What can I do to make it finally let go?

Anonymous
I have wanted him for so long but it’s never the right time. Over the years he had asked me for my number a couple of times and I decline because I just didn’t feel it was the right time. We used to date freshman year of high school and even when we broke up I was hoping he came back. He tried to course but at the time I was just not ready because I knew he wasn’t going to be how I pictured in my head. However I am now a college freshman and I still want him so bad. The most recent time he asked he had a long time girlfriend I declined because I knew he was with her and I would not feel right. But imagine wanting someone since u were young anf not being able to forget them. It just grows and grows and grows. I want to let go but I can’t. I never told him how I felt we just share long stares at each other each time we see each other. Anyway I was going to reach out recently because I had heard they were broken up and had been for a minute they were cheating on each other. So I thought it was the right time for me to admit my feelings just to get it off my chest. But I hestitated for over three weeks because I was scared and then I see him tag her in a football post on social media. I was crushed because I just thought it was finally going to happen I would get this off my chest. But now I am just tired. I want to forget. I can’t walk around with this heavy feeling all my life. It’s been over 4 years and I still feel the same about him. I need to let it go but how?
What can I do to make it finally let go?
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