How did you get over someone you're obsessed with?

Question

genericname85 · Accepted Answer

just time. i would say the "majority" of times when you're obsessing with someone, you're glorifying them. not taking a close look at the negative sides. and even if you do that, you're probably not taking a close looks at alternatives you have and convince yourself that there aren't any good ones. and that's mostly a good thing, cause otherwise you would probably not have gotten over yourself and take steps to get with them in the first place.

but i would say you basically gotta undo all the self convincing you subconsciously did and actively take steps to make yourself more aware of alternatives and the negative parts of that person. it won't work instantly of course. you have to take your time.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

It took time and space. That really does help. When it's a sexual obsession that can take some significant effort to get over, because if they're your type physically and you were intimate and the sex was good, then that can be a struggle to get over, yeah. If it's a romantic obsession that's a little bit easier, cuz later on you usually look back and you're like "Why was I so obsessed with then now?"

Really great question.

Cute_Miss_Laura · Accepted Answer

It just took the realization that no matter how much I loved him, he would never love me back, and that we were never meant to be together! Also the age difference was HUGE, and completely inappropriate! Elmo, was like 30, and I was only 6. Add that to the fact that Elmo was a monster, and I was a little girl. My mom told me that monsters and little girls can't get married! I was devastated, but time heals a broken heart, and it turned out okay, a week later I wanted to marry someone else!

Laura 🤗 🥰

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

You have to work on yourself through healing techniques cause the obsession is not about the person you are obsessed with, it's about your mental scars and wounds that cause you to fixate on an icon that absorbs your trauma through the obsession.

Rei13 · Answer

You cut contact with them and eventually you will lose interest in them. Also you should take an honest look at yourself on what caused the obsession with them to begin with and work on healing that

HollyK21 · Answer

Get to the bottom of it and ask yourself what started the obsession In the first place.

Avicenna · Answer

It goes away quickly on its own

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I tried to preoccupy myself by keeping myself productively busy.

However, just before I felt like I truly got over him, he returned.

We broke up numerous times.

When I felt like I was failing to cope without him, I also chased after him to win him back.

Roxy0050 · Answer

Time really does help - I guess the reason it is a cliche is because it's true. But it's important not to feed the obsession or do anything to make it flare up worse. So cutting contact really helps. Also starting a new hobby or finding a new interest really helps. Anything to take your mind of obsessing over the person.

If you are able to meditate or get therapy those could help enormously to speed up the process. Understanding whatever it is that feels like it is perhaps missing in your life, so that you can find a healthy way to add that into your life and find peace and balance.

jazzyjic78 · Answer

Relocated to another state for a while and stayed far away from them when living in same area. Started dating other people to assist with getting over them, but it's good to be honest with the person of what's going on with you at the moment so that they don't get attached to you while you're broken.

Because usually that person isn't the one you remain with long term and if you do it won't be a happy relationship. Unless you have love or in love with that person already and just have a light obsession for someone else.

KBird · Answer

Honestly, I started saying to myself "Why should I waste my time and emotional efforts on someone who does not feel the same way about me". This person is lucky to have someone admire them, but I too deserve to be admired. I applied this to my other relationships with friends and family as well. It has helped me to 'declutter' my life and focus on the people who really care about me.

If they dont want you the same way you want them, then it is their loss, and you can instead start spending your time looking for someone who will share/reciprocate your feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

I cut off all contacts and ties with the person. It was really tough and I was on the verge of losing my mental stability. Went through bouts and phases of depression as well as suicidal thoughts but I managed to overcome all that and am in a much healthy state of mind now. I still get the thought of the person but it is not like before and it’s been more than 8 years since I lost that person from my life but I never gave up on myself.

Anonymous · Answer

I totally feel you. Going through the same thing right now. I’m not acting on it , but it’s hard since he’s in my mind 24/7. The more you try to forget, the harder it gets. I do think getting to know him better might break down the ‘perfect image’ I build up. But yeah, don’t think I’ll see him again any time soon. And maybe that’s for the best. It’s annoying, but I have always in mind: “everything is temporary , so this crush/obsession will pass too”.

I’d say try some new hobbies to distract yourself or do/plan something you’ve always wanted to do but never took the time for? Goodluck!

SugarSugarplum · Answer

I date with intention. Any effort to hang on to something that is never going to work is a waste of effort. Whenever I think of a guy I was obsessed with, I say the words "Bad Match" in my head (or out loud if I'm by myself).

Putting emotional energy into a bad match is like throwing more and more money into a clunker. At some point you need to find a new, shiny thing.

HaleyWalker · Answer

I've had to deal with this on the other end someone who's obsessed with me that should be the real question how do you get them to leave you alone. Lol On the other side of it it's scary so I would do your best to think about that you're scaring the other person. Maybe not everyone but some people

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Block them on all social media, take time to focus and work on yourself, just think about how they aren't as amazing as you thought they were, and of all the times they probably said mean things to you.

HawkPerception · Answer

If she left me then she didn't see me as valuable to her. If a girl doesn't see me as valuable to her, then it's pretty easy for me to do the same. I get over my relationships pretty fast... like next day fast.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

My friend's older brother gave me some beautiful advice about situations like that:

"Anytime you see someone you think is perfect, just remember that someone, somewhere, is sick of their crap."

As soon as I recognized how true that was, it was easy to find new people to talk with.

2_beHappy · Answer

I don t remember exactly how, but I recall simply avoid thinking 'bout that person, and the magic did it s work.

HeartBreakDreamLand · Answer

the more I was obsessed  with him the more the freaking universe  kept coming after me with some  invasive unavoidable karma teaching me how to fuck off what I lost grip of and was never getting back

Altheavas · Answer

Just think of much of a weirdo you are, it’s unhealthy, reverse that as if it was you someone else was obsess with and how would you take it?

rienna888 · Answer

Only time can do that. You could remove yourself from the environment and try to fall for other people and focus on them instead. I'm still obsessed with a guy who used me for sex lol.

DishLady · Answer

I’ve never been “obsessed” with a person, but getting over someone in general is hard. I just took on a few projects to help myself stop thinking about the guy and find new bliss in something that makes me feel happy.

exitseven · Answer

It has been a long time but I used to allow myself to mourn the loss.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

obsession is toxic... work on this... in psychology the cause of obsession are not secured needs in childhood, so the best approach would be the therapy

Lalalove11 · Answer

I always just get an obsession with someone else... Or I confront them and if it's not fully reciprocated I can move on. That often happens..

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I don't think I've ever been obsessed with anyone, that word to me suggests an unhealthy fixation.

At3mis24 · Answer

I don't get over because it's only HIM. Never anyone else. I'm not able to fall in love again. I just live this in my dreams, that's enough.

normalice · Answer

I only had obsessions when I was a teenager. And without exception I got over each obsession by having a bizarre dream about the person.

Mr_twoface · Answer

Occupy yourself into work, social life and travels and give it time… eventually the obsession is long gone.

Logan-5 · Answer

Talking to them can do the trick. A few relevant adages: 1) Never meet your heroes. 2) Familiarity breeds contempt.

bannacookies · Answer

I don't know because I never have been. There's people I have thought about a lot that I liked, but, I'm a very busy person with work and all these hobbies, so it's usually pretty easy for me to move on.

Kreneman · Answer

I prayed first, I meditate on person flaws, and before I knew it, I realized I was over this person.

Miristheiss · Answer

You make your move and express interest or feelings. If you get no for an answer that helps you to move on to some other options.

Anonymous · Answer

I CANT😭😭 i try my hardest but i still fail to get over him

Minky17 · Answer

I got a roster so I could be busy with other suitors instead

molonski2 · Answer

Well firstly never be obsessed , completely and utterly unhealthy.

Sonorous · Answer

By remembering that a crush is just a lack of information.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I just tell myself I know I can't have her, and I tell myself that she's rejecting me.

he-takes-a-part · Answer

You won't you can't. It's just that other things cover up.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i am not obsessed with anyone even though i have ocd

Alex-Snow · Answer

I just try to move on and find a new relationship. As doors close... door open. Well masturbation also helps but that is obvious!

Massageman · Answer

Get out in the world and do something. Volunteer at a dog shelter, a food pantry, get a hobby, whatever. It will pass. Mine did.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Knowing that obsessing over someone is wrong was enough.

elizamichale1 · Answer

Well I hav no idea tbh... all I can say is time is the best healer

es20490446e · Answer

Seeing that you are attractive to attractive people.

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Make a list of all their negative qualities?

Yannae · Answer

I found important things to do. And seeing her age also worked.

Justneedtokno · Answer

Turn my obsessed into something else refocus on self literally anything else current situation

Kit_Kat88 · Answer

Think about what you want in life and that they could never give it to you

SunnyRS · Answer

I took my bike and got over them.  Nah jk.  I cut off all connections with them and gave myself sometime.

Anonymous · Answer

Not easy. Especially if you are the one who broke it off.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Cut them off cold!

Anonymous · Answer

I started dating her younger sister who was sweeter and had bigger tits

loveslongnails · Answer

I realize it's my problem, no one else's, then move on from it.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

I want to know too. There is a girl I know online only, but I can't loose feelings for her

OddBeMe · Answer

They usually gave me absolutely no chance so…kinda forced to.

DreamLife7 · Answer

You have mental issues see a damn therapist weirdo. Hopefully he files a restraining order

anongirl68987 · Answer

By moving on, you always meet better people and it’s even better if you’ll meet someone obsessed with you too

Lisafrank301 · Answer

Found a way I guess. Its not an exact science

Billlewis · Answer

You never get over them. You lost.

Apple1996 · Answer

Find a new obsession

strateguy632 · Answer

if obssessed impossible so need therapy.

RetroReviews · Answer

Just had to face reality

How did you get over someone you're obsessed with?

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What Girls & Guys Said

I just tell myself I know I can't have her, and I tell myself that she's rejecting me.

How did you get over someone you're obsessed with?

Most Helpful Opinions

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What Girls & Guys Said

I just tell myself I know I can't have her, and I tell myself that she's rejecting me.

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