I am 16 and dating with a man who is 23. Is he really loves me or grooming me?

Question

He always listens me and we can talk for hours. He never tried to do some sexual things. But i don't know, is he really thinks that we are soulmate (he says that he is so happy whenever he is with me) or he just want to take control of me? is this an abusive relationship?

_piotr · Accepted Answer

Current world is full of wokeness, where people will accuse men of grooming, just because he is older. If he is not doing any sexual stuff I do not see it as grooming. I think he can just like talk to you as soulmate/friend.

Of course you need to be on your guard, but do not be fanatical like those people in comments who judge him negatively just because he was talking to you. You can tell your parents about him for security reasons.

Nowadays even when father kisses his daughter people will shout - grooming. When a granddaughter is seating on grandfather's lap and listens to stories he reeds to her from a book it is also called grooming/rape! This is utter nonsense!

We are living in a anti-culture, which puts everything men do in grooming/rape/sexual assault sack without any bases for such judgement. This is awful.

There is also a possibility that he has fallen in love with you and is waiting for you until you will be 18, 19 or 20 to form a relationship with you. I don't see anything wrong with that, but feminists and woke people will shout their opinions surely.

Bricealan · Accepted Answer

Something really wrong with that picture. When I was 19, I had a girlfriend who was 16 and her mom and dad loved me and knew we were a 'match'

Sixteen and twenty-three is away off the mark and he would have nothing in common with a 16 year old

Puppystarfish23 · Accepted Answer

I get that legal in the UK but doesn't mean its right. A 23 year old should know better than to date a year old and it's giving vibes of dating younger girls because women his own age knows better than to date him.

Your only a baby and you still need lots of time to grow and develop as a person and shouldn't be in a relationship with a gut that age sorry its wrong men that age should be dating others around that age but dating a girl who still wears a school uniform and taking GCSEs.

He also said he want to control you sorry that don't sound right to me.

What does your parents think of this

sheenagwapa · Accepted Answer

if i'm that age in my country it is fourth-year high school, the last year of high school. we then have 4 years for college. 23 is already pass college so my mind would be if i am on her age the gut is already old. i am a very safe type of person but bot too aafe that I don't know how to figjt. that for me is dangerous hanging out that older when i am 16

the age gap is actually not bad if you reach 20 years old. anyway to answer the question does he love you? maybe. but me personally i would find him a creep.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

The minute you said “ he wants to to take control of me” that raised alarm bells of concern because I don’t want you to be in the situation where he’s controlling you it’s not a healthy relationship if he is doing that and you need to get out of it asap it’s not safe

4ngelic · Answer

he's sus. as a 23yo, anyone my age who's into 16yos is not okay and for sure has a mental problem. red flag. i can't say if he actually likes you for real or is just grooming you to be his future young manipulable docile girlfriend or sex partner. but regardless of wether he actually likes you, you shouldn't be talking to grown ass man his age. if you like older guys go hit up 17-19yos not someone 7 years older that isn't right in the head

Caroline91 · Answer

Question: Do your parents know about this relationship? If no one else knows, then you need to only see this man in public places. He has no business spending time with a 16 year old girl in private places. The difference in experience is major and even if his intentions are not inappropriate, being alone with you is. Unintended things can and do happen in circumstances like this.

CrabCakes11 · Answer

Ugh, this is disgusting. Please listen, this man is dangerous and is actively grooming you. What would a man 7 years older than you want to do with you besides groom you. Would you want to be with a 9 year old? That’s the age equivalent. He does not love you, he doesn’t want to “protect you” , he isn’t your soulmate. He’s a disgusting predator who wants to date a teenage girl because girls his age know better than to be around him. Please run

exitseven · Answer

I was 22 and dated a girl who was17. I sort of knew that maybe she was too young for me but I really felli n love with her.

I knew that we would not have sex because she was too young and I was okay with that. It really was not creepy and while it lasted it was a pretty nice relationship.

PBandJ_Nerd · Answer

I don't think a 23 yr. old should be dating a teenager. It'd be different if you were 18 or 19, but 16 isn't even legal. I would think he'd be wanting to date someone else in their 20s at least.

Daniela1982 · Answer

A guy that old should be dating someone his old age. Just my 2 cents worth.

lightbulb27 · Answer

as long as you have family support, friends, open communication and have your life... then he isn't trapping you. he shouldn't be dating a 16yr old... in my world, too young.

DishLady · Answer

Abusive? Only you can tell that based on what he’s doing to you. But he’s def grooming you for something — look up GIGI (1958 movie)…

summiter · Answer

Warning, warning... he wants to be more than friends. Just be very careful

handsomelad70 · Answer

He may THINK he loves you, but as you're underage, he's actually grooming you.

Anonymous · Answer

it's your life. why are you letting internet strangers dictate your life for you? he's doing what any normal boyfriend would be doing if he truly loves his girlfriend

SotiCoto · Answer

If he is grooming you, he is only 23 so he probably doesn't have a lot of experience doing it. Odds are he isn't.

Anonymous · Answer

Well he probably doesn't "love" you. You're 16 (no offense). But that doesn't necessarily mean he's grooming you. I'd definitely be on your guard. Ask yourself why isn't he dating a woman his age.

Juxtapose · Answer

Look you're not an idiot, you know that he's probably into you but he's treating you well and if you're careful then you might have a actual good guy on your hands.

Twalli · Answer

I don't think so. My girlfriend works with people who are in a similar situation except the girl is older, although I thunk she 21. The guy is the same age as you.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I mean... he might genuinely love you, but realistically, he's grooming you.

mickeysmonkey · Answer

Only time can truly tell, if you feel comfortable with him and he is not pushing sex, then he may be just a nice guy

Con29 · Answer

I think that is slightly different but if you’re both happy that’s the main thing

jjj101010 · Answer

Well it’s hard to know if he loves u, don’t know what ur relationship is like

Anonymous · Answer

Grooming. Until you are 18 don't date anyone more than a year older or younger than yourself.

Apple1996 · Answer

That's definitely grooming

In_Trance · Answer

how long have you been with him?

HurremSultan · Answer

If its legal where you are go for it.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like trolling.

Anonymous · Answer

He is a creep.

gorydetails · Answer

He is grooming you. You are a child.

Iron_Man · Answer

You’re under age don’t be doing that

LiamJHayden · Answer

Probably grooming.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Grooming. That’s rape in many places.

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Ya he should be in jail that's grooming

HelpfulWoman · Answer

girl. eww.

I am 16 and dating with a man who is 23. Is he really loves me or grooming me?

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