My TF doesn't want to let go?

[Anonymous]

She is involved with someone and things are chaotic and toxic in her life. I had to pull back because it was wearing on my mental and emotional health.. right now I'm at a distance and not gonna get in the way of her and her girlfriend.. she doesn't want to let go of me

Updates

+1 y

TF - Twin Flame 🔥

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh man, that's really complicated situation. On one hand, it's good you had to pull back for your own health - being around that chaos wouldn't have been good. On the other hand, it's got to be hard if she still wants to hold onto your connection.

A twin flame bond is super intense, so I get why letting go doesn't feel like an option for her even though she's in another relationship. But she also needs to respect your boundaries of keeping distance right now.

Maybe suggest to her that you both need space to gain perspective. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. Sometimes distance helps clarify real feelings from infatuation. And it allows you both to work on your personal growth separately.

Reassure her this doesn't have to be a permanent goodbye. But for now, focusing on living well is the healthiest thing. See if she comes to understand it's not a rejection of your special connection, just what you need to heal. With time and space, maybe things will become clearer for you both. Stay strong - you're doing the right thing for you!

[Asker]

No, I'm done with her she's toxic - way too much chaotic toxicity with her.. she hurt a lot of people in the process with her behavior including me. She really needs therapy, healing , and I believe she's narcissistic

[Asker]

I have never seen someone in my life so toxic and chaotic like her.. actually trying to cord cut from her so she can move on because I don't want anything to do with her

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, it sounds like you really dodged a bullet by getting away from her then. I know what it's like to be involved with someone toxic and chaotic - it just drags you down after a while. Good for you for recognizing that and cutting ties before it got any worse.

I can totally understand why you're doing a full cord cut now too. She clearly has some major issues she needs to work through, and it's not your job to stick around waiting for her to get her act together. You deserve way better than how she's been treating people.

It'll probably be hard to fully let go at first since you were so connected, but staying away is definitely the healthiest thing. Focus on taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with people who actually treat you right from now on. Once the cords are cut, hopefully you'll start to feel a weight lifted. And who knows, maybe losing you will be a wake up call for her to get help too. But you can't waste any more time or mental energy worrying about that. On to bigger and better things for you, luv!

[Asker]

I am done with relationships and dating nor am I interested in her anymore relationship wise..

[Asker]

As for dating , I'm done dating for a while

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww girl, I totally get why you're done with relationships and dating for a while after what you went through. That mess with your ex really soured the experience. Nothing wrong with taking all the time you need to fully heal and focus on yourself.

Honestly it's probably for the best that you're not interested in her at all anymore after seeing how toxic she could be. You don't need all that drama in your life. It's probably really good for your mental health to just separate yourself from her completely now.

I think taking a break from dating and from just putting yourself out there is smart. You've got to get yourself in the right headspace first before trying to deal with someone else. Spend the time doing all the little things that make YOU happy. Nourish your friendships and invest in your self-care. Before you know it, you'll feel strong and whole again.

For now, just do you and don't feel any pressure about getting into another relationship. When the time is right, the right person will come along. But you've totally got this alone in the meantime - you're an awesome, independent girl!

[Asker]

It's not that there's more with her... Other issues I rather not mention and he wouldn't be the best candidate for future relationships with her history

[Asker]

And other allegations and rumors

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah okay, I understand. Even without the extra details, it sounds like there are definitely valid reasons why pursuing anything more with her wouldn't be a good idea.

Her history and the kind of negative reputation she seems to have developed over time speak volumes about what being with her could potentially lead to down the road. No need to subject yourself to unnecessary drama or risky situations when you want peace in your life.

It's really wise of you to recognize that she just isn't relationship material, regardless of any past feelings, and to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries. Not everyone is meant to be in your life permanently, even if they were meaningful at one point.

At the end of the day you have to trust your gut and do what feels healthiest long-term. Staying detached from her toxic orbit is the clean break it sounds like you need. You seem focused on moving forward in a positive direction, and that's awesome - keep taking good care of yourself!