Will we ever get to the point where women are just as likely to approach men as vice versa?

[OtterMan68]

For years, I've heard it asked "should women make the first move," and you see it asked here. Will we ever get to the point that his question is no longer asked, and it's just assumed either gender can and will make the first move?

[pepper1993]

Probably not. The reason women don't usually approach men, is that they often don't have to. Like yes I'm sure there's plenty of times a girl sees a guy she's interested and makes the first move. But there's plenty of more times, where a girl gets attention from multiple different guys and she just goes with one of them. Approaching someone is hard, so if they come to you, wouldn't you do the same thing? I jokingly say this to people but it's kinda true: guys need to FIND a girl, a girl just needs to lower her standards enough. OBVIOUSLY everyone is different and blah blah... just my opinion, and I'm just saying that's why girls typically don't make the extra effort to approach a guy.

[Radiate143]

When men stop assuming that a woman who approqches them forst is DTF and qcts loke she's only a good time and that's all, women may approach more.

[Avicenna]

Yes, especially considering that approaching someone these days often doesn't require physically approaching them.

[blueonblack22]

In short, no. This will never happen.

Many women have an innate fear of looking “desperate”, too easy. They also are generally much worse at taking rejection. The outcome terrifies many of them.

Men however are told that no matter how much it hurts or how rude the woman was to “move on”. Told to let it roll off if their shoulders and suck it up. Told it’s the woman’s problem and her loss. But women are usually given more “comfort” when they are rejected like it’s never supposed to happen.

However some women who were already naturally bold are getting more bold because there is less societal pressure on them to be “lady like”. They are just being themselves. Also other women who were on the fence about approaching men find that they have to now.

Fewer men are approaching women nowadays given all the extensive damage modern feminism and movements like #metoo has done to society. Also women have gotten generally more rude at how they reject men. Not all. But too many. So no wonder men are backing off and leaving the ball in the woman’s court.

[WindAtMyBack]

The first two dates I went on the girl approached me. The first tine was 1970. That was 54 years ago. It was not a big deal then, and it shouldn't be a big deal now. I think it was probably more common then than now.

In 54 years a hell of a lot has changed. But most women still wait for men to make the first move. Even most women who say they are willing to approach the guy usually wait for him to make the first move first.

I can't predict the future, but the last 54 years don't give me reason think it will change any time soon.

@Women - if you are interested in a guy, go for what you want. There is nothing wrong with it. It won't make you look desperate. What it will do is give you a chance for something you want in life.

[mobiusforniner]

Someone who wants women to approach them immediately reveals several key things about themselves:

1) it shows an inward resistance to changing oneself (get out of the comfort zone and take a risk)

2) They want quick results with the least amount of effort (she makes the approach for something they want).

3) They fear rejection (can’t handle if she says no)

None of these attributes makes a woman feel this is a man worth her time. If someone’s having issues attracting or approaching women, rather suggesting women should come to them- well, maybe they should start here first.

[Serkee]

Could the same not he said about women who want men to approach them?

[mobiusforniner]

I can’t control what women do. If she determines approaching me is what she wants, that’s her choice. I’ve in fact had several women approach me to flirt and start relationships, so it’s not entirely unheard of

But if you want something, then you make the steps to get it. No amount of blaming or complaining of unfairness makes your dreams a reality. Since when do men complain about something being unfair? Wait, we don’t. That’s what whiny little boys do

[Serkee]

True, but I don't see anything wrong with wanting to be approached either. Who says wanting something means you're blaming anyone or complaining about something being unfair?

[mobiusforniner]

@Serkee that’s the whole premise of this question- to highlight a perceived injustice in how men must approach women first.

Also, I notice a lot of guys on this website lament about a lack of “traditional” women. The irony is that a traditional woman will wholly expect men to approach them because that’s how the cultural norms were established for her. We can’t blame “woke” or “feminism” and yet want a traditional woman at the same time. It directs the problem away from the source, which is a deficiency in one self.

It’s

[mobiusforniner]

*want a traditional woman to approach first.

[moviedude714]

Yeah I've long been under the impression that men are the only gender that were meant to deal with unfairness more than women are as in women are allowed to complain about things being unfair in their life but men are not because women will have people coming to their rescue and aid but men won't

[dragoblack]

From my experience, women hate being put in the position, where they have to deal with the same issues guys deal with, when approaching women and trying to think of what to say. They hate that kind of effort.
It's why the dating app "bumble" (which is known as the app, where women have to message first), changed it's playform to allow men to message first. Bumble did a survey, to see women's viewpoints of the app and they replied with "i hate being the one to make the effort of thinking of what to say first." (then I'm over here like "then why did you even sign up on bumble? It's what the app is known for!")
Simply put, women absolutely hate dealing with the male struggles of dating, but won't reflect on that experience, to change that aspect.
NOTE: That's not to say all women are like that. Some do make the effort.

[Serkee]

The thing with bumble confuses me a bit. Wasn't that the entire point of Bumble, and what set it apart from the others?

[dragoblack]

Yep, but apparently the women who signed up, didn't realize they had to message first, then complained about it.

[HawkPerception]

I think some women are waking up and realizing that men have it harder approaching women nowadays and are taking the lead, but it's really not in women's nature to be confident and assertive, so I doubt that this will ever be fully normalized in society.

[Hunter242]

Yup true

[NathanDavis]

in my experience... we're already at that point

women do usually approach me as much, or even more than I have to approach them

the interest, the intrigue and the effort goes both ways

might not be the experience for others, but it sure is there for other people, and I know for sure I'm not the only one either

[MikeTheBartender]

No. It's our duty as men to make the approach. 13 years behind the bar, it was so rare to ever see a woman approach a man. Nowadays it may happen once in awhile, but it is still the rarity. Especially this generation how they are more ingrained in cell phones and digital communication. Their ability to approach in person is Slim to none. If you want to say maybe they will DM you okay.

[JHAYES317]

Women do approach men…but only if the men are attractive. That’s how you know if you are attractive or not…your grandmother or mom could tell you that you are handsome all they want, but if women aren’t coming up to you, you aren’t desirable. This isn’t ego lol…women don’t approach me either haha.

[bolverk]

No - women will never be as likely to approach men as they will not willingly want to face the kind of rejection that men have had to put up with from Time immemorial.

[Anonymous]

if this does happen, only a small handful of guys would be getting approached

[CrabCakes11]

Probably once men stop being so insecure about it. I made the first move on my boyfriend

[Serkee]

I've never heard of a man being insecure about that, everyone I know would love it if women would approach them

[CrabCakes11]

@Serkee Lots of men think a woman who approaches men is “too aggressive” or that they’re taking in the feminine role if the woman approaches them, not to mention proposes

[Serkee]

I've heard people say men should be the ones to propose, yeah, but I've heard that more from women than from men. I've honestly never heard about a guy being upset about being approached by women though. Are you sure that's not an assumption on your part?

[CrabCakes11]

@Serkee No it’s not my assumption. I originally figured that men would be pleased by a woman approaching them. It was stupid of me to assume that all men would be rational people. I hope men who don’t kid being approached are the majority

[Serkee]

I promise you they are the majority, most men would be thrilled to have women approach them. Men will ride the high of a single compliment for months, being approached by a woman will send us over the moon. I'm sure if you ask your boyfriend he'll tell you the same, you probably made him feel on top of the world.

[CrabCakes11]

@Serkee I sure hope so!

[TheSpaceGnome]

For me its always been the woman who approaches.
I always turn them down though, I don't date strangers.

Most of the female friends I make end up hitting on me as well, but none of them have been a perfect match yet.

[Unit1]

unless you count transwomen.

Women will almost never do that. Its too scary, they're too pussy, too lazy, too entitled/proud, were raised incorrectly, where they were shamed for asking out the boys ... and its not good to say the least.

[paledreams]

I don't think it would be as good as it sounds - remember women come in all shapes and sizes and temperaments and types and a lot more now with modern tech, trans etc

[paledreams]

A man may find an aggressive woman hitting on him as a role reversal a real wake up call 🤙🏻

[RebelinSteel]

Girls do approach guys, a Friday night out in town and you see it, experience it. That has been a thing for years.

[Drewtate]

If you are a high quality man women will approach you.

[mobiusforniner]

This is very true. I don’t think women should be expected to approach a man, but if you’re a man worth your shit you’ll find women do naturally approach you

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Yes however the girls probably will have pickles.

[LiamS95]

In my experience that happens now, but to be fair maybe that isn't happening for everyone and thats probably what you meant for everyone. .

[Knightwatch27]

Why would we want that? It's only healthy and natural for men to pursue. Women have some work to do on actually being inviting however, if they're interested rather than playing mind games.

[FunkyMonkee]

We're almost there. The only thing holding that up is "you"!

[Anonymous]

No, we won't, because women are too cowardly and/or entitled to put their egos at risk. The only time women approach men are in their fictional stories online.

[CrabCakes11]

Imagine admitting women rather want imaginary men than you

[Juxtapose]

@CrabCakes11 I mean to be fair imaginary people are going to be way better than real people because imagery people don't betray you or any of that shit.

[CrabCakes11]

@Juxtapose a healthy, real partner beats any fake person

[Juxtapose]

@CrabCakes11 the type of person I saw in my dreams and how they made me felt has never been replicated. In that dream world they never betrayed me and they loved me with the same intensity I loved them. It was euphoria beyond description, beyond any type of drug or natural high I have ever experienced.

What real person could be that loyal and that loving? The closest equivalent I can think of is my mother and of course that is platonic instead of sweet home Alabama.

[moviedude714]

I highly doubt it though I'm sure it'll still be this way even a full Century from now or a full Millennium from now

[Goahead76]

I think so given some time. I think the high rate of rejection that comes with that is what won't be handled well.

[Anonymous]

No, because they would seem easy and desperate. Also, many of them are not attracted to a man before he approaches, but only after they get to know him

[Emmytexrex]

We are in that Generation now a lot of women approach until I run away

[Joshgag2000]

They do approach men if you go to an event during the evening you will find all sorts of women approaching men

[Serkee]

What sorts of events are you going to?

[Joshgag2000]

@Serkee If there is a festival or a concert you will find a bunch of women approaching men.

[LaurenM1997]

I approach guys

[LiamJHayden]

Maybe, but probably not soon.

[IHateBeingaMan]

probably never, just doesn't seem possible

[DextroShade]

No, it won't.

[Twalli]

Probably not