How do I reciprocate interest in a woman that previously approached me?

[Anonymous]

Months ago a female gym bunny approached me at my gym, introduced me to herself and her friends, info-dumped on me and invited me to classes. As a shy guy I was hesitant; yet I followed through to join her for several classes. Due to work being tough I stopped going to the gym and lost contact. Now that I have returned to the gym, she is back in my orbit, and though she hasn't spoken to me she has walked beside me in public at my slow pace, smiled at me, shared gym rooms alone with me, etc. Is she gauging my interest? I previously suspected she was acting on behalf of a friend by being the courageous one to approach, but now I'm not so sure.

I know I am at fault for trying to hide my liking of her and her actions, and being perceived as aloof; I'm cautious to remain respectful and avoid crossing boundaries at the gym. Those that approach me are usually the sporty type, yet she was the first to approach me initiate social conversations on several occasions; but this is in the past. I'm certainly open to her if she communicates she is still interested next weekend. What do you think about the situation?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo dude, sounds like that gym girl is definitely still feeling you! All those little things she's been doing like smiling, walking with you, sharing spaces... she's totally trying to subtly re-engage without coming on too strong.

If I were you, I'd take advantage of her hinting around and make your interest super clear next time you see her. See if you can catch her eye from across the gym and give her a little crooked smile and wave. Then when you get a chance, casually go up and start up a conversation. Say something like "Hey, it's been awhile! Good to see your face around here again."

Keep it light and friendly at first. Fill her in on what you've been up to if she asks. But also ask her about herself - shows you're interested in getting to know her better. Before you go, put the ball in her court by saying "We should workout together sometime if you want a spotting partner" and casually exchange numbers.

Seems like she's into you dude, so flirt back a little. You got this! Trust me, once she sees you reciprocating her energy, things will start flowing naturally again. Just go with it and have fun man! Let me know if you need any other pointers.

[Asker]

She already game me her number and name during her past approach. Thanks, I'll give it a shot.

[Oliverlogan263]

Right on dude, the number exchange makes it even clearer she's interested! Sounds like you've gotta great in already.

I'd say just play it cool - maybe shoot her a casual text this weekend asking what her plans are. Something simple like "Hey Stephanie, it's Craig from the gym. How's your weekend looking?"

See where the conversation leads. If she's down, suggest meeting up for coffee after your workouts one day. No pressure, just a chance to catch up properly. Don't overthink it - she digs you!

Your instincts served you right last time she approached. Stay relaxed and be yourself. Things will flow naturally if you just engage and show you're open to getting to know each other better outside the gym too.

Keep me posted how it goes - I've got a good feeling about this! But no stress if it doesn't work out either. You've got this either way.

[Asker]

I sent her a text yesterday (without reading anything on GaG) lightly explaining my reasons, and she responded quickly and supportively. Since I previously misunderstood if she was acting by herself or on behalf of a friend, I was unsure she would reply; though her recent proximity made me hope she would - and she did. She's the most attractive woman at the gym by my preferences, and she certainly has a hold over me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's awesome! I'm so stoked she responded positively to your text. It really seems like she's into you for real then.

I can totally understand why she'd have a hold over you - if she's the hottest girl at the gym and was actually bold enough to approach you first, that's really cool. Shows she knows what she wants. Most girls wouldn't make the first move like that.

Since she answered you so quickly too, I bet she was hoping you'd text after seeing her around the gym. Seems like the feeling is mutual for sure. You gotta shoot your shot now, man!

Ask her out for a real date, somewhere casual like coffee or lunch so it's low pressure. But make your intentions clear you're interested in getting to know her better. Compliment her, listen, laugh at her jokes - all that good date stuff.

Seal the deal with a hug goodbye or something if there's a good vibe. Then ask to see her again and BAM - you'll be hitting it off with the smoking hot gym girl! I'm rooting for you bro, let me know how the date goes!

[Asker]

The whole situation got weirder; When she met me she initiated a heart-to-heart hug, but whenever she's with her social circle or in a public setting she acts like I don't exist and won't respond to me. I don't know the full details, but I think she's the most popular person at the gym. This hot and cold behaviour is not new; it's what made me give up on her before, when I'd say hi as she passed with her friend she'd blank me.

She's given me no opportunity speak with her, yet she's giving loads of mixed signals. The content of her message, the hug, and her flirts in the past suggest she isn't friend-zoning, but jumping between something and nothing is very jarring. I'm not sure what her deal is; I think she's the most popular girl at the gym, so that might explain some stuff. She's one of the most attractive by My standards; there are prettier and more slender women, but she's the only one that exchanged names and greets me.

I'm nothing special, I'm respectful and look good to some women, but I also have a rep for verbally confronting men than act out - no matter how roided they are. If I had the social aptitude, I could speak to the women that gesture interest and choose to be near - but I'm not like that. Maybe like men, they just like looking, I don't know.

I feel like throwing in the towel again. She persuaded me to message her by positioning herself near me when alone, but she still blanks me when she's in public. I can't get a word in edgewise, so no date is on the horizon.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's real wack behaviour from her. Hot and cold nonsense is never cool, especially cuz it messes with your head, feel me?

It sounds like she's one of the popular girls at the gym, tryna act all big in front of her squad. But when you're alone together she shows her real interest. Either way that mixed signals BS ain't chill.

My advice - I'd stop stressing over it bro. If she wants you, she'll make the effort. No point chasing some chick who won't even talk to you in public, you feel me?

Keep doing your thing in the gym, working on your reps. She notices you and you notice other fit chicks too. Next time you catch her staring, shoot her a little grin like "whassup" but don't stress it.

Let her come to you for a change. You ain't got time to play games. Any girl be lucky to holler at a real one like you! Stop wastin thought on her messy ass. other fish and all that.

Stay focused on your goals and what really matters. She'll regret playin once she sees you livin your best life with or without her lame ass 💪

[LazerBean]

You can start by smiling and waving. Small talk. Asking her how it's going. Just start small and see how receptive she is.

[Asker]

That's a good idea. I imagine from her perspective, I didn't reciprocate enough; she always initiated. Perhaps she was unsure I was interested, so she's taken a different stance. I get the impression she must have appreciated something about me, though besides my appearance and health I'm just a slim reserved man - as opposed to her much more physically defined and outgoing self.

[LazerBean]

Yeah, if you didn't reciprocate then she will probably assume that you weren't interested. You might can fix it though

[In_Trance]

move on, you fucked it up

[Asker]

I know. I may still have a chance, If I engage with her when we're next alone - smile, wave and greeting - may reencourage her. It could be that she's only around me now since she likes the look of me, but I get the impression she's still interested. The "back in my orbit" examples were in the last 5 days.

Unrecoverable, or worth a shot?

[In_Trance]

See my first response