Why is so hard for autistic people to date?

[Anonymous]

It’s like our brains can figure out literally anything else but when it comes to dating or social stuff it’s a screeching halt

Updates

+1 y

Good opinions

[Zenpanda]

It's because both dating and social interaction are chaos and an assault on the brain. A lot of stimulation and a need for quick responses. The disconnect in how you communicate doesn't make it easier either.
I'm not autistic myself, but my best friend is and one of my exes as well.

[Asker]

So is it just being single for life

[Zenpanda]

That best friend I mentioned.
He got married December last year to an amazing woman.
So no, not single for life 😉

[Asker]

Well the thing is more often when people talk to me it’s either because they pity me or literally have no one else to talk to

[Zenpanda]

Than you should hang around different people. You have no need for pity or being a last resort.

[Asker]

Well this has always been the case whether I’m at work or in a public setting

[Zenpanda]

What do you do for fun?

[Asker]

Watch documentary’s

[Zenpanda]

Find people with similar interests, their less likely to focus on you being autistic and more on your shared interest. Look online or irl for someone to watch or discuss documentaries with. Like a fun discussion group.
Or start looking for a new interest or hobby, expand your horizons.

[Asker]

Like that’s the thing I’m so in tune with my own autism that I can easily pick up on if someone is trying to fake being friends or also if people are making fun of me behind my back

[Zenpanda]

I can tell you right now, that nobody has 100% accurate intuition.
Your experiences warn for signs you've seen before.
But that look or way of speaking that serves as a warning sign to you, might not be the same. Everyone is different and so are their reactions and actions. But even apart from that. You don't know unless you put yourself out there. Try something new.
If it's not friends or a romantic interest you gain, it a new experience.

[Asker]

The thing is I have put myself out there it’s how I have self thought myself this stuff it’s hyper beneficial being a autistic person with trust issues because usually that’s our big weakness is we are naive and trust too easily

[Zenpanda]

Yes, but through experience you also close yourself off subconsciously. You have to find the balance. You can trust people with information that's not valuable. There's a lot you can share that won't matter if they try to use it somehow. My best friend met his now wife at a fantasy/cosplay event. Sheer dumb luck. Normally he only trusts me and a few others. But he found that by sharing little by little he could trust her.
Share what you don't mind giving and expand if you feel it's right.

[Asker]

The only way someone will want to be close to someone with autism is if they are serving a purpose to them

[Zenpanda]

I'm sorry people have made you feel that way, but believe me, my friend can be an enormous pain in the ass due to his autism. He's not rich and his main hobby is gaming.
His wife gets love, trust and companionship out of the deal. She doesn't play that many games, she's an artist and makes plushies. They both work. Neither is using the other.

[jahaims]

Speak for yourself. Autism is on a spectrum. Date people with Autism.

[Asker]

It’s not easy to spot

[Asker]

We have what you call a invisible disorder