Do most guys end up with the girl they want or is it the girl they can get?

Question

Do most guys end up with the girl they want or is it based on who they can get

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

It's always a combination of the two. I don't care if you were the best looking man with the most money on earth. You can never literally get everybody you want. There will always be someone who says, "nahhh". But sure, some guys have more options than other guys. Or if you think of women like cars... the fact you can get any type of car doesn't mean you can get your neighbor's car.

Then there's the 'what you don't know' factor. You might think you know exactly what you want & you get her. Then much later you figure out there is stuff about her you didn't want that you never thought of before. So is she really the girl you want if who she really is isn't what you actually want? She was what you wanted when you got her tho.

90% of divorces are started by women. Out of all types of marriages (gay, hetero, lesbian), lesbians have the highest divorce rate. See the common denominator? For best results a guy would be wise to go for the traditional type woman cause marriage is a traditional thing. It could be that our ancestors knew more about keeping a marriage going than the people today who run around saying life is all about what makes you feel good/comfortable/easy/ and so on as if you can be single within a relationship.

MicahRaine · Accepted Answer

It depends on how much the guy really wants/values that girl. In short, if a man or woman values a potential partner enough, they will change themselves to be more attractive to that person and will likely win that person over.

Quality attracts quality. That is true in every area of life. There are also many ways to measure quality/value. Some value physical appearance, some value money, some (okay most) value personality, and some value morals. Most people choose a few of these qualities to value and pursue, very few truly value and pursue all of these qualities.

When a reasonable (not delusional) man or woman truly values a certain quality, they work to achieve that quality within themselves, and in turn they naturally attract potential partners who have done the same.

So, good and hard-working men and women (usually) end up with the one they want (even if it's not the one they wanted at first). Meanwhile, those who are unwilling (or in the rare and unlikely case, unable) to put in the work end up with whoever they can get.

SugarSugarplum · Accepted Answer

I think too many people are out there holding to their checklist, instead of trying to craft their future.

You have to go into a relationship looking for basic compatibility, not breaking a girl down to her atomic bits and testing each bit for "go/no go" like Apollo 13.

Is she over 5'8"?
Is she fair-skinned?
Does she have (favorite hair color)?
Is she (rude/adventurous/pleasant/naughty)?

Checklists like this make it so you cut off the possibility of being pleasantly surprised by someone out of your normal type. If you go in looking just for basic compatibility, then the subatomic attributes you thought were so critical will melt away.

The goal is to be happy, right? To join with someone and craft a fun, adventure together. You're not buying a new car and checking it over for door dings.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Some guys end up with the girl they want... who ends up being the wrong girl for them... and then settle for the girl they can get...

Other guys pine over "the one who got away" and let themselves go to a point where they're not fit to find the one they're meant to be with...

And some guys... well...

ManOnFire · Answer

I think more often than not men do end up with the girl they want, while women almost always settle for men who aren't ideal, or settle for ones they know aren't shit but they think they can change him into what she wants.

Men usually do get the type of woman they want, even if she's not 100% his dream girl to a tee, he still will get what he's looking for even if it takes time. This is a better route anyway.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Most guys do not select a particular girl as the goal and then focus only on her. Most guys have some ideas about the kind of girl who would be ideal but they rarely, if ever, meet a girl who satisfies all of the criteria.

Avicenna · Answer

You might think you have the one you want but not really. Or you know you're "settling". Or maybe your expectations are unrealistic.

Finchie40 · Answer

I will only be with a girl I want , I don’t give 2 shits about a girl I can get ,

Account · Answer

The second. No, I won't elaborate.

AviatorTom · Answer

My experience... the girl a guy gets

BTigers96 · Answer

I can't speak for anyone else, but I ended up marrying my ideal. She's hot, smart, kind, loyal, classy, etc... and a great mom. It took a lot of dating, and trial and error. One day "poof" when I wasn't even looking she arrived and the rest is history. I dated a lot of pretty women, but none of them were to total package like my wife is.

I went out with pretty much who and when I wanted to prior to meeting her, so I didn't settle. I wouldn't trade her for any of my friends wives either. 😉

Purpleronnie · Answer

Why would anyone settle for someone they can get … rather than someone they want and love and that loves and wants them back, I find that totally absurd and just plain wrong !
We are talking about a person right? I mean how destroyed might a person feel finding out that they weren’t wanted but just put up with because of their biology , sexuality or gender.

I would rather be single than settle. Rather be alone than settle for acquaintances as “friends” etc.

Honestly … vile , the thought that this happens

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I think honestly majority just end up with the girl they can get, since often the girl they want is above their possibilities.
Plus, there’s an advantage for girls: they can choose. There’s always plenty of guys (desperate or less desperate) trying with each of them, so they just have to be wise and choose, while the guy has to hope to be chosen. If he’s lucky, he gets the one who he wants, if he’s not, he just ends with one he appreciates until a certain point. And this might bring to unsatisfying relationships and breakups.

Anonymous · Answer

From what I've seen, I don't think very many guys end up with the girl they wanted. I think that's because the girl they wanted either breaks their heart, or something else happens to keep them apart. For example, I think I was the girl my ex wanted because if the fact that he told lots of people and his friends that. He had made plans of already marrying me because if things he has said and done. Something kept us from being together and I could see that it did bother him, he settled for a girl he didn't want, but was a second option. So, I think things like that can happen or happen often. Rebounds seen too be very common. Where a guy gets with a girl only because he's hurt and ends up settling for some girl he didn't really want.

BetaBucks · Answer

80% of guys end up with the girl they can get, 20% end up with the one they want, within reasons. It's not like 20% get to pick royalty or celebrities. Just a commoner that's as attractive as they want. These 20% are the guys that women are fighting over, sharing and settling for the 80% when they can't have them.

Kelley1 · Answer

Since the girls they want are out of their league, less than one guy in a hundred ends up with the girl they want. Instead it is based on who they can get. In turn, the girl they get has settled because the guys she wants are out of her league and unavailable to her.

HawkPerception · Answer

Hmm... I've had a few girlfriends, but none of them seem to have been the girls I wanted. 2 of them were great, but not entirely compatible with me. I had some faults as well though and I definitely have no hate for them.

I wouldn't say I was settling for anyone. I would say I actually had some pretty good partners for the most part.

Still haven't found the one for life though.

Universaldance · Answer

I cannot see myself settle with the girl I can get unless she has all of the partner traits I’m looking for which isn’t much when we realize with how many blessings God designed us with. It turns out 65 is as much as I can count for now and would be happy settling with. Call it a standard or preference but I know those blessings would complement a great future together based on past relationships/experience/hurt and tendencies I could compromise with her on

TonyV · Answer

Well after listening to the unrealistic standards a lot of guys on here have I'm sure they either get what they can or morelikey turn into bitchy redpill incels.

So many desperate money guys say shit like " I wish one girl would give me s chance... not that, or that, no not that girl, euuwh no, no, no , nope, not her she's only a b cup and like big boobs, not that slut she's got a body count of 8, blue hair she crazy or lib... why can't I find a girl?"

MLGbreezy · Answer

If your asking if most guys end up settling rather then getting the girl thenbyes most guys unfortunately endbup settling. Then there are the rare few that scorevacbaddie who are built like a potatoes so honestly I don't know I'm at the point in my life where I've realized dating is hard cause people choose to make it hard so I've chosen to just sit and watch the chaos unfoldz

alice55 · Answer

I think they get the girl they can get cause I've seen a lot of tall cute guys with super shorts fat ugly girlfriend. I doubt that these kinds of girls were their ideal girlfriend.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I would imagine that if you aren't Elon Musk or royalty you most likely won't get your first pick. That's why they say to never put all your eggs in one basket. Several times one girl ruined my chances for other girls because I chose them and they don't have the maturity to tell you not interested until it's to late to get with others.

Anonymous · Answer

From the horrendous treatment, mind games, cheating and manipulation, it seems most men are with women they've settled for and need to make her suffer for that.

Some prefer it because they don't want a woman to have that much control over them emotionally so they would rather marry a woman that they benefit from and don't really love.

Then, they just fantasize about thirst trappers on IG and live life this way never really connecting to any woman.

İronclaw_ · Answer

This may vary depending on personal preferences, social and cultural factors, and individuals' values and experiences. While some men choose based on their emotional and romantic idealism and prefer to be with whoever they want, others make choices based on factors such as practicality, compatibility and mutual attraction in existing relationships. In general, both situations are possible and vary depending on the individual's situation.

dreamstar72 · Answer

Sometimes a guy can’t get the girl he really wants so he settles for second best. Then the second best finds out she was his second best so she dumps him and now he is looking for someone or anyone. So it is wise not to categorize women as trophies.

beaves11 · Answer

Leagues don’t exist. Go for who you want until one says yes. Don’t settle, don’t let rejection or heartbreak jade you.  You will find who you want.

RavVid · Answer

Probably the girl they can get I'd say. A man has gotta be realistic. Mind you he should equally be realistic in whether she is worth the getting.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

If a man is brave enough to make the first move, he will get what he want. If he doesn't, might settle for what he can get.

kwsmith2 · Answer

Normal male psychology is such that these two tend to converge. If it doesn't that's something of an issue. Might want to see somebody about it.

Dongie · Answer

I think it's probably more than 50% get the one they want. And they must get a few more because some of us end up with nobody. Who settles anyway. That's fair to nobody. Especially the one you settle for.

normalice · Answer

Generally, the girl guys want is a figment of their imagination.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Most settle for what they can get. That's why there's so many divorces

standardguy · Answer

This depends on how "desired" they are themselves. If all women like him he can srlect the woman, if the dedired eoman does not think thaz he is attractive and worth her then she blocks him and he searches an other woman, pethaps less attractive.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I can't speak for anyone else, but I ended up with who I wanted!

Juxtapose · Answer

I don't know but I'm not going to settle with someone who does not value me the same way I value them. If I am giving you my entire being you better do the same.

genericname85 · Answer

I think all people in general end up with what they can get. cause most people wouldn't settle for less if they didn't have to.

handsomelad70 · Answer

Usually the latter unless he's rich and/or famous.

paledreams · Answer

Hey someo f us quite happily just prefer a single bliss existence :( 😊💝

gorydetails · Answer

girls fuck who they want, guys fuck who they can guys marry who they want, girls marry who they can.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Men get the best looking woman they can afford, while women get the richest man they can attract.

Luopio27 · Answer

People settle with the best of their available options.

OddBeMe · Answer

Funny how “settling” is arguable. Settling down feels good. But settling for someone doesn’t.  Even if that person makes you insanely happy

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the guy. If they are going to be in denial about being picky they might end up alone.

zagor · Answer

Obviously the girl they can get, though that is often the girl they want also.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I always want the girl I get, but I do not always get the girl I want.

IWILLPLEASEYOU · Answer

Sometimes we have the best of TIMES of our life and we are still in a relationship with lots of things to understand why.

Anonymous · Answer

Unless you’re an alpha you settle with who you can get. Most men are unhappy with their relationships and sex lives. I could have who they wanted they’d be happy

SkatPak392 · Answer

based on who you can get. Majority of men aren't even lucky enough to get that.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the guy. Some guys would rather be alone then lower his standards.

Blacksnake285 · Answer

Can get, wealthy guys end up with the woman they want

provokeesmokee · Answer

They end up with the girl they can pull.

In_Trance · Answer

That depends on the guy

Do most guys end up with the girl they want or is it the girl they can get?

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Do most dudes get the woman they want?

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