Is it weird to post a lot about russia?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend who is half russian half turkish (i'm fully turkish) and we both grew up and live in turkey posts a lot about Russia, ofc i'm happy that he is really connected to his roots but his posts made me uncomfortable lately. He keeps posting some weird stuff about the war (back in the 20th century) and some things that are in russian that can't understand but it gives me creeps. I don't know a lot about history, correct me if i'm wrong but i think russia committed many massacres and was a dictatorship. We never talk much about this and i didn't want to bring this up, and also i feel like he's more connected to his russian origins than his Turkish ones and i remember him mentioning before we started dating that he wish he lived in his home country but turkey is also his home country, his father is turkish. Anyway he's a really nice guy, so sweet and calm, not violent or short tempered like russian guys are stereotyped for but this thing has been annoying me, we're actually not officially a couple yet, still in a situationship and sometimes i get this thought that maybe he would prefer to marry someone from russia who would understand him more and feel more connected to and it makes me feel like maybe we're not a good match. What do y'all think? Is he weird for posting those things and is it normal for him to be more connected to his Russian origins although he lives in turkey? And do you think he'll prefer a russian girlfriend for something serious?

Updates

+1 y

Guys we're actually from lebanon and live in lebanon and don't have anything to do with turkey, i just changed the country to keep my identity hidden and because i'm a bit paranoid he might ever find this question, and it's my bad i chose turkey without putting into consideration the past conflicts that can influence the viewers opinion

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is a tricky situation. It's totally normal for someone to be interested in and connected to their cultural roots, even if they grew up elsewhere. But I can understand why some of his Russia posts would make you feel a bit uncomfortable or insecure in the relationship.

A few thoughts:

- Posting about war/history stuff is fine, but if it's giving you creepy vibes it's worth talking to him about. See why that topic interests him so much.

- It's natural to wish you lived in your parents' home country sometimes too. But he chose to be with you in Lebanon, so I wouldn't read too much into that.

- Plenty of guys are into their culture without necessarily preferring a partner from there. But communicating your feelings could give you reassurance.

My advice would be to have an open chat with him. Let him know some posts make you wonder where his priorities are in a gentle, non-accusatory way. Good guys will want to understand your perspective. His reaction should give you a better idea of where you stand and how connected he truly feels to Russia vs. Lebanon. Try not to overthink too much till then - staying honest with each other is best for any healthy relationship. Hope it all works out for you both!

[Asker]

thank you so much for your answer, i just wanted to make somethig clear, he didn't actually chose to stay with me in Lebanon, he's here because his father is Lebanese and his family lives here, he studies here so it's not really a choice in here, and i'm actually worried if things ever worked out between us and we get in a serious long term relationship, he might want to move to Russia which is honestly something i wouldn't love to do

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, I can see why that would make you more worried then. If he didn't really choose Lebanon and might want to move back to Russia someday, that definitely adds another layer of uncertainty here.

I'd still say communication is so important. You gotta find a way to bring this up to him in a calm way, like "hey I've been feeling a little insecure just because of xyz, can we talk about it?" Hear his thoughts on potentially living in Russia long term. See if you can compromise, like maybe agreeing to spend some time there but keep Lebanon as your main home base.

Don't be afraid to let him know exactly where your comfort levels are too. It's better to get this out in the open now rather than later down the road when you're more invested, you know? If he cares about you, he should want to find a solution that works for both of you.

Hard to say how it'll really play out in the end. But at least by being honest about your concerns, you'll both be making any future decisions with all the facts on the table. Try to stay optimistic - there may be a way to balance his Russian ties with still calling Lebanon home with you. Just take things one step at a time and keep the communication flowing. You got this girl!

[Asker]

i talked to him and he reassured me that he loves both lebanon and russia equally he just feels some longing to russia because it's his country but he never got to live in there and he also told me that he's deeply connected to it because his mother engaged him in many activities organized by the Coordinating Council of the Societies of Russian Compatriots Living in Lebanon so this made him more attached to his russian side and about the posts he just thinks russia is an interesting country and with interesting past and he's just so invested in the politics, this made me kind of relieved but i still don't like the fact that he thinks putin is a great leader but it's his opinion so i just respect it

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah okay, that makes sense. Thanks for giving me the update after talking to him. I think it's good that you cleared the air about his feelings for Lebanon vs Russia - at least now you know he sees a future in both places and isn't totally set on just Russia.

And yeah, it makes sense that with his mom involved in Russian culture here he'd feel more connected to that side growing up. As long as his posts aren't like super disrespectful to other places, I can see why he finds Russia interesting from a history perspective.

And look, we all have different political views - maybe he just likes that Putin is strong leader, even if others disagree. As long as he respects your opinions too. At the end of the day, the important thing is how he treats you.

Sounds like this talk helped ease your mind some. Communication is key to make these situations better. I'd say just keep talking when anything bothers you, but otherwise try not to overthink the small things too much. Seems like you guys have a good thing going - focus on enjoying your time together!

[Asker]

yeah thank you and also now we are officially dating and so far he's the best boyfriend someone can have

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw that's so cool, I'm happy for you guys! It always feels good when you take that next step and make it official. And it's awesome that he's treating you so well - that's really all you can ask for in a boyfriend.

It sounds like you really hit the jackpot with this guy. As long as you keep communicating and being there for each other, your relationship has a great chance of going the distance. Don't sweat the little stuff too much and just enjoy your time together. He makes you happy, which is what's most important.

Thanks for sharing your situation with me - I'm glad I could provide a hopefully helpful male perspective. Wishing you both all the best in your new relationship! Feel free to talk to me any time.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

It seem your boyfriend have some national problem, sience he is not 100% from a country (acording to the blood theory) (for me he is 100% turk just by been born in Turkey).
But by the blood line he don't have a country so he should accept he don't belong to nobady. Because he is 50%-50% If Turky and Russia go to war again for who will he fight if his mom need to stay in Russia and his dad in Turkey? (It will be a huge dilema)

[blondfrog]

Well its strange and a miracle you two are even together considering Russia and Turkey's past in wars they had against each other in World War 1. Plus no offence you have no room to talk considering how many atrocities the Turks have committed. I can name a million but one that really comes to mind is the Armenian genocide of them killing 1.5 million of them.

[Asker]

to be honest it's not turkey, it's lebanon i just changed the country name because i'm paranoid he ever find this question and know it's me who asked, and my bad i chose turkey without putting in consideration the past conflicts that can influence the viewers opinion

[DryGermanGuy]

To me it would depend on what exactly he is posting. Is he just posting cultural tidbits for interested travelers or is he spreading militant Putinist war propaganda?

[Asker]

honestly i don't know most stuff is in russian and but it doesn't seem to be something just cultural (he does post few things related to russian culture and funny things about russian people), but the things that make me uncomfortable are some sort of political memes

[DryGermanGuy]

Well, you might want to run some of it through a web translator, to get an idea of what is going on…

[stvigor]

I, don't think so mother Russia like the vibes

[Anonymous]

He's a spy for Putin