love them. If I have the temptation to say it too someone I'm seeing I just do it, they can join in when they are ready. No pressure no fear needed.

EssenceOfLight · Answer

It's only scary if deeds of this particular person who says it, do not correlate with this phrase.

Iron_Man · Answer

No because eventually that’s what we’re looking for

Old_Golden · Answer

Because it implies a request for commitment on your part and some people just aren't ready for that

jimmy2 · Answer

I sm going to be with a widow. I myself am a widower. We both click well together. But we both are scared too. I belive we will be fine

ioxide · Answer

Because it's either too soon or if you're afraid of commitment and being close to somewhere it's scary, it's usually one of those two for me

Anonymous · Answer

Because you have so low self-esteem you think it's impossible for someone to actually love you.

sixtyeightplusone · Answer

because all women are crazy and that means the exit is gonna be painful

cheapshotbob · Answer

because its said to much and not shown enough, people need to  a refresher course.

lillianaustin · Answer

Because you're making yourself vulnerable, you don't if they're gonna say it back and if they feel the same way about you yet

Coulis · Answer

Because you feel responsible for their happiness. You aren't but you feelthat way.

Justneedtokno · Answer

One the person might not feel the same way about you. Two You might say it too soon and scare them away

Flirt254 · Answer

It gets scary when people who previously said they loved you didn't mean or left.. so when someone new tells you that you get scared

Medlife · Answer

Because most of the time is a lie

jhnny1331 · Answer

No not all, but if you don't feel the same be careful how you treat that person, think of how you would feel

Anonymous · Answer

Because if your the one being pursued you instantly expecting to be asked out.

AdithyaR · Answer

Because love is scary and there's the fact that you can do everything right and still lose them.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

Its scary depending on the person lol

Laciandmaci · Answer

I never find that scary!!!

soraaoi · Answer

It becomes scary when you dont feel secure enough with whats going on.

Bubbles45 · Answer

It's kinda scary I agree

Itsroxxie · Answer

When you aren't committed...

loveslongnails · Answer

Not at all. I usually say "why'? :-D

Pepsiman23 · Answer

Because you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

Because they want you to say it back to them

Aimee_Maemae16 · Answer

No not if you love them back

Twalli · Answer

Never found it scary.

ForeverPeachyPie · Answer

The fear of them leaving you

msc545 · Answer

It implies things like commitment and monogamy

Elsa143 · Answer

BECAUSE IT'S FAKE

genericname85 · Answer

Because it means vulnerability.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don't find it scary.

DaughterOfLilith · Answer

It's not.

Why it's scary when someone says ''I love you''?

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Why it's scary when someone says ''I love you''?

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