Does this mean that my boyfriend is not attracted to me?

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Last week, he told me that he wanted me to be spontaneous. Today I decided to wear a pushup bra with an unzipped sweater and panties only and he said “why are you wearing that” I ran away trying not to cry. He said that he didn’t feel like being intimate with me because he worked a 10 hour shift, wasn’t clean, and didn’t eat he also said that he got into trouble at work because I was calling him. I was thinking about surprising him all day so I felt so bad I still do.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh sis, I'm so sorry that didn't go how you hoped. From what you described, I don't think it means he's not attracted to you at all. A few thoughts:

- Guys can really vary in their moods and energy levels day to day. A 10 hour shift sounds exhausting - he was probably just wiped out.

- Jumping right into something intimate without any lead up can put pressure on a guy too. Spontaneity is great, but some warm up is needed sometimes.

- Plus saying he wasn't clean etc. makes me think his mind just wasn't in the right headspace in that moment to fully enjoy and appreciate your surprise.

- Don't take it personal! I seriously doubt it has anything to do with not being into your looks. You went to such effort to surprise him - he's lucky to have someone so committed.

My advice would be to talk to him, let him know how his response made you feel, but also listen to understand where his head was at in that moment. Then plan something romantic for when you're both rested and ready. Reassure yourself sis - this one incident doesn't define your relationship or attractiveness. Keep your head up!

[Danny_dan92]

Fucken hell. This relationship is falling apart

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

What makes you say that?

[Danny_dan92]

It’s obvious isn’t it?

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Because he asked what i was wearing?

[Danny_dan92]

No, because of everything he’s been doing/saying

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

I don’t know what to think the dude is very skinny always tired just came from work had a bad day I don’t know

[Danny_dan92]

What does his physical stature have to do with his behavior?

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

So how bad was his reaction?

[Danny_dan92]

Little one… It was bad

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Can you explain more and what it means?

[Danny_dan92]

He’s losing feelings. I don't know how long you have been together but sounds like the honeymoon phase is LONG GONE

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

It’s been almost 4 years. Are you sure that he is losing feelings? We had an argument yesterday and I ended up saying that I wished that I was single because I was so embarrassed and I was crying he ended up ignoring me because he was upset about what i said about being single and left then i got beyond pissed by his cold treatment so I called him to tell him that he was a terrible boyfriend and that I wanted nothing to do with him. He came over and we talked it out and we’re okay now but I’ve never gotten that angry at him. All I could say is that he used to wipe my tears for me when i would cry now I don’t know he’ll just walk out on me crying because he doesn’t want his food to burn.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

After our argument he came and gave me a bunch of kisses and said that he couldn’t imagine a life without me

[Danny_dan92]

I have been in relationships like yours.

Tbh from experience I would give you advice with two options.

1. Stay and be miserable in the long run.

2. Rip that band aid off now, be hurt and sad by ending the relationship now. And eventually recover.

[Danny_dan92]

The choice is yours. If you stay you’re going to have many many many, ups and downs. These instances of arguments and shit aren’t going to stop. Hell they might even get worse

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

We never argued before like this. In those relationships were you the one that fell out of love?

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Is my relationship really over emotionally? He’s my only best friend

[Danny_dan92]

You never argued like this before? Oh man… yeah the outlook does not look good honestly.

A bit of both. Of my 4 relationships two where toxic. And the feeling is basically mutual. Trust me, if you have the thought in the back of your mind of ending the relationship best believe he’s having the same thoughts.

So, if he’s the one that ends it. While you where patient and trying to see if things get better, your heartbreak will be immense. You’ll be devastated because you had the opportunity or opportunities to end it. But chose not too in the hopes things improve

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

When I said that I wanted to be single because I was so embarrassed (about the incident I was also crying) I explained to him that I didn’t mean that I wanted to be single I was just upset and embarrassed. He got so upset at me and didn’t even hold my hand touch me nothing because of what I said and as soon as the show ended he just went up and left. That’s when i lost it and called him and yelled something I've never did before he ended up yelling too and we also went back and forth texting he later came back and gave me a hug and kisses saying all those sweet things that I told you and that I hurt him even if I didn’t mean it. We’re supposed to move out together by July and get married

[Danny_dan92]

Not looking good

[Anonymous]

So basically you're upset because he wasn't in the mood one time.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

What is your name?

[Opinion Owner]

Why lol

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Well what is the first letter of your name? Just making sure that you’re not someone

[Opinion Owner]

My username? "S" is the first letter.

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

No the letter of your first name

[Opinion Owner]

My name is James lol

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Do you think that he’s losing feelings for me?

[Opinion Owner]

No. But he might if you're going to take it personally every time he isn't in the mood.

[spartan55]

Wow, everything is about YOU YOU YOU... 😂 😂

[ISFPCaramelPrincess]

Do you think that he’s losing feelings for me?

[spartan55]

Good lord STOP BEING SO SELFISH. If he loses interest it will be because of your behavior, not your looks.