I keep hearing about how guys just settle for girls that aren’t their type do guys always do that? I’m a bit worried because before me my boyfriend dated only white girls like this lol and I’m the only girl he’s dated that’s hispanic and 4 years younger than him so I always have wondered am I really his type lol. Even my guy friend that I’ve known since high school told me that guys just settle I know that some girls do too but that’s kinda sad to hear. Me and my boyfriend have known each other for two years now and I still worry about this lmao
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Is it true that guys just settle for girls despite them not being their type?
I believe this is only the mindset of toxic men. Those who only want what they can't have. This makes sense because those are also the disrespectful types who refuse to accept "no" for an answer when someone says they're not interested. They want someone better looking than they are without considering their own worth, and then when they get someone (who is better looking and could get someone better, but she chooses him), he becomes dissatisfied and thinks he's settling, and decides he still wants someone else he considers better than her, and the cycle continues.
There's this old, cranky, creepy guy with nothing going for him who has this mindset. Somehow, he has a girlfriend. He’s like a 2 and she’s like a 6, but somehow she likes him more than he likes her, and he thinks she’s not good enough for him. I made it clear to that guy that he was never going to have me, and even though he says he accepts my decision (after being rude and throwing a fit), he still acts creepy towards me. She could literally go find someone with a much better personality and appearance than that nasty dude, but she chooses to settle for him. I don't really understand the mindset of those women.
It doesn't matter if there are better-looking guys out there if I choose someone. I don't consider myself settled because the person I choose is my ideal, and my feelings for them extend beyond their appearance. And I'd want a guy who feels the same way.
Who cares who his exs were and what they looked like. he's with you isn't that enough?
If you constantly compare yourself you will never be happy or allow yourself to be loved because your creating an imaginary line between you... by thinking your not his type and he's just settling for you. Your thoughts are even putting that into motion.
Sweetie take a step back and notice how beautiful you are... you aren't his exs you are his current if you keep up this mindset you will become his ex. You were created to be you.
If your unsure if he's settling just ask him this what are your hope's and dreams? He will probably give some sexual answer say that's nice but when your old and gray do you still see yourself by my side? That will give you your answer.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Yeah. I mean I try not to and basically just sit there single. Remember that everyone expecting US to start a relationship. So if she's only 80% our type, fine. It's not worth the effort starting again and hoping again. We can't just sit around wait for suiters to come to us. We have to choose someone, put in the effort, and then justify our choice or leave.
And even if she is a horrible and abusive person, we're still the bad guy because "we were lucky to get that kind of attention at all". Like look at reactions to male sexual assault victims. If you think victim blaming towards women is bad, "he should be grateful for the attention" is more common with guys.
So yeah, if SHE rejects HIM, we say it's because HE wasn't good enough for her and failed to win her over. If HE rejects HER, it's because HIS mind wasn't open enough so HE failed to appreciate what was he was getting. Whichever narrative makes the guy wrong.
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1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
Oh I didn't read much of the question so I TOTALLY missed the point.
I'm pretty confident that he isn't thinking that much about whether or not you're his "type". He just likes being around you. Plus girls get more attractive as you connect with them, so even if he didn't initially consider you his "type", you've probably become his type, which is simply YOU.
First of all, it was inappropriate to post that girl's picture here. You shouldn't have done that.
Second of all, a bunch of us have already told you to stop dwelling on that and stop comparing yourself to your boyfriend's exes. Seriously, stop it. This isn't constructive.
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Asker
+1 y
It’s a super old picture the girl looks 30 now. Are you the one that disagreed with all the comments?
If the relationship is serious, he will want to be with you because of who you are as a person not just what you look like. Looks a attract people but its usually the personality that keeps them around so regardless of if you're his "type" or not, he will want to be with you because of who you are. Also unless he out right told you what his type is, you can't really assume that his type is just based on his exs, it's possible that you're just the first none white girl that he's liked enough to date. Anyway he likes you for a reason so don't be down on yourself or waste your time comparing yourself to others, just be yourself and if he likes you for you then everything will work out.
This isn't always true. Did your boyfriend specifically tell you white girls are his type? It could be a coincidence that his previous gfs are white. There aren't too many Hispanic people in the US and white people are the majority race here. I wouldn't worry so much about this. As long as he's being faithful and he loves you then he's not going to just dump you for someone else. He's with you for a reason.
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Asker
+1 y
Yeah he told me it was just a coincidence he seems to be most attracted to mixed girls because his celeb crush is Alicia keys and I know that he loves curly hair
girls grow up watching fairytale movies and shows that idealize a relationship with the perfect man. we tend to look for our soulmate or “guy of our dreams” for this reason.
guys don’t grow up with any of that lol. they grow up thinking they should accept any advancement from any girl and if she loves you then she’s a good marriage partner. even if you’re not crazy about her.
this is why guys may settle with women who aren’t really their type. but it doesn’t always happen obviously
While there will be a preference, I think men have a very wide set of standards for people they will date when it comes to appearance. While very few men meet the standards women set these days, so when they find someone who does care for them the way they want to be cared for, they'll find a way to make it work for them if they can.
You might be able to provide what those previous women couldn't, so if it's just appearance you are talking about, he's attracted to something much deeper than appearance with you and should be seen as much more powerful.
Trust that if your partner chose you they did so for a reason, and if he's still there after 2 years, there's more than physical attraction keeping him there and that is great.
They don't always settle. Some guys feel like no woman is perfect enough for them. Others have a pretty short list of criteria.
Others definitely do settle. It gives them a sense of security if they feel like their woman isn't way out of their league and ready to up and leave at the slightest slip up on their part. This is especially so after kids come into the picture. Women below their socioeconomic status generally trust their decisions more as well, which enable men to be the providers and ultimately feel useful.
It would probably depend who pursued who at the beginning. If you were after him and he just gave in because you're beautiful, it's possible that you're not his typical type. If he asked you out then obviously he was likely interested.
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Asker
+1 y
We met on bumble we both swiped right on each other I initiated the convo though and meeting for the first time. After meeting me for the first time he texted me “ I've told myself in my head that you are shy countless times lol, but I tend to overthink things and forget stuff. I've just never really met someone as shy before or as quiet. But that's more than okay with me, being yourself is all I could ever want. That's the person I really really really like ❤. And thank you ❤ I think you're incredibly beautiful and sweet. To me you seem like a very kind and gentle person. You also have a wonderful personality that I really love. It's okay to not have a lot of relationship experience, I've just been unsure when we meet each other more and more, when would we be able to take the next step. I'm sure there's probably no timetable on such a question, but that's just what's been on my mind. I mean I'm gonna be here lol, I'm not going anywhere unless of course you want me to 😂. Overall, you and your parents have the final word and I will respect that to the fullest extent. But overall, when it's all said and done. I would honestly love to be with you and for us to be together. Whenever that may be ❤️“
I'm not sure what I can gather from that. His attraction to you is how you may be able to see if you're his type. The way he kisses you, always wanting to be close, his sexual desire for you, if he can't keep his hands off of you, loves your taste and scent and misses you constantly.
It’s tough.. sometimes you meet someone so young that we don’t even know who us ourselves are yet (goes for girls too).. and when you get older and grow more into your true self.. you maybe realize that their could be better matches out there. but then again.. maybe the perfect person just doesn’t exist. It’s a tough question haha
How do you know that you are not his type? Some people can have more than one type which means they can find something opposite to be attractive. As we turn older, our preference may change. Some people have rigid preferences, but they usually won’t settle for someone who doesn’t match what they like.
However, there are also people who just like to explore and experiment a different type, though it is not typically what they really prefer. Now, this is no good.
More often guys have to settle, while females are always trying to trade up. Guys from 1's to 10's will try for girls from 1's to 10's. 8, 9 and 10's will aim higher generally because they know they can get higher but even a 7 will shoot for lower if it seems hard to get on the level or higher. Females from 1's to 10's all want 10's or higher and even if they settle they will either at some point try and trade up or they constantly point out to their men how the men aren't 10's in some way.
there are both male and female who settle for whatever is around at the time I guess. But over all we are not that mush different when it comes to wanting what we want. Some guys can wait for the right person just like some girls can. Others of both male and female are impatient and "settle" for what they really didn't want to begin with.
Honestly, sometime a persons type can change. Some of my guy friends are always changing their type. But when they pick a type they stay with that type for a long time. And sometimes they never change. He could have been trying to figure out what his type is and maybe he found it. And if y’all have been together for more than a few months than I would say he has found his type
stop worrying you’re always over thinking things 😅 i highly doubt just cuz he’s only dated white girls in the past that means they’re solely his type. Maybe he’s always liked latina girls but never had one that likes him too 🤷♂️ i’m white and most of the girls i’ve dated have been latina, i am half Spanish tho so maybe that has something to do with it 😂
Some do, some don't. I believe it takes time to find that perfect fit with a mate or S. O. Take your time, and be social with other guys so you can compare personalities between men. Don't cheat, but do hang out and socialize. Get a feel for what is available among the male ♂️ gender.
I think it's mixed some men settle just to have someone other men are picky and wait until they find the right person. Everyone is different and likes different thing.
I would not call it ''settling for..." That sounds like making a bad compromise. Sure - ''we'' have our ideas about our ''ideal'' partner; but that does not mean that one can't like someone who is different from that. Myself - knowing that I'm not perfect, it would be foolish to seek perfection in my Missus. After all: some little ''flaws'' can be charming and attractive as well :)
I think that guys do settle because we frankly have less choice than women. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing and I think that many guys don’t /won’t even admit to themselves that they have. I think women trade up and men are more willing to overlook the things that aren’t perfect because of desire for intimacy and reduced choice
Most men are weak and horny so they will settle for the first piece of ass that walks by since they just want to get their dick wet. I have seen good looking dudes with fat women... yuck... There is no way in hell that I would be with an ugly woman.
