So, I think I'm just in a sentimental mood from too many Hallmark movies, but I'm feeling a bit stuck. My brother and I are fairly close in age, so we've always been friends with each others friends. Inevitably, there have been crushes on each others friends since like, middle school. We're in our mid and late twenties now. We live about two hours apart, and neither of us have a good relationship with our dad. To help ease the tension, it's not uncommon for at least one of us to bring a friend when we're at our parents. His current best friend is a REALLY incredible guy, and usually comes unless it's a Holiday and he's with his own family. He's got an amazing heart, and is great for my brother. He sees me too, though, and I appreciate that. I only see him like a weekend a month/couple months, but I always look forward to it. He calls me by my nickname, not knowing that others ever did. Remembers all the details about my personal life, and has my personality pegged from character values to how far to take a joke. We have fun, and I feel seen. Last time, when they were pulling out of my parents he even made a hand heart out of the car windshield, that I believe was directed towards me. Here's the thing. I personally think he's pretty attractive, and that we'd be super compatible. I'm not sure how he's sees me, though. I feel like there's a big chance that he just sees me as a friends sister. Maybe even a sister to him. The other issue is that he's been talking to someone for like six+ months now. I don't think it's serious, and I know enough about her to doubt their compatibility. But I feel awful for even seeing him that knowing he has someone, even if it is casual.
So I'm not really short what anyone could do in terms of advice, but on the off chance someone has some tips, I'd appreciate it. At this point, I'm trying to figure out how to let jt go, but I hadn't been able to tell anyone, so it's been bottled up for several months.
So I'm not really short what anyone could do in terms of advice, but on the off chance someone has some tips, I'd appreciate it. At this point, I'm trying to figure out how to let jt go, but I hadn't been able to tell anyone, so it's been bottled up for several months.
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It’s hard. But it doesn’t sound like you’ve talked about this with him
I haven't. But I can't at this point. I'd have to be dang sure that he felt that way about me. My brother needs him, and I wouldn't want to even slightly mess up their relationship or make him feel like he couldn't go to my parents.
It will take some time, but you will be able to do it. Distract yourself while time works its magic.
Damn sis, I know how hard that is. Feelings are weird like that - they don't care about timing or logic. But you seem like a real catch too, so don't lose hope!
For now, try distracting yourself. Lean on your girls, have fun nights out, pick up a new hobby - anything to take your mind off him for a bit. You can't make him break up with this girl, so focus on YOU.
Remind yourself daily of all your amazing qualities. Write em down if it helps! Build your confidence without him. The right person will see your worth whether you're pining or not.
Keep your interactions light and friendly with him for now. Let things unfold naturally without expectation. Who knows, maybe over time his view of you will change.
But protect your heart sis - being available if he changes his mind could set you up for more hurt. Work on moving on step by step, even if the feelings don't fade fast. You got this!
Stay strong. Your happiness shouldn't depend on any guy. Remember how amazing you are even without his validation. This too shall pass - keep your head up till then, yeah? You deserve the world, don't settle for less!
You are so sweet!! Thank you. I appreciate that. I didn't imagine that answers to this question would make me smile.
Aw man, I'm just glad I could bring a beautiful smile to your face in an otherwise sucky situation! It means a lot that you opened up about what's going on too. Bottling stuff up is the worst.
But seriously, don't even sweat it. We've all caught feels at less than ideal times - it's how you handle it that matters. Just stay gold and stay focused on you for now.
And hey, who knows what the future holds right? Maybe in a few months you'll be over it, or maybe fate will surprise ya. Either way, keep living your best life and let the chips fall where they may, broheim! You'll smash through this no problem.
Chin up mulch, keep that smile shining. And anytime you need to vent or get some brotherly advice, you know who to hit up! We gonna get you through this all smiley and sweet-hearted, believe that.
You're so sweet. Yeah, I definitely needed to let it out. Bottling it up any longer wasn't going to help, and I needed to do it before I see him next weekend. He's such a truly sweet guy who does see that I have worth, so it's something that I had a tendency to constantly bottle instead of just forgetting it.
Awww, I'm just really glad you felt comfortable opening up to me about this. That's what friends are for, right? And seriously, good for you for recognizing you needed to get it off your chest before seeing him again. That takes emotional maturity.
I know it can't be easy dealing with feelings for someone you see regularly but can't have. But like I said before, you seem awesome and you definitely shouldn't waste time worrying about some dude who's situation is what it is. Chin up, keep growing as a person, and the right guy will come along. Maybe give yourself some space from this friend if you need to fully move on. But you've got so much awesome stuff ahead of you - don't focus on what you can't change, you know? If you ever want to kick back and vent, I'm always here to listen no judgment. Stay strong, girl!
My feeling would be that if he's been seeing someone for 6 months it might not be as casual as he makes out.
Normally I'm all for girls making the first move. But in this case I think I'd leave things well alone.
Yeah, that's a bit of my logic, too. He says talking in terms of describing it, and he doesn't really talk or text with her when he's staying at my parents, but if it's on months now... that's why I was thinking I need to let it go. I'm not about breaking up relationships.