Why do I still think of this guy from my past, even if I love someone new?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t even date this guy from my past…but there has always been something there…unrequited but still some kind of connection. We met about 8 years ago at work but even over the years we haven’t lost touch.

He didn’t feel like I did and he admitted he’s married, and got annoyed when I unfriended him. I moved on and met someone who I love, and I want a life with him but I can’t ever let go of the guy from my past.

It’s very hard to let go, painful even…I wonder if I built it up so much in my head, but my heart always said he felt the same…and I feel terrible for the man I’m with now because I shouldn’t feel this way.

How do I let go of this guy from my past?

[jazzyjic78]

Number one he's married, so definitely let it go... You don't want those problems. Figure out what it was about him that turned you on so much and maybe that's what your current guy is missing. Perhaps it was just compliments and communication 🤷🏾‍♀️. Sometimes the guys we date lack these things and we look for it in another man.

There's also a thing called "Soul-tied" your ties to him and don't even know why it's a spiritual wickedness relationship that you have to un-tie your self from especially in this situation. There's something in you that tied you two that he wants from you. He probably doesn't want you literally in a relationship, but you possess something awesome or amazing and he sees it and wish it was in the potential woman that he really loves and wants to be with.

Find out who you are and destined to be and don't let nobody steal the gifts, talent's and blessings that God gave you. I speak from experience women are the same they will rob you of every good thing God has instilled within you. People these days will steal life, health and strength from you.

In this case the man wants his wife to probably have your looks, smile, attitude, shape, health, knowledge you just never know what it is they want from you without prayers 🙏🏾😇. Women will take life from your womb, your looks, your shape, your vagina if you let them to hold on to their man cause they can't please him. They will hang with you and strip you down if you let them.

I know exactly what you're going through, make it work with your current guy because if anything is meant to happen with you and the other guy he would have been single to begin with.

[SugarSugarplum]

He's a bad match. Every time you daydream about the fake, imaginary him that isn't married and rushing into your arms, think about it: you're in love with a fantasy person, not the real him.

OR

You can think about the fact that if he DID change his mind, you'd break up his marriage and he'd lose half his stuff AND he'd always have that connection to his ex and her family to contend with. And the alimony payments.

[Asker]

Thankyou, very helpful and just what I need

[serious]

If you still thinking about this guy from your past then it is not a good sign at all for your current relationship. The guy from your past is married right? as you said yourself so you don't have window of opportunity left either where you can think about ending your current relationship and pursuing your past guy.

Hence you need to get rid of your own feelings. You need to think about your present and future. If you want take some professional help, like a counsellor, a therapist or a relationship or dating expert. People who are experienced and certified to help you deal with this. Eventually you have to learn to control your feelings

[AviatorTom]

Everyone has memories, some of them good, some of them bad. Remembering someone from your past is not necessarily bad, unless you fixate on it and it affects how you act in the present.

If that's what's happening to you, it's best to concentrate even harder on your current relationship, and that may not be easy to do.

Best wishes.

[Asker]

Great answer, thanks for the help

[DishLady]

Yeah you’ve def built the past guy up in your head, esp since you never dated. Time to let the guy go completely. The “block” has to be mental not just social media.


Talk to a professional about it as well. There may be things that are holding you back and aren’t included in your description.

[Asker]

Thanks, it’s helpful to get that clarity

[Anonymous]

You didn't get what you wanted. So it's like an open wound. Guys do this with some women to. It's best to move on. You made the right move. There is no perfect partner, perfect love, only people that make the effort to love you. And there's no sense looking back. Trust that God put the right person in your life and move forward.

[avery58]

Because you haven't stopped talking to him. Tell him that you just want to focus on your relationship and that you feel it's time to cut contact.

[exitseven]

I imagine a lot of people do it. I have been happily married for a long time but I think of a girl I knew evertmy time I go someplace where we went together

[Fireguy17]

It's kind of wondering what if?
Where would my life be now if only type of situation.
Pretty normal.

[RingOfFire]

Reality can never compete with fantasy.

Fantasy lasts forever as long as you don't make it your reality.

[lightbulb27]

Feelings come from childhood emotionally impactful events. Your sub conscious is familiar with his behavior. Whether its good or bad we dont know and may never.

[MikeTheBartender]

We all think about people from our past. It's normal.

[ProbablyClueless]

You're stuck on the "what if" question. It's a sort of fantasizing.

[Theodoricus]

It's simple. Just burn old diaries and open a new page. Don't look your back.

[strateguy632]

that is just memories do not battle against your nature, remember and move on.

[noohair]

I find living in the past unhealthy, I can't grow in the past.

[Joshgag2000]

Sounds like you don’t even like this new guy why waste your time

[sheikalana]

You’re not entirely over him.

[DreamLife7]

The guy from the past isn't looking for you so 🤣 I don't know why ur thinking of a man that doesn't want you

[Asker]

Hence the ‘unrequited’…I don’t know why either

[DreamLife7]

You lack self worth . any person that loves and respects themselves would not be doing this

[Asker]

That’s true 🥺

[Cheerfull009]

Renew your relationship again with that person

[Asker]

He did apologize for his anger when I unfriended him, we have been friendly since but that’s all