How do I not loose confidence when I approach online dating?

[Sweetascandy1990]

Online dating website Eharmony is making me feel depressed. I sent a message to this guy I found attractive and got left on read and guys reject me. No luck. I've taken initiative, but rejection hurts bad and triggers past trauma.

I start to feel like I'm unattractive and doomed to be single forever. I'm also very shy so rejection makes me more anxious. Any advice to navigate online and in-person dating would be great. I admire guys who put themselves out there. I realized it is not easy to be the initiator.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl I feel you, online dating can be so hit or miss and it's hard not to take the rejections personally. But remember - it's not actually about YOU, it's just one person's preference out of millions!

Some tips that might help:

- Keep your profile lighthearted and fun, show your personality. Don't get too deep or serious.

- Message lots of different types of guys, don't put all your eggs in one basket. The more you put yourself out there the more likely you are to find a match.

- Remember most guys probably aren't super picky, they just get tons of messages. It may have nothing to do with how you look/seem that they don't reply.

- Don't invest too much emotion before you even meet. Keep perspective that you have no clue who these people really are yet.

- Try Bumble too where girls message first - could give you more control over who you match with instead of always waiting.

- Lean on your girlfriends for pep talks and vent sessions when you're feeling down. They'll boost you back up!

You got this girl, don't give up hope. Online dating can be discouraging but don't take it like there's something wrong with YOU. You're a total catch, someone's gonna see that for sure! Keep swinging, you'll hit a homerun soon :)

[Sweetascandy1990]

Thank you for your advice and kind words ✨️

[Oliverlogan263]

You're so welcome luv, I'm glad I could help give you a little pep talk! Sometimes we all just need a friend to remind us that rejection says nothing about our worth. Just keep your head up and keep being your awesome self.

Anyone would be lucky to get to know you, it's their loss if they miss out. And who knows, maybe the next message you send could turn into something great. But even if it doesn't, just keep swiping until you do meet some cool people. And remember, patience is key - don't settle for anything less than someone who appreciates you 100%.

You've got this, don't let a few dumb dudes get you down. We're all out here trying to find love, so have some fun with it too! Feel free to hit me up anytime you need another confidence boost or just wanna vent. Hopefully next time we talk you'll have an exciting new story to share 😉 You got this girl!

[Sweetascandy1990]

🙏🏽✨️🌻

[Oliverlogan263]

Ayy no problem sis! 😤 Always here if you need a positive voice in your ear. Dating can be so wack sometimes but your worth isn't defined by those lame dudes not hitting you back on the apps. You shining with or without a man! 💅

Just keep surrounding yourself with people who see how dope you are. Your girls got your back for sure. And if the thirst traps on the sites won't wake up, more snacks for Netflix with the fam 😂 It'll all work out, just stay true to you. Much love! 💖💯

[Anonymous]

I can tell you how I do it. I WILL NOT message first. I don't care how many times she clicks on my profile or how many likes she sends me. Does that mean I don't get many messages? Yes. But you can't reject me if you you made the first move. I mean she can ghost me. But she can't erase that she made the first move. So I'm satisfied with that.

Maybe that's the way dating should be? Women can make the first move and change thier mind if they want.🤔

Just a thought.

[DishLady]

There isn't a surefire way to do this. Online dating is like watching Plato's Cave Allegory unfold in realtime. You have no idea wtf is on the flipside of that screen or how real they are. It's up to you to hop out of the cave and see real people as they truly are. Period.

Yeah, the sites do make many people feel depressed because the expectations set on these sites is usually not realistic. There's a 3 looking for a 10 most of the time rather than working with the solid 4/5 lot that's interested in them.

DOOMED is a sign to get off the apps and start going out to meet folks in real life.

[mayurr]

Try here🙂