Should I break up or is there something worth saving?

[heybay22]

He would come over every day and sex was great. But things changed

He spends time with me most weekdays but all we do is sit and do work/homework

I’ve told him I feel a little distant only for him to say he’s with me all the time and I apologized. He was a bit annoyed or gets mad.

He seems to go out with friends weekends and our wine nights kind of stopped. I also don’t really know his friends (only met them 2-3 times) and I’ve asked if I could go and he’s said no because he just wanted to keep them all separated and that he didn’t want to be taking care of me and just relax. He told me once that he mixed his friends and ex girlfriend before and the girl kinda took the friends and now he wants to keep everything separated.

I’ve just been feeling super anxious and sad in the relationship. I feel too needy and stressed out. And almost like I wait for him to make a plan and I’m there.

We had sex once or twice a week before but recently it’s stopped. He says he’s stressed out.

He also kinda stopped coming over saying he’s just stressed and needs to focus.

I’ve addressed how I felt and he even decided to take me some place nice but that day it was closed and he then went out with the friends.

I kind of always ask if I could go and it’s gotten to the point where he got annoyed and says he’s with me weekdays

He also mixed up my graduation date and I told him to “go with your friends” and he didn’t call me for four days until he said he scheduled his internship appointment for a different date and then showed up.

He met my family but after I wanted to spend time with him and all he did was work. I cried and he took me on a drive. We came back and he stayed home and we haven’t had sex in a month.

After He hasn’t come over in like 5 week. He called me regularly asking me where I am and he updates me on his stuff as well.

I feel like I’m walking on eggshells sometimes and asking for his time.

[MrOracle]

That's a red flag in my opinion. It's one thing to have an occasional guys-only thing, but if there is mixed company, you should always be invited. That's what a relationship is - there's no "keeping it separated*.

[heybay22]

Yeah that’s what I’m thinking as well.

Is anything else a red flag here?

Should I just break up?

I love him a lot and it’s def gonna hurt but I don’t think I can bare with this anxiety

[MrOracle]

You have a discussion first and you set boundaries and expectations. If he doesn't agree, then you end things with him.

[heybay22]

I feel like I have over and over again. He gets mad or says he’s told me he’s stressed with work and juggling an internship and he says I keep asking and it irritates him that I don’t understand this.

I’ve asked him to come over and nada.

I feel so sad

[MrOracle]

It doesn't sound like he's in a position to be in a relationship. He's unable or unwilling to carve out a big enough piece of his life for you, and I don't recommend that you accept that. I don't know if he's making a real effort or not, but it doesn't sound like it to me.

[heybay22]

Thank you. I don’t know if this is just my perspective or I’m just not being patient enough.

I really do care about him but also I’ve been starting to get really anxious about all this as I mentioned.

I just wished he would make some effort

[MrOracle]

You cannot change other people - you can either accept them the way they are, or you move on and look for someone who you can accept.

[Marred0710]

If he truly cares for u he'll make time for u you'll be the only one he wants to be with hed want to spend all his free time with you n if the sex has stopped than more than likely he's getting a elsewhere n sex is a wonderful stress reliever u need to ditch him n find someone who wants to spend time with u n who can't keep his hands off u if a guy really cares for u n your the one he wld want u with him n his friends he wld be showing u off dump him quick n find someone that really wants to be with you

[Surely]

The honeymoon is over! Find another playmate.