Why would a woman ghost after a great first date?

[Anonymous]

I've been around the block a few times now. I though I've seen it all when it comes to dating and mostly it doesn't phase me.
But this situation is truly eating away at my sanity.

I went on a date with a girl last Friday. We went to grab a drink at 7 pm and ended up staying there talking until midnight.
We clicked in a way that's beyond perfect. We have just about everything in common. Any point of compatibility has us compatibility.
We where laughing and joking and flirting and couldn't get enough.
You can cut the tension between us with a chainsaw!

And then I walk her home and we make plans to meet up next week.
I leave. And later text her goodnight, she replies still telling me how much fun she had.

And then for 3 days (sat, sun, mon) I don't hear from her.
I texted her Saturday, nothing.
I waited on Sunday, nothing.
Texted AGAIN on Monday, still nothing.

And it makes absolutely NO SENSE. I understand if the date was average that someone might change their mind. I've been let down or ghosted on before.
But this girl. Everything was pure perfection with her.

Now I'm wondering if I wait (today is still Monday night) and hope that she just got busy and didn't check her messages.
Or do I send her a message [on her phone and not on whatsapp] calling out the situation and saying:

"Hey. I had a great time with you Friday and could've sworn you did too.
So I'm texting you here just in case my other messages didn't reach you for some reason.
If for some reason you changed your mind, there's absolutely no hard feelings.
Just let me know so I can stop bothering you."

I'm open to suggestions before I send it because I don't wanna come off as butthurt, needy, or depressed. I definitely wanna seem chill, neutral, and still very much intersted.

[Changiis07]

I would say hold on. You already texted her and she could be going through something. If she is interested she will get back to you. If she doesn't then maybe she can give you an answer but the let me know so I can stop bothering you I wouldn't send that. I'd go about my day like she is

[Asker]

Yeah you're probably right. I shouldn't push it today since I did text today.

And I don't wanna sound dramatic either.

Maybe I'll wait until tomorrow, since we talked about meeting Wednesday, and I'll just go with the text wondering if she's gotten my message.

Because the idea of letting it go and waiting indefinitely for her to text back doesn't sound like a good thing either. She will eventually forget and move on, and so will I. But I would rather play it out till the end

[Changiis07]

Have you tried calling? If she doesn't answer in a few days she might just prefer to talk on the phone rather than text but I would wait some days. Maybe she has some fears as well there could be a few reasons. I doubt that she forgot about you though specially if you guys had such a great date

[Asker]

I didn't call. But we've been texting daily for 2 weeks leading up to the date. So it's safe to assume she doesn't mind texting.

And I do wonder about reasons. Especially since the date was truly something out of a romance movie.
And I know what I'm talking about I've been in the dating scene for years now so I can tell the good from the bad

[Changiis07]

That's interesting, or maybe she is still talking to the ex.. hopefully you hear from her this week

[Asker]

"Hi ,
Look we can’t talk anymore because I got back in touch with my ex
Wish you the best ☀️"

She just sent me that 😂

You called it @Changiis07 you fkn called it.

I feel like I'm hallucinating I swear to god.
There's just no fucken way her first move after such an amazing date is to get back with her ex.

I've been on dozens of dates in my adult life. Slept with 16 different girls. Had 3 girlfriends for more than 3 months. And yet I'm always destined to be alone in the end.

I'd give my left arm to have exes so obsessed with me that they keep crawling back no matter what.
What do I have to do to get that?
How much toxicity do I need to manifest?

[Changiis07]

WOW!!! I thought it would be something because how can you have an amazing date with someone and just go cold on them. At least you know now, and later she might reach out to you since at the end of the day an ex is an ex for a reason right

[Changiis07]

You really don't need to be toxic. I wouldn't say you are destined to be alone. There are so many people in this world and good women too. As long as your intentions are good and you're not out looking it will come to you. I would say focus on you and eventually someone will come, once you stop looking for it. That's what happened to me, I met someone at work when I had absolutely no interest in anyone and no interest in dating at all

[jennifer_bloom]

One theory I have is stimulation does not equal attraction. An expressive smile might be a sensory smile and not a deeper affection based curiosity and interest about you. I tend to bond with people I feel peaceful around and not people who stimulate my mind or spirit.

[Asker]

Oh trust me it wasn't just a smile because I called her pretty.
We had a very deep conversation that covered a lot more than the superficial layer.
Neither of us is actually religious, but we talked a lot about spirituality and the meaning of life and all that.
The date was truly exceptional.

[Adixia]

she is not interested :( or either has an other man. We women always have our phone in our hands. If we don't answer it's on purpose. I am sorry she didn't reply though. You should move on to a person that will care about you.