Do you date people you meet randomly or do you have to know them a bit before?

[Anonymous]

It may sound like a stupid question, but I guess I’m always surprised at how people can see a stranger in public and go on a date with them right there and then, have that stranger in their house and their private life without knowing if they’re a criminal or something. Not only that, but they don’t even date for long, it’s like a fling. But I don’t mean it in a completely negative way, Perhaps it’s where I’m from and not every random person can be trusted. It’s great that In some parts of the world people can trust so easily.
But is there anyone here that absolutely cannot date someone they met randomly? I personally, have to at least be friends with them for a few months, get to know them a bit before I get them in my home lol, I enjoy group gatherings so my friends and his can mix and meddle. Once I gather that he’s a decent guy then I proceed to go out in a more intimate setting. How about you?

[MrOracle]

I met my current girlfriend at a friend's party, but I thought she was with the guy she came with, but that was her friend's boyfriend and the friend was in the bathroom. I saw her at a couple of other get-togethers before I realized she was single. The fourth time I saw her is when I really started talking to her, which led to dating. But she had been semi-vetted by friends in the first place as well, so she wasn't some random stranger that no one knew (nor was I to her).

I've long said that the best way to meet people that could possibly be a romantic partner is through your circles of friends. Usually someone in that group has known then for a while and will know about any major red flags.

[hahahmm]

It's not that I couldn't date someone I met "randomly" but I was totally uninterested in sex if I thought she ONLY wanted sex. This caused some issues for me because the vast majority of women I ran into were all about that. And the ones who weren't came across as boring because I had also been brainwashed to go looking for women who are the life of the party types or so attractive that every guy on earth is drawn to them. Just not a good match combination.

Imagine my shock when I found out a girlfriend I though was serious turned out to only really want sex too. But later on I got wiser and learned there's a deeper reason for it all and all is not what it seems too 😀

[Asker]

Hi, thanks for the response.

I understand completely. I’m glad that with time you were able to figure things out. I’ve been in similar positions but with people I know lol. Still not a good combination haha

[hahahmm]

Don't get me wrong tho.. I did find the right woman who was smoking hot looking (but also shy). So I'm not saying good looks is incompatible. Just that it's like a situation where it's only a part/small part of what's important and (I think) a lot of guys make the mistake of only going for the looks & never thinking about the other stuff like character till it's way too late. I wrote a bunch of mytakes on my POV if you're interested, check it out.

[Minky17]

I had an early experience with my first boyfriend trying to get me kicked out of my dorm by my dorm mother when I refused to get back together with him. It didn't work bc I filed a restraining order against him.

I can't go on dates with random people. Even outings with co-workers is pretty sketchy. I always ask questions to vet properly.

I don't waste my time on people I don’t align with and I especially don't go anywhere with people who have hidden competition or gaslight me into going with them.

[At3mis24]

I need to know strangers before taking it seriously. It's impossible to me having a date with someone I just meet. I prefer to take it to the friendship side before anything else. One is never too careful, we cannot know what is happening in the head of people

[sage2021]

I would have to know the guy first for a while. And maybe do some private investigating of my own.

Ask around about him if he takes you around people that know him. You should meet some during the "Getting to know each other first" stage.

[Anonymous]

No this is NOT a stupid question. This is one thing that has always confused me about women (or at least most the women on this site). And that's how many of them will not date a man they know too much about. That they need mystery to be attracted to him. I know men and women do not think alike but this comes off as very immature to me, and potentially dangerous.

I couldn't be attracted to a woman I knew nothing about. What is there to be attracted to beyond the physical? And if that's all you have you have nothing meaningful.

[Anonymous]

I do, but I'm not promoting this service, but I use such a one. That's even if I go out with them after I do a background check. Keep safe! If they have anything but violence, I'll go out. I recommend this service, but won't disclose. Violent people are a huge turn off for me, and I like to know what I'm getting into. Make sure to get their full name. If they lie, you'll know. Plus you get to see all their history in social media.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I pretty much have to have a platonic relationship with someone first. I can't fathom the idea or thought of just dating a random person. I find it repulsive and I just couldn't do it. It doesn't feel right to me.

[BonzoInBitburg]

I've gone on coffee dates with women after a 5 minute conversation and I've made them dinner for a 2nd date. I wouldn't waste my time waiting a week for someone to be ready.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I have to to know them, at least a month before dating. It feels unsafe to date a stranger, tbh.

[Nikki1989]

It has happened both ways. I met my husband while grocery shopping. My guy before him just randomly approached me at a train station.

[Princesspd]

I date people who I know for a bit, but I can sleep with people who I just met.

[Anonymous]

Have to know at least some details such as if he had any ex or girlfriend before I fall for him

[MacDaddyRico]

I hung with bikers in the 1980's, so it was the norm to meet new people daily.
But these days I'm a little more reserved... times have changed.

[DreamLife7]

Not a stupid question at all. Any man I've ever dated I've met them though someone I was acquainted with. I don't date strangers

[Arik_jade]

Depends on person.. if I found her as Good and like her, then yes I will date her

[Twalli]

I won't date anyone who isn't a friend first.

[Loner111]

Depends on different circumstances.

[In_Trance]

Random

[Guyaskgirls6969]

depends

[Anonymous]

I can date