My boyfriend likes another woman and is attracted to her but it doesn’t seem like he’s considering ending things with me, what?

[dearryy]

[b_lova]

Liking someone and being attracted to them doesn't mean you want to give up on the relationship you currently have. In a long-term relationship that lasts for years this is sure to happen, the issue is how you direct those feelings and the actions taken because of or in spite of that will determine if the relationship continues.

I don't know how you know this, but I would suggest a conversation about what you see or know so that it isn't something hidden or locked in the back of his mind.

[AviatorTom]

I read most of the comments... Interesting that girls suggest breaking up with him while guys are saying he likes you and wants to stay with you.

I'm a guy. I also am of the opinion that he has you and wants to stay with you. As many women in my life have told me, there's nothing wrong with looking or even thinking about doing, it's actually doing that's bad.

[sheikalana]

If you know he likes someone else break up with him then. Have some self respect why would you stay in a relationship with someone who obviously wants someone else?

[EmmaMary]

It's about time you woke up and stop daydreaming. smh

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Avicenna]

I see women all the time I find attractive and would have sex with, but unless I'm single, I don't act on the attraction. We aren't blind, and we're human- it's actions that count.

[OlderAndWiser]

So you are content with being his second choice?

[Kelley1]

No one marries their first choice or else we would all marry movie stars which obviously is impossible. We all settle for who we can get or else we never marry.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kelley1 That is your rationalization. Settle in to a relationship and reality will catch up with you.

Yes, I have lusted for a few celebrities. But lust is not love and I never wanted to marry Natalie Portman or Jessica Alba. My wife is my first choice.

[Kelley1]

She may have been your first choice of girls available to you. That is because by your late teens, you pretty much know your level and you are not going to waste your time asking girls that are out of your league because rejection is painful. That doesn't mean you would not want them if you were a top one percent man and they were available to you. In that case, you would not have accepted your wife.

We all want the best we can get but men know when a girl is impossible to them so they rationalize and tell themselves they don't really want her. Men don't want to admit, I only married her because she was the best I could marry so they rationalize and tell themselves she is perfect for me.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kelley1 Experience will teach you what you need to know.

[Kelley1]

@OlderAndWiser You claim to have 30 years experience but you sound like you have one year's experience 30 times and that is no more valuable than my one year's experience.

[OlderAndWiser]

So you don’t like what i told you. That happens often when people ask for advice and then don’t get the response they hoped for.

Travel the road and you will learn whether you were right or wrong.

[Kelley1]

I never asked for advice. You stated your opinion, I offered a different opinion and we debated our opinions. You appear to believe you are right. I believe you choose political correctness over the less favorable truth.

[OlderAndWiser]

No one who knows me would EVER call me politically correct. That is just something you say to make you feel justified in dismissing my opinion.

[OlderAndWiser]

Did you respond to my opinion just so you could disagree?

[Kelley1]

Not just so I could disagree but I responded because I disagreed with the implication that there is anything wrong with being satisfied with being second choice.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kelley1 I would never be satisfied with being second choice. I may have lusted for a few female celebrities over the years, but I am married to my first choice. Anything less would not work for me.

If being someone's second choice is acceptable to you. . . it's your life and I have my opinions but I don't tell other people how to live their life unless then engage me in that discussion.

[Vegasrunner]

This is another example of women not understanding relationship dynamics and specifically not understanding the major differences between men and women of their demographic.

1. Simply because the boyfriend is attracted to another woman doesn't mean he can get her. U as a 20 something yro woman could get any guy that you were attracted to sleep w/ you, but its much more difficult for men.

2. Men don't break up w/ women, because most men understand how difficult it is to replace them so instead they just continue to add on. He's not going to break up w/ you even if he could bag the other girl.

3. The writer is mistaking sexal attraction with relationship attraction.

[Dongie]

I like that rationalizing.

[dearryy]

Update and this is worse than when I originwlly posted it. He has had sex with this girl, he has confessed deep emotional feelings for her to her but he didn’t say he loves her. He is literally risking everything we have with each other from our mental connection to our bodies being connected, considering we have been having sex with each other for a while now, he’s risking all that between us just to create these new moments and experiences with her. He plans dates and outings with her, he has been on dates and outings with her without my knowledge/behind my back. Him telling me that he just likes her was not the full truth. To add more to it, He works with her, meaning he sees her everyday. She doesn’t seem like just another woman he just uses to have sex with from time to time, or the woman he goes to when he’s upset with me or we have a falling out, he genuinely seems to like her. It hurts

[Dongie]

Fuck him girl, and I mean split.

[dearryy]

@Dongie It’s always easier to think or believe “Oh, she’s just a side piece. He doesn’t care about her. He only goes to her when we aren’t good at the moment.” But when you genuinely see your boyfriend literally does really like another woman to the point he’s stepping out with her and isn’t just having sex with her and has developed a deep care for this woman, it hurts

[Dongie]

I'd kick his ass if this were reversed for me, tho.

[Dongie]

And leave her cum stained ass with him.

[serious]

Probably it means he only finds her physically attractive from a distance and doesn't really know the woman as such (on a personality level). He may not actually have any deep interest in her.

Otherwise by now he would have broken up with you.

If he is still with you means he wants to be with you only.

[SotiCoto]

Why would he? If he has agreed to be with you and he still likes you, then what he feels about anyone else doesn't matter a mote if he doesn't act on it.

[DishLady]

What are you standing there waiting for him to dump you? How ridiculous. If you know about this just break up with the jerk.

[lightbulb27]

How much like wre we talking?
Kinda normal. But he has to secide to choose and commit to you else thats that.

[FreyaRed]

Did he say that? I would shot him in the wind

[JacobJordan]

That is called loyalty. He is attracted but he likes you more

[hahahmm]

Yeah, most women today don't get this concept. And if you think too deeply about why you won't like the answer.

[JacobJordan]

@hahahmm yup. If I was single I would stay single

[Fireguy17]

It's time you end it, then you won't have to wait for him to do it.

[Staximus]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/cSjqDir1r0Y

Tell him bye bye

[DextroShade]

She would be the side piece and you would be the main.

[KrakenAttackin]

@DextroShade. If he is a ballin' Chad she should be happy to be the main chick.

[DreamLife7]

The fact you're this weak and insecure is laughable. He's using you until he gets the woman he wants

[Twalli]

Guys can find multiple woman attractive without doing anything regarding it.

[RedInnocent69]

Of course not. He’s attracted to lots of other women.

[Anonymous]

Lol everyone wants a Adriana Lima but not everyone matches upto what she deserves

[spartan55]

And you know this how?

[exitseven]

Maybe he wants a threesome

[RingOfFire]

That sly dog! 🐶

[Dongie]

If he can get with her he will. Sorry.

[KrakenAttackin]

Elevate your game to keep his interest.

[Anonymous]

Sharing is caring.😆

[Anonymous]

Sorry talk to him

[Yannae]

What does he do?

[Cheerfull009]

Bluffing you