Asked a girl out in person and she said yes. I dmd later and she hasn't answered. Is she interested or not?

[Anonymous]

I see this girl once or twice a week at the gym. I started talking to her a couple months back and she is very friendly. Since we had exams we didn't have time, but now I finished an decided it was timw to ask. She happily said yes and that we could text to plan. I warned that I was leaving in 1 day and I could only go out tomorrow and she said thwre was no problem.

But when I dmd her that same to make a clear plan, she hasn't responded. Its been like 20h and she knows Im leaving and hasn't watched my dms. Is she interested, playing hard to get or what? Or does she want me to write again to show interest?

[HollyK21]

I understand you were both busy with exams but I’m sorry, there was just no solid reason to ask her out the day before you left. There’s been days, months, weeks and when you can take out time for the gym or just personal life things in general, you can prioritize even an hour long coffee date if you really liked her. Life doesn’t just stop because of work or school.


How you went about this just creates an unnecessary sense of urgency or like it “has” to happen since there’s only one opportunity on your end now and that’s just not fair to her. Yes she agreed and maybe hanging out in general was something she wants to do, but you put her on the spot and if she’s not comfortable with confrontation then she said yes. She could’ve been given more notice, whether it was last week or two days ago, you’ knew you were leaving.


Aside from this, it sounds like you’re only really considering your own predicament without thinking of hers. Like what about asking is she’s ok? She or her friend/family/etc aren’t hurt? Car trouble? The list goes on and you only seem to be concerned with how this affects your attempt at throwing together a plan last minute. This was poorly executed due to time restraints, you should’ve just kept in contact then made a plan for a date when you got back.

[_Maya_]

I don't think she would have said yes and then changed her mind that quick. I mean nothing is impossible but it seems unlikely. If everything was going well up until that point then there is no reason to think she was leading you on. You don't know if something happened. It could have been a family emergency or something like that. Maybe she is a forgetful person. Maybe she just hasn't checked her DMs because she doesn't that often. I can go on and on. My question is if you are leaving why bother going on a date? The way you word the description part of the post is that you make it sound like this was her one and only shot because you were leaving. If you are coming back then why rush and if you aren't anytime soon then why bother?

[Asker]

Im leaving the city for vacation. Were both coming back in less than 2 months and we will see each other again at the gym. In fact, my homwtown is just 1h away from where she lives. And what makes me be confused is that I have gone back to instagram to she if she has answered since I dont have notifications on, and she has been connected recentlt

[_Maya_]

No offense but it seems pointless to go on a date and then leave for months. Why not wait?

[Asker]

Because we live nearby. I visit her town all the time during summer. We could easily see eachother every week.

[ManOnFire]

Been 20 hours and still no response. Sorry this has happened. Unfortunately she did what many girls do. She obliged you probably because she felt like she should, or just to be nice, with no real intention of following up with you. Even her "happily" saying yes does not necessarily mean anything.

Girls wear faces all the time when you're asking them out, but deep down they're not really serious about you. They have to show you that they're really interested, and she is showing that she's not. Just friendly advice: pay more attention to what a girl shows you than what she says. Look for consistency. They often will say one thing but do another, so look for answers in their actions.

You're about to leave anyway, so it's okay. You'll probably have better opportunities where you're going.

[Avicenna]

I'd assume that she isn't interested if there's been no response at this point

[DishLady]

Perhaps something urgent came up -- if so, she will explain herself. Don't text her anymore.

Any other reason isn't worth your time.

[Iron_Man]

Where are you leaving to and are you coming back? Maybe she thinks it’s not gonna be a future with you so she’s not gonna go through with it