Why is it socially acceptable for men to date younger women, but women are frowned upon when they date younger men?

Question

IronLady6354 · Accepted Answer

I'm married to a man 16 years younger than me so I've got some personal experience with this.
Firstly, I don't think it's totally socially acceptable for men to date/be married to younger women (or at least not women over a decade younger). There are a lot of people who assume it's not a real relationship and that she's just in it for his money and he's just interested in the sex. However, I do think women dating/being married to similarly younger men get a lot more judgement from society. For instance, a woman in a relationship with a younger man is labeled a "cougar" (a term I very much don't like). Such a label for an older man with a younger woman doesn't exist. I also think people get a lot more "weirded out" with an older woman in a relationship with a younger man (not saying it doesn't happen to men, but I think it more strongly happens to women). I think this is the case for 3 reasons

1. For one thing it's always been at least somewhat of a social norm that the male is usually older then the female. This causes people to oftentimes be less weirded out by older men-younger women.
2. most women naturally do prefer older men to younger men and men vice versa. This makes the older woman-younger man dynamic a lot more puzzling/less understandable for people who find it inherently less desirable than the reverse
3. People typically think that it makes more biological sense for an older man to be with a younger woman as the man can have kids no matter what age but the woman stops being able to after a point. However, this isn't totally true. I'm confident it was much easier for me to get pregnant with healthy twins at 40 as a result of receiving younger sperm. If I'd gotten sperm from someone my age or older I think it would have been much less likely I could get pregnant or have healthy kids. So there is a sort of biological argument in favor of the older woman-younger man dynamic)

hi_it_is_me123 · Accepted Answer

Women get shamed for dating older men and get called golddiggers but also get shamed for dating younger men and get insulted as cougar. Lol you can't do anything right
I personally prefere someone my age or younger

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

Um... The amount of times I saw and heard people throw shade at older men for dating younger women, calling them all kind of names such as "predator" or even "pedofile" (while the person they date is above 18) because the person they date is "naive" and "easy manipulated". This is especially coming from older women who those older men are "supposed" to get with. These women are often nothing but bitter because that man managed to get with a young and beautiful woman in her prime years. So I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that men escape criticism.

Generally speaking, women date men who happen to be (slightly) older.

es20490446e · Accepted Answer

Be frowned with me.

MzAsh · Answer

Typically because most women mature at an earlier age than men. Women reach emotional maturity around age 33 and for men it’s around age 43, so women already experience a maturity gap with the men they date that are around their own age, let alone when they date a guy who is younger.
However, there is a chance a woman could find one of the few younger men who are far more mature than older men. I’ve found a few of them in my day.

rjroy3 · Answer

Where do you live that people genuinely frown upon cougars?

Like okay, maybe some other women shame them maybe. Those are the same women who tell men to date women their own age lmao.

I've never met a man who "shamed" cougars.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

Haters gonna hate. They hate on older men with younger women. They hate on older women with younger men. They hate on physically unattractive dudes dating physically attractive women, and vice versa.

There's always going to be haters. Why? Because there will always be unhappy people, and unhappy people love to bitch and moan about happy people finding happiness because they don't approve of the way they found it.

People should all find happiness the way the unhappy people have found it. Oh. Wait. They haven't.

So if you want to make others happy, be miserable. If you want to make yourself happy, DGAF and do what you want, try not to be a jerk to other people. Have a good life and be gentle with the miserable people, but don't bow down to them.

kingjulienstoe · Answer

If a woman dates an older man, she's assumed a hold digger. If a man dates a younger girl, I feel he could be viewed as a pervert. I feel like both people are frowned upon. Maybe the woman is frowned upon more because she is assumed to be taking advantage of someone.

James112 · Answer

The reason is because a man is suppose to lead a relationship. He’s older and more mature then the girl and is more wiser he can protect her. And If the woman is older then the guy it’s weird because she’s older then him and the guy would be immature still so what exactly does that say about the woman? Why would she date a younger guy that’s immature it doesn’t look like it’s a serious relationship, mostly just a hookup so she can feel wanted. As the guy probably just wants sex and she’s falling for it. Also it seems she’s being a mother to the guy.

Vickymoore9 · Answer

I never heard that 😂 I’m 35 years old old my boyfriend is 31 years old 😝 I think the real problem is a person who cares about what others think. That’s when you know you got sever mental health issues! People seriously even most family aren’t going to do anything to make you happy that just a fact. They may enjoy talking a bunch of bullshit telling you what your doing wrong! But the fact is if you told them what you need to help make you happy. 99% of you have nobody in your life that’s going to lift a finger even if they could. So why you care to give two fucks about people opinions shows you need to drink dranO 😂 I’m not going to apologize for being blunt 😝

Jjpayne · Answer

Because older men are more mature and younger women have healthy bodies to produce offspring. It's a crude primal answer but look at nature, you see this pattern there too. Given it's not perfect and you do have a point about older women dating younger men. But overall I think it's more natural instinct than society 🤔 I love the willis!

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because its anti biology.

A good woman wants a man with wisdom experience success who would make a good father.

So she gets with a young man who has little wisdom experience or success and isn't yet capable of being a good father... so is she a good woman thats retarded or a sex addict or some kind of control freak abuser?

This is literally what i think when i see this go on. Its fine for casual sex but why flaunt it? I was a stud for older women before multiple times. Those women were ALL train wrecks. They were hot but damn not fucked in the head.

Paolaa988 · Answer

I like younger guys preferably. I think thats true sometimes but like us women can look good when were older. Whats the big deal? I've slept with an 18 year old and it was the best.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I feel if older women want to date younger men it shouldn't be frowned upon I just think some people have issues but there are times younger women are frowned upon and said she has Daddy Issues cause she's age 24 and wants date an older man age 54 so see it usually works both ways I don't care what people say to me If I want to date young women I do it

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

They aren't, the only reason you see it less is because women are typically more often attracted to older men and men are typically more often attracted to younger women.
exceptions always exist, and both sexes are usually attracted to people their own age, but The only one that tends to get frowned on is men being attracted to younger women.

IMADLAD · Answer

Because mature men are good providers and younger men are less, even if a younger man is mature enough, it would still send people the idea that you're old and denying it. Lets be sincere men are more visual and are attracted to a girl's looks not her personlity, have you ever heard a guy dating a women because she had a good sense of humour, no!. On the other hand, women are less visual then men because they admire strength and personality which gets me to my point that people will judge women because they got the impression that there is something unusual about those couple:

People:Why is he dating that old milf?

Others: because she is hot and desperate.

People:why is she dating that young man?

Others: because he is rich and he makes her feel younger.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Where I am it doesn’t seem to be taboo for older women to date or even marry younger men. Frankly, it seems more the norm than the reverse. I am friends with six women who married younger men. All six couples seem quite happy.

SomeBlondeChick · Answer

It isn't socially acceptable per se. Many view it unfavorably. Younger women with no personal achievements or goals are deemed golddiggers, trophy wives and other terms that imply contempt not approval.

But younger women who are well educated, travelled, achieved much, etc. are going to be attracted to older men for the same reason I am... guys my age widely can't keep up. They are not mature enough, they're not interesting enough, etc.

KneeDragger · Answer

It's creepy as Hades when you go anywhere near a decade of age difference. My cousin dated a guy who was sixty-eight when she was twenty-two and she has major daddy issues. Her step-dad feels her chest when they hug or she rubs his back, it's gross.

There might be people who can make it work, but I don't know them and like I said I would wager there is something mentally going on there.

Just my two cents and I'm not a psychologist with a doctorate.

LorraineGates · Answer

Women date older men because they have money. Men date younger women because they have looks. Reversing that isn't socially unnaceptable. The only time there is a problem is with very large age gaps.

JamieLoves · Answer

Because we’re men and rule the world.
Women are only breeding material to sustain human civilization. Their opinions are irrelevant. What do they know about worldly matters! Their place is in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning , washing... and yes sexual procreation ! Barefoot and pregnant...
If they were meant to have opinions, God would’ve made them with penises !
We Men have 2 heads. 2 are better than one. God gave us double the brain power!!!

yuviii2012 · Answer

Yes it is a big problem and reason for my last relation to break as she was 2 years older than me and her family resisted her to marry me... finally she chose her ex who was 2 months elder than her.. this is just so idiotic thing I do not get... age is just a number, its how people love each other that matrers most.

Xyglo27 · Answer

Women become bossy & start taking the lead when they date younger men.

I don't mind dating an older woman but she should know her place in the relationship. I'm the man & I will lead! If she has a problem with that then she can go fuck herself!!!

Men are the leaders in the relationship! Women need to understand this & stop being bossy when dating younger guys.

TheorionMage · Answer

BECAUSE the hypocritical society is structured such that women and girls in their freshest bloom of youth have FAR MORE experiential and resource opportunities partnered with a more experienced male.

But... more mature women are believed 'wiser' that HAVING GAINED their OWN experiences and resources would not be interested a 'quid pro quo' SIMILAR 'boy toy'~

ZackBan · Answer

Not frowned upon just uncommon I never saw a woman with a younger man getting hated on. If anything the guy is accused of having mommy issues but that's about it

shalt · Answer

I'd like to think I'm unbiased bmcuz my parents never truly gave a damn or told me what was politically up or down, but if you put the pictures together, it don't look right lmao. Women are HOT, younger, more so. When you out a hot young women next to anything or anyone, the whole picture becomes better, men have cut physiques, cool, w. e, but women are still better

SphynxUK · Answer

I don’t think either option should be frowned upon. People end up who they end up, and that’s it. I think the people that moan about it are simply envious.

fonduegirl · Answer

Women who "frown upon'' it are simply jealous... Gah, mom does it all the time. Bad mouths her best friend for having a fawning suitor, a good boyfriend. He's thirty, she's forty. She's his fucking princess. I think it's cute.

Avicenna · Answer

I think that depends who you talk to, but I'd guess that what people have against the older women dating younger guys (and I suspect most people do not care either way) is when she's at the end of childbearing age and he's childless.

DaisyM23 · Answer

I have no clue. I guess because it’s like a joke or stereotype for older men to date younger women and it’s like whoo go get it but older women who date younger women are looked down on as unfeminine

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Really? I always got the vibe that it was because women just don't find younger men attractive.

I don't know that anyone cares if women date younger men. My mom is almost 60 and she's dating a guy in his 40s and no one says shit about that.

CasaNorba · Answer

are we talking about planet earth?

cause last time I checked men who date younger women get more then just frowned. they get called pigs, perverts, desperate losers, and even extreme terms like pedophile, etc.

not saying that they dont deserve it

BoobMan · Answer

It's not my observation that women are "frowned upon" but others for dating younger men any more so than men are frowned up for dating younger women. What strikes me as more salient is that generally women tend to prefer similar aged or older guys to younger guys, relative to what is the case for guys.

So the difference isn't driven by social pressure to anywhere NEAR the extent it's dirven by personal preference.

jshm2 · Answer

Really? By who?  Young studs tend to be in demand by most divorcees and high flying women. It's their time and money and no one, but you, seems to be caring.

worldscolide · Answer

I think it has to do with traditional gender roles. Traditionally younger men are not mature enough, and stable enough to take care of women. Its also part of why women seek out older men.. On that same token its an out dated concept.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Most of the girls I seen are with older man now. There was this very hot bbw 28F I was seeing for while then sometime after a year she met her long term boyfriend 45M who's is a heavy lift body builder also has look alikes of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dwayne Johnson but much bigger and more thicker. She also tells me the sex is a lot better with him and she also feels the emotional connections WAY MORE stronger and intense then all of her ex boyfriends and the guys she seen. 🤷🏻‍♂️

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

They are not. Its odd to see it reversed due to our biological inclinations, but no one really cares beyond seeing it as the abaration that it is.

Joey_007 · Answer

Since when last I checked...

Leavesbound · Answer

When I was 19 I definitely didn't frown upon my 43 year old girlfriend. Of course I sometimes playfully called her Mommy when she got bossy.

Mangospacho · Answer

A 50-year old guy who dates an 18-year old is not socially acceptable. It is creepy. If the age difference is 10 years or less (as long as both are over 18) then it’s generally accepted regardless of the gender.

wittymilf · Answer

Women just do it less often than men so it’s not as “normal” in society

Ripper_E · Answer

women frown upon it themselves and men dating younger women, or at least I see only women complaining about it.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Maybe because it's more heard of. Some are claiming it's a double standard, but it's also a double standard how when a guy dates younger, he's a pedo, but when a woman does it, she's 'got options'.

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Ehhh, I feel like it's more acceptable for women to date younger guys than it is for men to date younger girls. Women get the whole cougar thing, while guys are more often than not looked at as creeps.

Massageman · Answer

"Funny how that works, huh?" says Bullwinkle.

Actually, a match of a (let's say) 35 year old gal and a 21-25 year old guy would be about the best possible combination for "perfect sex". Her experience, his drive.

Coulis · Answer

I think men are frowned upon for dating younger women more actually. Eye rolls and what not. Women getting little supportive smirks when they see she robbed the cradle.

obtuseocelot · Answer

No idea. Older women are amazing, let them fuck who they want.

Birdlegs · Answer

I didn’t know it was frowned upon I prefer older women

WesBrewer · Answer

I didn’t know that was a thing, unless it’s like 10 years younger.

wankiam · Answer

here in the uk i dont think thats the case so much...

The_Maphio · Answer

It's not true. Men who date extremely younger women are just as depised.  Nobody, men or women, who date people who could be their own offsprings will never be seen as cool.

AllThatSweetJazz · Answer

It’s not. Usually women get a “you go girl”. Meanwhile, older guys are label creeps.

anylolone · Answer

Not really true. Older men dating younger women are seen as creeps, older women, even when they are creeps, aren't seen as creeps.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Because it has always been easier for Women in the dating game overall and especially a Mature Woman who would have way more options than a Mature Man even if they are not rich.

AkshiJanjua · Answer

Because women say they like older guys  And old men have not much option left and younger girls are their best bet gor children. Women get money and stability and older guys get babies

DavidDong · Answer

I don't see a problem Love is love As long as young isn't too young as in kid

Joshua0213 · Answer

My girlfriend is 3 years older and wouldn't say its not socially acceptable

bannacookies · Answer

I don't know. I don't think its socially accepted. The guy is known to have daughter issues & the girl to have daddy issues.

K-I-S-S · Answer

...😗

skeetskeetskeet · Answer

They aren't frowned upon... they are just looked at like the predators they are... Not that there's anything wrong with that

jerdanro · Answer

Beats me. No one one younger wants me. All I get is matches from older fat, really unattractive women.  Im thinking coke and hookers

LostYahooAnswersUser · Answer

That’s a good question. “Cradle robber” is what I’ve heard thrown around a lot and they make fun of her while she is away (I am guilty of laughing).

jasco · Answer

Honestly I don't know, most people don't care unless its underage so eh

Nazgol · Answer

Because we live in a sexist double standard filled society

Why is it socially acceptable for men to date younger women, but women are frowned upon when they date younger men?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why are women who date younger men so frowned upon?