Why do people judge women who date younger men?

Question

Men date younger women all the time and it's "normal" but people have something to say when a woman dates a younger man. I've dated younger guys all my life and this didn't start at 34 years old. I'm too young to have a mid life crisis so it's definitely not that. I'm aware that I'm a 34 year old beautiful woman and I embrace that daily and I'm very confident. My age doesn't define me and though I'm not 21 anymore which is fine I'm not a senior citizen either. I don't consider myself "old" and my 25 year old boyfriend loves me and shows me off in public. I'll continue living my best life and being happy.

TisTheTruth · Accepted Answer

People who don't stick to norm will always be judged. Nothing shocking or new here. You just need to continue doing what you believe is right

JohnBoinka · Accepted Answer

People JUDGE Others because They have nothing Better TO DO... they Just BORN WITH MOUTH to TALK...

Robbey · Accepted Answer

Some people are hateful and or jealous. My hubs is 35 and we get along just fine and have a nice family.

BornFree · Accepted Answer

I do get judge because my fiancé is 25. I just ignore it

Dawsonwc · Answer

I judge women who date younger men for the same reasons I judge men who date younger women. I don’t impede on their relationship or claim they’re bad people but I do hold my own personal private opinions about their relationship. Each relationship is different so I’d be cautious to claim any thing in particular about them but I do have a number of questions that bother me like “Are they together despite their age difference or because of it?” and “Is either person being taken advantage of?”. I don’t know the answer to these questions and I don’t believe it’s my place to force my opinions on them anyways but it still makes me feel concerned. I just always desire to live in a world where people used each other for selfish reasons less and relationships with large age disparities seem to be a fairly easy place for a person to exercise manipulative behaviors if that’s what they wanted to do. There’s nothing inherently wrong about the age gap itself and plenty of people could be in relationships like this for very innocent reasons but the alternative is seen just as often so I feel unsure about it at times. I’ve been a willing participant in a relationship with an older woman but I’ve also had older women in positions of authority over me put me in positions that felt very unfair. I’ve even quit a job because of it (among other things). So I think some people just assume the worst in situations like this because of how prevalent the negative side of relationships like this are. It’s one of those things that seems like an extra difficulty for a relationship so it makes you wonder why someone would choose it over something closer to the societal norm. Unlike say being gay or coming from a different culture, mage difference is difficult to justify since age isn’t a static thing in a persons life. Your younger significant other isn’t immune to aging. It’s easy to understand a gay man not wanting to date a women because he just doesn’t feel attracted to women. But saying something like you feel no attraction to older men would be difficult to support because again your partner isn’t immune to aging. So will you throw them away with time? It’s just harder to understand immediately. I’m sure with time you could explain it but most people aren’t going to take that time. I mean again it’s not my relationship so I’d never bother to say any of this to anyone’s face but it does make you wonder what their motives are.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I dated older woman. I haven't seen this happen so often around me... Demi Moore via he media is exmaple. Generally, it is the opposite, so maybe it is "familiarity". It may be media... like "the graduate" and such that cast a poor image on the woman "baiting the guy whereas it is viewed as accepted the opposite way.

I've dated older women and younger. Oldest was 8 years than me. Was always drawn to older women, they felt... more emotionally stable. Plusses and minuses in that relationship, but that is the person as well as age.

What is it about younger guys you like? What I've normally heard from girls is they like older guys because they are more mature. I can see a hormonal alignment working well with what you have.

For some reason society accepts someone like a 90 yr old man (Hefner) with 30yr old woman, and 1000's of 20 yr olds at the gate if that doesn't pan out. But a 90 year old woman with a 30 year old guy, or worse... a gaggle of 20 year old guys wooing her... that doesn't fit. I think there is some social dynamics and nature embedded in our thinking.

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

My boyfriend is 4 years younger than me. People don't really judge us, at least not too badly. But my boyfriend has heard: people telling him to avoid older women because we only want to settle down and have kids. In our case, it's more like he wants children, and I'm the one giving in to his wishes. He's also had male friends tell him that they'd never date an older woman, they'd bang one possibly, but not date seriously. Even my brother told him he should reconsider being with me, because I'm going to age and not only is he younger, but he looks really young for his age. So I'll just look ancient in comparison (despite it being only a 4 year gap lol).

ManOnFire · Answer

I am one who loves older women and am much more attracted to them than younger ones. In truth, younger guys dating or just having sex with older women is really not a new thing, it's been there for ages, it's just that people didn't ever really pay attention to it as a "thing" until the 2000s rolled around.

Older is better. Younger women don't have the maturity and mannerisms of older women, and I think that's why younger guys have increasingly started pursuing older women. And because, yes, older women do tend to hold a strong kind of sex appeal of their own that is more magnetic than how younger women just "look good." I know for me I get horny much faster from talking and flirting with an older woman than a younger one.

johnny_hustle · Answer

Men dating younger women is considered normal as long as the guy isn't in his mid 40's and the girl in her late teens/early twenties. Then they will get judged. From my experience, I've noticed it's mostly women who have a problem with women dating younger guys. Twice have I been talking to someone older than me and once they found out my age, they said they couldn't do it. One was 4 years older and said the age gap was too big and the other was 15 years older. The one that was 15 years older still tried for a moment and then ultimately couldn't get pass the age difference. I've never had a problem with women at most 2 years older than me, but once the age difference gets bigger they tend to find it less attractive to date me than when they thought I was older.

NoxWriter22 · Answer

I've always preferred older women. Even in highschool I never went after girls my age. So long as the older woman isn't a legal adult messing with some kid underage, there's no real problem.

People are naturally judgmental. As a matter of fact judgement is an evolutionary trait. Humans didn't always know how to judge others for survival. In the present judging people to survive isn't as necessary as it was millions of years ago. It's more of something we do because the influencers (parents, celebrities, fictitious role models) in our lives do it.

dantetheexplorer · Answer

The average human is an avid curtain-twitcher and loves judging others. You see it all the time here as well:
- Men only want sex.
- Women who wear skimpy outfits are hoes.

It's very easy and intellectually lazy to fall back on stereotypes, and the majority of people will want to categorize you as soon as they meet you (harpy man-hating feminist? spineless cocksucker? degenerate Liberal?) - because it takes more effort to actually treat people as individuals first and foremost. Not everyone wants to put in that effort.

Don't get bogged down by the hate.
We live our lives for ourselves, and not to be in the good graces of the peanut gallery.

On_the_other_hand · Answer

Most people don't care who you date. I've never heard one person complain about a woman dating a younger man.

I'm sure they are out there but there is a little bit of everything out there. You only notice the turds.

People judge other people all the time, it isn't just people with an age gap.

You can't honestly tell me most people look down on your relationship. Unless you live in some backwards ass town.

Can you give some specific instances where this happened?

Might be a mother of a son who she wants to make grand babies.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

It's true, that always happens. There is a society bias on it.
It's a type of sexism in my opinion: people who think that women shouldn't date younger men are the same people who think the man should be the dominant one in the heterosexual couple.

It has happened to me as well, since my girlfriend is slightly older than me, and coincidentally more assertive. Some friends stated that it's just natural that timid and shy people like me attract older women who can "take advantage of that".
Yeah.

Киттйлинк · Answer

No idea... but I’ll conclude it could possibly be because they always say that older women are less fertile and therefore most men would feel more attracted to younger women by nature being that the younger you are the more fertile... as oppose to , en who until now didn’t really have an age limit for reproducing.. but recently they did a study which shows that men too have a clock... but he knows how much validity that study has and even if it does their clock comes far more down the line when they’re older as oppose to us who have less time... so I’m inclined to think this is the reason for it or at least a big part of the reason why older men and younger women are seen as normal and frown upon the other way? ...

Cask23 · Answer

It's not common. Men age like wine, women age like milk. Fact.

Because of the fast spoilage of a women's fertility and beauty, men usually date similar age or down. Because men's status, confidence, and wealth increases with she, women usually date similar age or up.

Although unspoken everyone knows these self evident truths. That is why an older woman with young guys scenero is odd.

thaliabree · Answer

my bestfriend is 23, dating a 35 year old woman and literally no one has an issue with it, there the cutest. but my mom got a lot of shit for dating my stepdad, so i get it. i guess it’s just seen as the life experience balance

nathanp97 · Answer

Guys are often judged for dating younger women, and the guy you are dating is probably being judged more than you. Women maybe judge more for it because it is less common. A lot of women seem to prefer older men and men seem to prefer younger women, and anything out of that is strange and will likely get you judged. Also if you intend to have kids the age gap could be problematic. Most guys don't want kids tell they are at least close to 30, and you may not be able to have kids by then.

dipta · Answer

To me, it depends on how much younger.
While I'm not dictating how other people should live their lives, I find it awkward when some women date their son's friends or guys younger than their sons. There's a whole generation gap there.

I'm not saying it's alright for men either, but maybe we expect older women to be more... maternal?
And expect young people to eventually want to start a family someday, which probably won't happen if the guy chooses someone as old as his own mom.

Björnson · Answer

Because people lile to put their noses in other peoples business, where it doesn't belong.
You're 34, you're life isn't even half way over so enjoy it.
Have a fling, date younger guys, date older guys, save up and book a one way ticket to whereever.
Do whatever you want, the world is yours!

And don't let anybody tell you different.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

It just doesn't make sense because he would need to be more feminine and you more masculine to make it work and most people find that someone shocking or even revolting. Most women dont like feminine men so they won't understand you at all and most men dont like masculine women so personally id think he is some sissy whipped boy and tbh it grosses me out a man would be like that. Does he not want kids or something? I don't know the whole thing seems weird to me.

Older men and younger women gives advantage for women to be especially feminine and the man to be especially masculine all while optimizing the biological window for maximum child birthing. So it just seems very functional. While older woman younger man seems dysfunctional.

Unit1 · Answer

They want what they can't have, so they be hating on you for it.
See that's where you're better than they are. People judge. Many People are idiots.
So when they say anything disturbing, then you know, that they are jealous.

I LOVE MATURE WOMEN! 👩❤

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I dated a lady who was about 14 years older than me, when I was 30. I don’t know what people thought of her dating me, as I really never overheard any comments. She and I dated for 3 years. I think at first her kids thought the age difference was a bit much as they weren’t too much younger than me. LOL

MaisGem21 · Answer

I’m 24 and I’ve had boyfriend 2/3 years younger than me (I know it’s not as big age difference between you and your boyfriend, but if I got with someone nearly a decade younger I’d be in prison 😂)

I personally don’t find anything wrong with a 34 year old woman with a 25 year old man, same for opposite way round. You are both consenting adults.

Ignore haters and just do you 👍🏻😊

Benedek38 · Answer

For a very simple reason in my case.

You didn't want to date guys your age or younger when you were in your early 20s because they weren't "mature enough" for you? Well, guess what? You are too mature to date them now. That train departed. And I don't like people who whine because the missed the train, when they didn't give a shit about it earlier.

Why do people judge women who date younger men?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people judge women who date younger men?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.