My boyfriend was in love with me for 4 yeats before we started dating, but now I don’t feel he’s very interested. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

We met in 2017 and were friends for 4 years before we started dating. He always says how much I mean to him and how much he loves me, but I don’t feel it in his actions. We’ve talked about it but I don’t think he gets it. This is hurting me deeply and I don’t know what to do. Feeling unloved by someone I love and making more effort than the other part is VERY hard for me.

[Anonymous]

Discuss with him first and tell him your worries. If you notice there is no changes maybe you can re considers the relationship.
Usually sadly some guys have to see the end to realize their mistakes. Maybe if you also act same as him being distant and act cold try to stay away he might notice it too and will try to “fix” the situation.
Also , always trust your intuition if you feel like this for long and will continue to feel as this for months than you can’t really push it to years it’s ok to break up. If you feel uncomfortable it’s not good , you deserve to feel love and loved.
I was in a relationship as yours year as ago I wanted the guy to show me more love badly. Even In messages it was so damn hard to receive a freaking “heart” emoji as this ❤️~ I used to wonder why ! Other guy friends will send it so easily. Relationship didn’t work out the guy back then was Un interested , but he never broke up with me. I did. Some guys stay in relationship just so they aren’t alone.


Your situation might be different though you guys know each other for 4 years so maybe he got comfortable with you ! He believes you know he likes you so in his mind maybe he feels like he doesn’t have to “prove” it. So In a way he is being lazy.


Well In the end you have to talk to him. Tell him
Exactly what you wrote here. It’s ok to Ask. We are talking about your life here.. it’s not a joke to waste time. So don’t feel guilty to ask. When it comes to your life be greedy. Because remember when a guy doesn't love you anymore he can drop you like nothing happened anytime. So yes you be greedy too.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your words

[Canuck37]

Life is full of mountaintops and valleys. You get to experience mountaintop highs when you choose not to give up during the valley lows.

Relationships work the same way. My wife could easily have left me when we were still dating, because we had a few rough patches; but we got married instead and things are now as great as they've ever been. We wouldn't have experienced the highs if we gave up during the lows.

This isn't to say that getting married solved everything. We had a few fights during our marriage as well. But we both know that we're fully committed to each other, and that helps settle us during our fights.

Do you love him? Do you trust him? Is he honest with you? Does he make you a better person? If you can answer those questions positively, then you've probably found the right guy. But sometimes guys go through valleys, and it's harder for guys to open up about their emotions than girls based on my personal experience. He might not even realize he's in a rut right now, but based on your description it sounds like he's there. Be there for him through this tough time, and he'll be there for you when it's your turn to go through bad times.

[Asker]

So I should insist in a relationship that has only shown me lows?

[Canuck37]

Has it been four years of lows for you? Really? That doesn't sound right at all. If you've given it a decent length of time and it's only been lows, then you should probably break up.

[horatiohornblower]

I'd say figure out what yours and his love languages are. He could just be showing it in ways you don't interpret as loving.

[kumaradit]

Create few situations where he has to come forward with his feelings.
Don't over expect anything.
Just see what he does.
Wait and watch is the best way to check the reality

[In_Trance]

have a conversation with him about it one more time

[emperor90]

I say leave him