Why do men give girls attention but not want to pursue anything, not even sex?

[Anonymous]

I've never had a relationship and im almost 30. Im really sad and always heart broken whenever i think im about to get my first boyfriend when i start talking to a guy. Its not even that “oh, turns out we’re not a match”, they just mever intended to develop a relationship of any kind. This one guy didn't even wanna be friends. Yet he would say im so pretty every time he saw me, asked for my number…blah blah blah and nothing. Be says he just asked because i was nice. Thats all. Just nothing more to it. doesn't even text me anymore when at first he offered tl take me to lunch and never followed up. UGH!

i just dont get whats so wrong with me? Whats so unappealing? For years people have said “you’ll find someone”. WHEN? It shouldn't be this hard! I've gone on dates with men from dating apps that i didn't find attractive at all and still nothing.

[Rosexøxø]

Yeah I was about to echo this or get loud suddenly and think this was groundbreaking.

I was literally thinking, “yeah! Why do they do that?”

but then I instantly realized/remembered: guys don’t mind watching, but not all are up to committing or so.

It’s like young people watching and holding cute newborns but not wanting to raise children and such.

Men don’t mind ogling the melons but not doing errands or talking to the tree of the melons 24/7. What about all the other melons? lol

Committing in a relationship for some guys can essentially be “com-limiting.” Limiting their optionssss “ “.

For some, it’s just a phase; for others, it’s life long. And for another few, it’s just not the case, at all.

Better to watch tv than to have to repair it or take it everywhere. You see what I mean? Some fellas simply don’t want any responsibility or limitation in that situation. Some ladies can be the same way. I’m just saying 🤷‍♀️.

Also eyes are only human, so if it’s simply staring or so, and even talking, a guy can still be deciding if they’re compatible and she’s the one for him. The one different from the others. Such and such.

I make no excuses for anyone!

And I can be wrong.

[Rosexøxø]

Okay so I read the context of the question and I wish to apologize. I remember being in that frame of mind. Something like it. And I couldn’t get an answer for myself either at the time of it. I just got distracted and found someone.

I think the answer could be less guys are being the committing type. I’d suggest just finding things in life that make you happy.

Try to be happy with self and on own SOOO that you don’t put that on anyone else and it be their job to KEEP you happy. It wouldn’t be right to either of you. To anyone in such matters. Don’t let BASTARD GUYS take out and make these best years of your life ones of sorrow or stagnation/inertia.

you're A FACKEN BACHELORETTE WOMAN!

OWN THESE YEARS. USE THIS TIME. And have NO regrets. 🙏

A man or woman shouldn’t complete you. You’re already the complete package. 📦 ✨ 💅 💐
🎁 💝

Any guy would be lucky to have you.

Clearly you’re self reflective and someone who’s adaptable or working on self and all!

You seem expressive and detailed. Observant! You’re a friggin! approachable! PERSON!

A LADY of character.

So don’t you dare let idiots around the globe the Mr wrongs have THEIR FUN in their game of breaking hearts or playing coward, while you wait for all of them!

DONT BE SLUTTY DONT LOVE AND YEARN FOR ALL OF THEM!

Wait for mister right. Cause the fellas with testosterone starting at puberty years will be sure to go for the goals they have in any shape or form. You leave that up to them sis!

And meet the right one with your expressive, approachable, and lovely self.

You’re elegant! Divine! That’s being a woman!

So enjoy your life. The years are more precious than any person of any age. Make the time count. Live it up. Do it all.

Have fun. Have a blast! 💥 🎊

[Rosexøxø]

Sometimes we don’t realize the good things we’ve got until it’s gone. “Boys” are just one part of the equation. Don’t miss out on all the other things cause of one thing.

Get involved. Hobbies pets trips picnics outings hikes trails excursions DO IT

like Nike- just do it!

Family. friends. Do it.

Find pleasure in other ways. Even if it has to be self or quick fun with guys. Don’t get caught in the whirlwinds. Don’t you dare get the sad lost puppy eyes. You’re not lost you’re not the (I forget) in waiting.

You’re miss fucking awesome.

And NO there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. 🥂

[CrabCakes11]

“men” shouldn’t give attention to “girls”. “Men” should give attention to “women”. Women are not girls

[Asker]

I said girls because im young and have been experiencing this since i was younger by much older men. In general, its a male and female thing of all ages though.

[Hanrej]

Men don't pursue anymore. They are waiting for you to pursue and even then they may not give in just because you're interested. Welcome to the reality men have lived with for decades.

The mixed signals comes from a conflict between our biology and intelligence. On hand hand we're still attracted to females and enjoy your company, on the other hand most men have become aware that any prolonged relationship is to our disadvantage and just makes life harder. So you'll keep drawing interest from men but they won't likely put any real effort into makkng anything happen, it's your turn now.

[Asker]

Thats not true since its proven that married men live way longer than single men

[Hanrej]

Correlation studies does not prove causality. There's no science behind marriage being the cause of mens prolonged living.

[Anonymous]

Not sure. There’s a lot of men who would like to be in a relationship, but most women don’t find a majority of men cute enough. Have you actually ever tried to find a relationship yourself? Pursued someone? I think by this age, the category you’re in, it has to do w something about you. What exactly is that? I don’t know. You need to really look at yourself. Do you work? What kind education?

[Asker]

What?

[Opinion Owner]

What do you mean what?

[Asker]

Your reply’s a bit confusing. Maybe word it better?

[Opinion Owner]

Basically I’m saying it might all be you.

[Asker]

Because?… anything constructive or helpful to add?

[Opinion Owner]

That’s why I asked about your education? Your job? Have you had issues w men growing up in your life?

[Asker]

….. huh? Forget it, you make no sense

[Opinion Owner]

This is probably part of the reason why you can’t meet someone, because you’re not that bright. I asked about your job? What do you do for work?

[Asker]

It’s funny because i was thinking you're either slow or English isn't your first language. What does my job have to do with anything?

[Opinion Owner]

lol you have no argument so now you’re trying to attack me cause I hurt your feelings. Poor baby. Lol this is also part of the reason why you can’t meet someone cause you have an attitude. Instead of listening you want to argue. Something men don’t like. Your job may have a lot to do w it. But it don’t matter cause you know better than I do since women tend to think they know what a real man would do. But I guess like I said you know better w your zero dating history. Keep it up, before you know it that window will have closed. You’ll be alone the rest of your life.

[Asker]

I dont think misogynists know how dumb they come off. You sound immature and illiterate.

[Opinion Owner]

There we go w misogyny. When all else fails throw that out even though most women have no idea what that means. I’m not the one who has to worry about being single forever. You just don’t like the truth of what men tell you. You want them to pander to your idea of what the truth is. Let me guess your mom is probably single too.

[Asker]

Bro just shut up already…. give it a rest. I already knew what you were all about with the first reply. You view women poorly. And i best you like em young as possible too. you're a weirdo.

[Opinion Owner]

lol you’re an idiot. Like I said you have no valid argument so you’re throwing personal attacks because people who lack education or can’t have a rational conversation resort to such things. You know I’m right about your mom. I’m right because it reflects in you. I came into this w good intentions to help co soldering my MHO is 44% in relationships, marriages, divorces, etc, but you decided you’re going to let your feelings control you. It’s probably best to get your first cat, or just get one from your mom.

[Rosexøxø]

You want to bring up mho? Mines 80
And I think you’re wrong and toxic. I also didn’t have to type it off as anonymous. You’re trying to use her vulnerabilities and project and paste your own trash on her.

She literally accused you of improper English, right about the part of your MONOLOGUE LECTURE of how to be a proper woman of yours- where she said

F • O • R • G • E • T

IT!!!

Leave her alone fool. If you don’t have to worry about marriage get back to your woman and children. If you don’t have to worry about those either get back to your hoes or your pretty boys

Or your hand!

And who knows you probably did anonymous cause you like to argue with others. Maybe you even get off to that. I only say this cause I can’t even block you and I KNOW you’ll just die to reply and try to have the upper hand. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong.

A lady’s career has nothing to do with chemistry. Or compatibility. She doesn’t have to support a grown male who wants to start a family or commit to a relationship.

She even asked what’s wrong with herself not even saying why are men dumb or stupid.

Some people have different types and some are jerks like you. That’s why she’s been unlucky until now. It can also be exposure. My sister just started dating again in her mid THIRTIES, and he has treated her like fine silk! The reason WHY she had unluck, was the lack of exposure and investment in her public communities or her communities revolved around her hobbies.

She’s also a single mom. He’s an engineer. So forget your nonsense of an anonymous opinion. Under 50%? That’s undervalued Sam.

[Maebo44]

Sorry, but I have to agree with him on this one. He was only asking you extra questions to get to know the full situation, so he could help you out. Even I got that and English isn’t my first language 😂

What you didn’t understand..
—> Have you tried to take initiative with men? Have you asked men out or are you just waiting for some guy to notice you and to take all the first steps?
—> Have you reflected on yourself? Could you be doing something wrong, without realizing it? For example: are you expecting too much on a short amount of time? Are you having fun on dates? Do you really want to get to know these guys you’re dating?
That kind of stuff.. Have you wondered why they’ve stopped talking to you or why that guy didn’t eventually take you for lunch?

[Opinion Owner]

@Maebo44 no one reading all that. Especially when one of your first comments goes right to toxic.

[Maebo44]

I can live with that

[Opinion Owner]

@Maebo44 my apologies.. I was trying to respond to the person who responded before you. At least you understand what I was trying to get at. Too many people ask for help, ask questions but then can’t handle what could possibly be the truth. Yes as you said I asked more questions to get a more in dept view of what’s going on.

[Opinion Owner]

@Maebo44 by the way I did read your post. I just wasn’t going to read the post before yours because one of the first things she said was about being “toxic.”

[LordMadara]

the end . . .

has begun

feminism

sexual deprivation hidden in LGBTQIs codes

you are only yourself to blame (along with the ruling elites)

men have been bashed for quite a while now that even the term rape is losing its appeal

WOMEN YOU HAVE WATCHED US SUFFER and to no avail you change your ways , its only gettin worse

the elitists are having a marry good time slowly destroying society 😂

they finally got it right after their failed attempts at destroying the sexual self of society through hoaxes like

AIDS

RAPE

ABORTION

STIs

etc etc

now they dont need the pharmafia to destroy the sexual & intimacy

they got media to poison the brain and cause widespread sexual dysfunction and competition btwn M&F

🧐

[bobby_bush_eater]

I feel for you on somewhat of the other end.

The "put yourself out there* things to find dating partners is tough because you never know what you're inviting but at the same time waiting for something "organic" can make you wait a long time.

As tough as it is all you can do is keep trying. Also be open with your expectations and goals for a relationship. That's really all you can do

[Pohjolan]

i just dont get whats so wrong with me? Whats so unappealing?

Do you just want to went or are you actually going to share some details?

For starters what's your BMI?

[Rosexøxø]

Will you shut the he ll up on that nonsense.

The right guy doesn’t care and she doesn’t have to share anything. There’s nothing wrong with her.

Everyone has a type and are you going to pretend that a lot of guys ARE into committing long term relationships of being nice or gentle to a lady? Cause you and I both know not a whole lot are okay.

Some aren’t even there yet.

But I can’t discuss with you. I know I’ll just get offended. You’re so wrong for asking that to her and not even trying to comfort her. I hope you avoid dm ing her cause I know you’ll try and play her for her emotions. Play it like a song huh. Well back off mister.

If you don’t care to help make things right give helpful advice or a word of encouragement. Share some TRUTH maybe, then don’t. Don’t even bother on this thread. Try another one.

[Pohjolan]

@Rosexøxø
" There’s nothing wrong with her."
How would you know? She is posting as anon.

"and are you going to pretend that a lot of guys ARE into committing long term relationships "
Actually statistically the majority of men are looking for a long term relationship. Fuckboys just go through more women so they seem more common than what they are.

"But I can’t discuss with you."
No one is forcing you to.

"give helpful advice"
How are we supposed to give helpful advice if we don't know the issue at hand?

"Don’t even bother on this thread. Try another one."
Or you are going to keep discussing?

[ProbablyClueless]

Because it's easy, low commitment, and kind of fun.

[Peridot25]

Kind of fun for who exactly?

[ProbablyClueless]

@Peridot25 Both people involved, I would think. The woman gets attention and doted on by someone without any expectation of giving something in return. The guy gets a little bit of entertainment by having a playful interaction with a woman he finds attractive.

[Rosexøxø]

@ProbablyClueless sadly right. It depends on both their definitions/ideas of fun, though.

Definitely a handful of unhappy campers along the way. That’s also due sadly to their focus. Maybe the focus of theirs and their attention should shift and be elsewhere. And those who also enjoy quick fun or so they can enjoy that.

[LaurenM1997]

I know how you feel I’ve been single for a long time now and got people saying the exact same thing it’s so frustrating

[Sasquach]

Attention is not attraction. You need both to make someone want to be with you

[Rosexøxø]

Fact.

[DrPepper12]

Are you to picky? What do you offer? Are you an impediment to breaking the ice? How are you finding men now, maybe change that?

[BarryLiverstone]

If he said you are nice it’s likely he wanted companionship.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Because we aren't sociopaths. Normal human interaction isn't a game and you are not entitled to our picks because we are polite.

[Anonymous]

The juice is not worth the squeeze. Why bother?

[Nikki1989]

I wish I knew men like that.

[jahaims]

For ego stroking/validation

[boobliker]

it down to... ... next time

[Jamie05rhs]

Not sure. Maybe you should push them a little.

[nawtee_me]

Do you want to have sex?

[mayurr]

Confusing

[Anonymous]

Tl:dr