Legal consequences aside, I’ve noticed that men are usually hated for dating someone much younger than themself, whereas an underage girl is most often allowed to date someone older without the same societal hatred. This is Especially true when the relationship is consensual.
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1 y
It’s weird to read responses. When I wrote this question I was thinking more like a 4 year age gap like 16 and 20. Yet you people automatically assumed a huge age gap like 30 years difference. What’s wrong with you people?
Why do men get so much disdain for dating an underage girl, but the underage girls rarely get the same response?
I'm likely going to get a lot of hate for this for this, but I'll state my opinion honestly. An older person in the dynamic of a relationship is considered the more dominant one generally. And the younger person in the dynamic of a relationship is usually considered the more submissive, immature, and inexperienced one. That is why it's considered "manipulation" or "grooming" when men date an "underage" girl. Because people think the "underage" girl can't think for herself and hasn't had enough experiences to make sound choices in her life. It's the same reason they penalize adults for crimes much more harshly than youth. Because the youth are considered immature and inexperienced and can be corrected in their ways or rehabilitated if they are given direction in their life.
However, I disagree with the state of society in terms of that. Until recently the term age of consent didn't even exist. Girls throughout history were married off at even the ages of 12 or as soon as they started "bleeding". I don't agree with forced marriage and the lack of choices back then, but I believe it's okay to let them make their own choices. If they are naturally attracted to older men, as many younger girls are, then I believe it's fine. It's all about consent.
Girls from ages from ten to thirteen years were typically regarded as acceptable ages for sexual consent in Western countries during the mid-19th century, by the end of the 19th century changing attitudes towards sexuality and childhood resulted in the raising of the age of consent.
It's an extremely subjective topic and you'll find that age of consent differs greatly depending on the country even nowadays. Brazil's age of consent is 14. Nigeria is the lowest in the world currenly at 11 years old. Should we hate on them for that? I don't think so.
I myself am attracted to women generally above the ages of 18, but I could also date anyone as old as even 50 years old or more. I genuinely believe that age is just a number. The only thing I care about is compatibility. Do we have the same views, interests, sense of humor, style of communication, love languages, way of thinking, where we want to be later in life, physical attraction towards each other, sexual compatibility, etc. If all of those align, then I see no issue in dating them. The thing is, while age is not the sole factor that determines maturity or any of the aspects I mentioned when it comes to compatibility, it does have a correlation with it. So the chances of me finding an 18 year old girl that's at my level of maturity or is similar to me in all the ways I mentioned is not likely at all. I'm more likely to find a girl around my age that shares all those simiarities as me.
Anyways... I'm going way too much into this. My opinion is to let people be free and do them. There's a lot of repressed people in the world that live of fear of being called derogatory terms for the rest of their lives if they come out into the open. As long as there's consent and mutual attraction, I think it's fine. But the world won't be that way for a long time. In some ways we've progressed as a society, but in many ways, we've regressed.
Short answer: Double standards. Women (in general): Rules for thee, not for me. ... with a dash of gynocentrism.
My real answer: I'm glad to see a female has noticed this as well... or at least someone that does not fall for my favorite troll move on this site, where I will state,
"I banged a 13-year-old"
... and then wait for the hate. I then allow them to make a complete fool out of themselves before I hit them with the punch line.
"I banged a 13-year-old when I was 8-years-old"
So... why is it? That goes back to my short answer... and I just take advantage of it for trolling purposes.
The amount of adult women taking advantage of minors, just like women have done with cheating, is now surpassing men or is about to. I blame modern feminism. All the things I remember women complaining about men, is now them doing it. But I guess "equality" is simply being worse than the other. I guess they're just doing it for the cause 😂
Society in general has not caught onto this shift yet. Most millennial and above would have no idea what I'm talking about. Since they're the majority of what makes media, you're going to see more of the outdated thinking that women are just perfect angels that are not capable of doing anything wrong (Blue-pilled thinking). This is also why a story like "Teacher Gets Pregnant from 13-year-old Student" will still get comments like, "Where was she when I was 13?" or "What a lucky kid!" ... especially if the teacher is hot.
Because the underage girl might not understand that it was wrong of him to ask her out and all of that stuff. He on the other hand, knows that it's wrong. Unless we're talking about when a 13 yr. old decides to lie about their age and say they're an adult and try to date an adult, then that's a different story. But those adults still get in trouble for it despite the fact the teen lied about their age in the first place.
Because most people are judgmental and talk shit about things they have no control over , so as long as you and your partner are happy? That’s all that matters , Fuck what other people think or say
Perceptions of agency. Girls, and then women, are constantly told how weak and powerless they are, both by traditionalists (who want fewer people upsetting their social framework that puts them on top) and by Feminists (who want fewer people upsetting their social framework that puts them on top). Consequently, women not only see themselves as unable to make positive changes in the world, but see their own negative actions as excusable, since "it doesn't matter what I do; I'm just a girl!".
This is also why domestic violence is horrifyingly high among lesbians, and almost nonexistent among gay men.
It depends on what you mean by underage. There seems to be an effort to redefine 18+ girls as underage when they are legal adults.
I think few would be approving of a 12 yo girl dating an 18 yo boy. Romeo & Juliet provisions have probably got it about right in accepting a 17 yo girl being with a 23 yo boy.
Once a girl s legally an adult does anybody really care? if she picks a guy who is 38 - 20 years older - it is unusual but not unknown. 10% of marriages have a ten year age gap. Society expects women to be younger and men to be older for good reason.
The only objections I have seen are from older women who possibly don't like competition from young girls for high status men.
Have you ever seen The sound of music? In that the Captain is in his 40s and Maria is actually 17. It’s one of the reasons why the oldest daughter says she doesn’t need a governess. And yet that’s acceptable.
Regrettably I have. Things went badly wrong after that and I ended up sleeping on a beach getting sandblasted. So I don't think of it fondly :)
It is now more than 80 years ago and a romanticized biography at that. Adulthood came earlier then and fertility was important. In the UK only recently was marriageable age increased from 16 to 18. Also in that period military men, to marry, had to obtain a suitable rank and obtain permission from their commanding officer in the 1800's and early 1900's. Civilian men had to build up their station in life before they could marry. It took time. So marriageable men were older.
So it was baked into society that girls would be young and their husbands quite a bit older. The von Trapps were closer to Imperial Europe than they are to our times. I don't think there is much to be drawn from SoM.
“Why do men get so much disdain for dating an underage girl, but the underage girls rarely get the same response?”
Answer: Because she can’t consent to it by court of law & court of popular opinion.
18+: I consent
18-: I cannot under laws!!!
It is sexual assault, rape, etc. Whether an adult male predator does it to an underage victim or it is an adult female predator does it to an underage victim, gender doesn’t matter in the eyes of the law & court of popular opinion. Period.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
Cause it all comes down to women’s feelings. Something can make complete sense, logical, but if the girl doesn’t like how it makes her feel, her feelings trump all logic. Women will say a man who doesn’t want his girl to wear certain outfits is insecure. But if he’s looking at other women online or something to which she expresses her dislike, he’s an asshole. Or he’s inconsiderate of her feelings. He’s a jerk. He’s this. He’s that. My point is that most women don’t care about a man’s feelings. He’s just insecure but her feelings are valid and should be taken seriously.
Rightfully so if they are underage. That means they are below the legal age for consent. So yes, they should get a lot of hate. They know the rules…. Now if you are talking age gap with legally aged people. 18+ but the guy is significantly older. I don’t really see a problem with it. People say buzz word shit like she is young and impressionable lol. Nah, she has the autonomy, she knows exactly what she is doing. Do you in that regard.
I guess they figure the girl is an innocent flower that got manipulated or groomed. This can be the case, but sometimes the girl does know what she's doing. The man should still reject her of course.
My girl is 12 years younger than me and my friend is dating a girl that is 22 years younger than him and it works. Everyone is happy and is emotionally and sexually satisfied and that’s all that matters. Everyone else can eat a bag of dicks. 😂
because she's a kid, so people will not blame her for her immature decision to be with a pedo. they will put the put the blame on the creepy older man rightfully
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