Should I stay with my boyfriend if I don't love him as much?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is the best guy i have ever dated he makes all the efforts and loves me a lot which is why i said yes to him.

It has been a year since we started dating and i have to remind myself most of the times to reciprocate his efforts it's like a task for me and it does not come naturally as it used to with my first boyfriend. I love him tho but he love me more and i am not able to reciprocate that much efforts and love.. recently i have found myself being irritated coz he shows too much affection but i hide those feelings from him.

I don't want to loose him but i feel bad cos i don't treat him as well as he does. I think his looks embarrass me sometimes from posting a picture with him but i love his nature and personality.

Should i leave him so he could find someone better or should i stay with him and try to love him more... it will really be hard for him to move on and i don't want him to go through such pain neither do i want to loose such an amazing guy.

Stay

Leave

[AviatorTom]

I fail to understand why so many people keep talking about loving too much, not enough or more than loving another.

Don't people realize love doesn't work like that? You either love someone or you don't. Trying to quantify love is impossible, yet people still try to do just that.

[Asker]

I meant.. that he just fell in love with me when he saw me for the first time and started making so many efforts.. i developed a soft corner for him because of the efforts he made not that i loved him... i love him as a person but i don't have passionate love for him like he does

[MisterWack]

Stay, but be honest with him so you can work it out properly. If my girlfriend told me that I would work it out, I know she would do the same for me. Yes he shows more love than you however maybe she should try to make your level so you can keep up / not feel sorry. He obviously loves you and you love him just struggle a bit trying to make his energy. That is all, so please work it out and know everything will be fine.

[Asker]

Wanted to hear this.. thankyou

[MisterWack]

You’re welcome, happy to help people out.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been in your shoes. I decided to tell him up front but I promised to make an effort to match his energy, it just didn’t come naturally to me but eventually I got used to it. I did realize tho that I wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of my life with him so eventually we broke up (he was the one that broke it off).

[Asker]

So do u think it is a good idea to stick around and try to match his efforts?

[Opinion Owner]

Depends. Are you willing to match his efforts? If not then there’s nothing wrong with you leaving either. It’s not unusual for something like this to happen I hear, it’s great that you’re self aware and is seemingly willing to find a solution. Just know that there’s no wrong answer here.

I personally decided on my own that I wanted to give it a go, and I didn’t regret it one bit. As soon as I realized that I know I wouldn’t be able to keep it up for the rest of my life I let him know and let him decide on what to do.

[Billlewis]

Your situation is actually quite common, in that he obviously loves you much more than you do him. Although this would seem to portend problems, it may well help prevent things from going awry. Why? Because you're less likely to be on edge, or apprehensive. After all, if you're not that crazy about him, you may not work as hard to please him as he labors to keep you happy. You'll probably receive considerable pressure from the morality police, but just ignore them. Good luck!