Do you date to marry or just to be with the person that you love?

[Anonymous]

I know some people have the end goal of marriage when it comes to dating. Me personally, I date because I want to build a closer more intimate and romantic relationship with the person I’m interested in. I don’t really care if we get married or not, I’m just going with the flow, if he ends up being “the one” then I’d consider marriage but other than that I usually just want to be with them for the sake of being with them. I don’t feel like I’m wasting my time either bcs the time was well spent getting to know that person, whether it ends in marriage or not. What about you? Do you date to marry or do you date just to date them?

To marry

Just to date

No end goal, just going with the flow

[OlderAndWiser]

"Going with the flow" sometimes means that you just do what others around you are doing. It can also mean that you enjoy the present without concern for the future. When you say, "I don’t really care if we get married or not, I’m just going with the flow," I interpret that to mean that you date without being constantly concerned about whether you are headed towards marriage, but you are open to marriage if you find the right partner; i. e., no pressure, let's just start out seeing where this goes.

That is the attitude I have had for the past ten years when I was dating.

[Asker]

Couldn’t have said it better myself. You basically described my mindset down to a T! It’s all about being present and enjoying their company/getting to know them without the pressure of working towards marriage

[edmwarrior]

My end goal is to grow old with the person, whether that’s marriage or not. It’s a waste of time to me if it doesn’t end well, especially because the older you are, the harder it is to date and you may just end up dying alone

[Asker]

Very well said, I also want to grow old with my “person” - married or not. Just bcs you’re not married doesn’t mean you’re not committed to them

[DishLady]

Presumably dating is designed to suss out the person you want to spend your time and life with. Whether that leads to a live-in/SO commitment or a marriage/SO commitment is up to the individuals. What passes for dating today (the friends with benefits, the one-nighters, and all the narrow-minded, short-term stuff) is sort of like what passes for sound government in 2024...

[Asker]

You’re on point. It’s kinda scary how low the standards are for marriage or long term commitment tho… explains why divorce rates are so high

[DishLady]

It’s bc gold do the dating part with the wrong motivation (or in some countries the dating isn’t permitted without a slew of other things so the couple is suffocated while dating and don’t really get to know one another. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[DreamLife7]

At your old age you're wasting time and no one will ever marry you because you're too easy and sound like a pick me. A man will marry the beautiful , secure woman with intellect and confidence. You're insecure and your biological clock is ticking. I think you're using what you're saying as an excuse for you being rejected

[pethouse]

Whoa that’s rude

[DreamLife7]

@pethouse the truth isn't pretty hun

[pethouse]

I hope you become better

[DreamLife7]

@pethouse I home you become less sensitive

[pethouse]

I home you too buddy

[DreamLife7]

Yeah cool ur weird

[Asker]

Valid point. I’m taking it slow with my man tho, we’d like to wait until we’re closer to our 30s to get married. My parents got married pretty late (32-33ish) whereas his parents got married really young (20-25) and they have a lot of regrets while my parents are cruising. We have different dreams, I’m following mine and you have yours to follow 😌

[DreamLife7]

He's never going to marry you hun sorry. He's going to marry the woman that is confident , sexy, intelligent and a challenge. You're too easy and the fact he hasn't rush to marry you shows he never will. you did this to yourself

[Asker]

I don’t care if he doesn’t marry me. Marriage is not my end goal, I’m just here for the ride with him and enjoying his company

[DreamLife7]

You care but you know a man will never marry you because you're used to rejection

[Asker]

Okay. Thanks for sharing your opinion!

[IslaTheWitch]

marriage isn't needed to be happy in the relationship... so I don't care about it... to be with someone I love is the ultimate goal

[Asker]

Couldn’t agree more!

[Foolablee]

I'm someone who's committed and I like getting the same energy back. I want to be with you forever and have a family and if you want to do the same, then hell yeah.

[Asker]

Definitely want someone who matches your commitment and energy!

[JTinSC1981]

I date for sex. Marriage is possible if everything clicks but the main goal is sex.

[Billlewis]

@JTinSC1981 Hell, yes! I'm still hoping you'll follow me, so I won't miss any of your posts, Sir.

[Asker]

Valid. When you date you basically get to have consistent sex

[TheUniqueOne96]

Just be together without being married.

Marriage isn't necessary for commitment.

If you're religious, then fine, but I'm not.

[Asker]

That’s true. If you’re committed you don’t need a piece of paper telling you that

[avery58]

This last relationship was more of go with the flow, but I did believe it has potential to become serious otherwise I wouldn't have even bothered

[Asker]

Great point, with some relationships even if you’re just going w the flow sometimes you just know that it’s not really gonna go anywhere while with some you can see the potential of possibly getting married

[HawkPerception]

If I do marry someone, it would be because I'm in love with them and can see myself with them for the rest of my life.

[Asker]

Yes I agree. Marriage should be a one time thing (in my opinion, I only wanna get married once, no divorce lol)

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I date first to know the person fully. Marriage will come to mind once I'm sure about the person.

[Asker]

I think this is the ideal mindset to have when it comes to dating

[electromagnetic]

I dated my partner now with the purpose of one day getting married and starting a family.

[Asker]

That’s really sweet, I hope that day will come soon enough

[electromagnetic]

Thank you 😊

[SweetJoyGirl]

I date to marry.

I don’t like wasting my time. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[Asker]

Do you have a timeline of when you plan to be married tho?

[SweetJoyGirl]

I do! 🧚🏾‍♀️

[Asker]

That’s great, I wish you the best of luck and hope you’ll fulfill your dream of getting married soon xx

[SweetJoyGirl]

Thank you! 💜💜💜

[Dreamclouds]

I would marry you

[CrabCakes11]

Marriage is just a piece of paper. I date for love and the long term

[Asker]

True! You don’t need a piece of paper to tell you that you’re in love and committed

[Pudsmucker]

Yes, you should date for marriage

And you should continue to date after you're married. Very wise to keep the relationship strong.

[Asker]

Definitely! If you stop dating them just bcs you’re married then you’ll quickly lose the spark, very good advice you got there!

[OddBeMe]

🎵 If you can’t be with the one you love honey, love the one your with. 🎵

Actually that’s crappy advice from Crosby. You should find the person you most like spending time with.

[Asker]

Couldn’t agree more! I date bcs I want to spend time with the person I’m interested in and actually get to know him on a much deeper and personal *wink wink* level

[OddBeMe]

There you go. Attraction can be surface level, like magazine covers. But then deeper and emotional. Where it’s stronger.

My hardest hard ons aren’t the magazine aisle of Kroger. Judge says I can’t go back there. But it’s when my wife comes home and I see that fckin thing wedged up those perfect cheeks.

[12karen]

I date to marry but then, I don't pressure myself or even ourselves to get married quickly,
Only God knows

[Asker]

Yeah I feel like the pressure of marriage sometimes end up killing the relationship

[12karen]

Yep, that's why the couple just go with the flow and make it work til the end

[Asker]

Totally agree with your observartion!

[Theodoricus]

To marry. Because I have no time for nonsense.

[Asker]

How would you know that she’s the one that you want to marry usually?

[mayurr]

@Theodoricus True.

[Theodoricus]

You'd feel his warmth and sincerity on the first date in your hearth and veins. You will have tons of things to talk for hours without getting bored.

[Theodoricus]

@mayurr Cheers!

[Vegasrunner]

@theodoricus How long have you been married?

[Theodoricus]

@Vegasrunner Sorry, I didn't get married. I'm still single. I guess, you will talk about the responsibilities of a marriage right?

[Vegasrunner]

@theuniqueone96 in my opinion you're an idiot to get married as a man. I'm simply curious as to when you'll change your feminine approach to one more conducive of men that are successful with womem.

[Asker]

@Vegasrunner in my opinion, you’re only an idiot if you marry the wrong person. I think it’s great that @theodoricus knows what he wants in life, seems like he’s also being cautious of who he decided to spend the rest of his life with.

[Vegasrunner]

@theodoricus Lol, I understand you think it's great which is why I said you're an idiot to get married as a man. He should probably by even more cautious and not get married at all because there's no benifit. Don't believe me? Name on TANGIBLE benifit men receive from marriage.

[Theodoricus]

@Vegasrunner Do your job. I don't want to waste my time.

[Vegasrunner]

@theodoricus My apologies I meant to tag @asker with that question

[Asker]

@Vegasrunner I don’t live in the U. S. so in cases of divorce the wife doesn’t get half of what the husband owns. Where I live, you actually need your wife’s/husband’s permission to even buy property and the money is only split 50/50 if it’s in a joint account. There’s also no child support (there is but it’s usually not implemented or mandatory) so there’s barely any cons to marriage (for the men’s side).

As far as I’m aware, in the U. S. you’ll get some tax and loan benefits when you get married. You might get health benefits and a pay boost at work (since now you have dependents) but you might even be able to save more money as you now have a wife that brings in additional income. You’ll get consistent sex at home, someone who cooks and cleans for you. It’s a matter of finding the right person to marry tbh. If you’re that scared about losing your wealth or whatever then just get a prenup and you should be good or move to my country lol

[Vegasrunner]

@asker that actually makes more sense as to why you don't understand. In the US there are no loan benifits, there are some tax benifits but you could take advantage more just by having a LLC. Health and pay benifits are not true in fact u could lose job opportunities if you were married depending on your job. The "additional income" part doesn't math as that wife if a cost to you and if she's working that means she's taking away time from being a mother which is literally the only value women bring to a marriage. Statistics show that married men have less sex than single men, besides that your stuck having sex w/ only 1 women and most men want variety. Prenup isn't necessarily going to protect your assets the way you think. TBH, if a man is "scared" of getting married than why not just not get married? What country do you live in?

[Asker]

@Vegasrunner wow, it’s basically the opposite where I live. A lot of jobs require you to be married in order to secure a more higher up position but women get less pay or denied a promotion once they’re married. I guess I can understand why married men have less sex it’s bcs their wives are tired taking care of the kids and the home 24/7 and feel under appreciated by their husbands most of the time - that’s why it’s important to give her a day off from time to time. Mothers usually don’t get a day off from taking care of the kids or the home.

If a man is scared of getting married then he definitely shouldn’t be getting married. But that means he needs to be clear of his intentions when he gets into a long term relationship with a woman, gotta give her the heads up that marriage is not in the cards for him so that she doesn’t expect marriage from him down the line. I live in Asia, it’s patriarchy heaven pretty much…

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker TY for for sharing, however I would ask that if you can't disclose the actual country please don't base your statement on "where you live" Asia is a large continent made up many different countries. This is something I've noticed women do where they will only provide partial information to prevent the listener from making an informed decision. If sex is so difficult for married women that's all the more reason for a man not to get married or to have a sex piece on the side if he does.
Also you bring up another point that I help men understand. They under no obligation to share their intentions w/ women as doing so does not benifit them at all. Women say this because they want to know this information, so they attempt to deceive men by pretending that these things are a requirement. I explain this to the young men I Council your job as a man is to hang out, hook up and have fun with women. It's on the women to figure out your intentions. Men have a long time to raise their value women only have a short shelf life so they are the ones that need to disclose their intentions if they want to keep a man. I live in US it's a gynocentric female based society. I go out to Asia a few time a year, Thailand, and Japan mostly, and I played in Shanghai for one season.

[Asker]

@Vegasrunner I just don’t feel comfortable disclosing where I live but it’s a predominantly muslim country so some of the traditional muslim guys have multiple wives here. What’s weird is that usually the men that are in the lower economy class are the ones with multiple wives even though they could hardly afford supporting a single wife. I’ve lived in the states before only for college and I notice how the women seem to be much more dominant in the relationship whereas I was raised in a culture where the man provides & protect while the woman serve.

I personally am a highly sexual person and I have tons of sex with my man and I would like to keep it that way married or not. If I do get married, it won’t be bcs I’m after his wealth/property. We both came from well off families so we’re pretty much already set. We’ll only get married for legal reasons so that we could legally live together (it’s illegal where I’m from to live together if you’re unmarried lol), even porn is blocked here…

[Vegasrunner]

@asker I can't comment on a fictional country, but I am referring to all first worl countries.
You being "highly sexual" isn't relevant as it's a general statement.

[mayurr]

I've never dated before but I'll date to marry whenever I'll.

[Theodoricus]

I hope you will find the right woman soon.

[mayurr]

Thanks. Let's see.

[Asker]

I also hope you’ll find the one soon, just gotta keep looking!

[mayurr]

There is no place left for me to keep looking😑 There r no women at my workplace & all the women I see in the gym r taken

[mayurr]

Let's see if I can find someone online

[Asker]

I don’t think the gym is the best place to look for a partner tho (even tho I met my boyfriend at the gym lol)

[mayurr]

Except work I spend my free time there on a daily basis. That's why I told that. Except that I try on my weekends wherever I go & any occasion if I meet someone there but never met someone till now who will be with me.

[mayurr]

Also approaching many unknown women randomly is not possible.

[Asker]

Makes sense, dating is getting kinda tricky. But I hope you’ll meet the right girl sooner than later!

[JamesRandiDebates]

I "date" to have readily accessible pussy.

[Asker]

One of the reasons why I date as well, to get my pussy licked lol

[Anonymous]

I've sworn to never marry because I know too much about today's women and modern marriage.

[Asker]

Honestly understanable

[Princesspd]

I date for sex.

[Asker]

Consistent sex is also definitely one of my top reasons as to why I date tbh

[GeminiDiamond]

Went with the flow, got married.

[Asker]

That’s awesome! I feel like things are much more likely to work out when you just go with the flow rather than focusing on getting married. Too much pressure.

[paledreams]

Just to date. For me, it's about the... banging

[paledreams]

And having someone to share it with rather than say a hooker lol

[Asker]

Can relate, banging is definitely one of the reasons why I date

[paledreams]

Preferably not to play the field for the sake of it - STIs, stds, worse, pregnancies, etc

[paledreams]

Prefer to just date to bang one woman. Aka one girlfriend 😋👀

[paledreams]

And others just want to sleep around or sleep with a different body every other night or week lol 😆

[paledreams]

So I am cautious in some aspects if i was actively dating and banging 20s women at 30 that I'm - ah well. I don't wanna use the words conservative or traditionalist, cringe. I'm a leftie socialist : peace 🕊️😊

[paledreams]

And I love my condoms and my sti testing and pregnancy tests and lube (if I was sexually active, lol)

[Asker]

I too also date/bang one guy at a time. I don’t do hook ups bcs the risks are way too high and I don’t want to rack up my number lol.

[paledreams]

I've tossed and turned and at 28/29 I definitely realised I only wanted to preferably only bang the same woman - I mean like I would date many women if I had to yet I would wait for sleeping to determine who should be "the keeper" and I don't believe in "the one" , I think you get what I mean to write - I'd save it for the right woman, or going back even still would again, lol 😂😆 after all, the worst would be "well that was disappointing" - lol 😆

[paledreams]

My "number" is 0 lol 😆 ; including dates - stood up once so I guess I'm actually at 1 lol : 1 as in stood up hahahaha and I've been flirted at more than a handful of women between when I was aged 18-29

[Kelly6]

Dated and then got married

[Asker]

Glad it worked out for you, hope everything is going swell!

[Awesomesauce2005]

I date to marry.

[Asker]

Do you have a specific timeline in mind of when you absolutely have to get married by tho?

[Awesomesauce2005]

6 months to a year. If i dont know by then i will never know.

[Awesomesauce2005]

I dont waste peoples time

[Asker]

That’s a pretty straightforward “deadline”. Even though I don’t date to marry I usually also know by the second year whether I want to spend the rest of my life with the person or not

[Awesomesauce2005]

Pretty much what i said 🫤

[Asker]

Yep bcs I’m agreeing with you lol

[bobby_bush_eater]

Marriage and children is the goal for me.

[Asker]

Nice! It’s awesome to see that you really knows what you want in life!

[Luckycharms12]

Go with the flow see where it goes

[Asker]

I’m with you on this, there’s less pressure and you can truly be genuine with each other without having to let anything slide just bcs you have to get married

[wiltingrosepetal]

Date to marry

[Asker]

Do you make it clear from the start then usually?

[wiltingrosepetal]

No, but I tell them I'm a virgin immediately. It sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. The "I'm not part of hook up culture" tone

[Asker]

That’s great and very straightforward! Saves you from wasting your time with the wrong guy

[shortster]

To marry

[Asker]

That’s sweet!

[shortster]

Thanks