My boyfriend and I made plans and his mom swooped in again?

[Anonymous]

When we first started dating my boyfriend and I had plans together to update his room, get a double bed, paint the walls etc. One day he came back from work and his mom had repainted the bedroom and brought furniture he didn't ask for. He pays rent and thought it was only fair that he could design his own room.

Now a couple months down the line and the double bed he got was second hand and is so shaky, creaky and broken it's unusable. So me and my boyfriend made plans to get a new bed, we were going to order it so I'm it would come next day delivery. He told his mom and then she swooped in told him it was a bad place to get beds from and insists that she'll pay for the bed from the place she chooses. I trust her experience but at the same time we painstakingly read hundreds of reviews, went and tested the beds etc.

The thing is, my boyfriend has decided not to go through with our plans. That means no new bed for at least a week. What should I do? What should my boyfriend have done?

[DishLady]

Ah... classic (s) mothering. She probably doesn't have anything to do in her life other than to take care of her bouncing baby boy till the end of days. Do you really need to take that away from her? She's at least a good person and trying to help you guys with her recommendations.

HOWEVER, having been married to a guy whose (s) mother was always in my business with her opinions, I'll advise you to always be polite and grateful to her so she knows she's appreciated. (If you guys are in your mid-30s she's possibly in her 60s and there's precious little for her to do that will make her smile like a kind word from you two.) Once you've assured her that you appreciate her and will take her thoughts into consideration, go ahead and do what you're planning to do... She needs to know that she's not living a second youth vicariously through you lovebirds, ok?

Is your boyfriend's dad still in the picture? If not, that can also be a contributing factor.

[Skinhead-1979]

We are talking about an adult guy here? Seeing your age bracket is 30-35 I assume he is around your age?

Why is he still stuck under his mommy's skirt?

I do not mean living with his mother... While I do raise an eyebrow at that (It simply is not a normal thing in Europe), there are of course circumstances in which adults are forced to move in with their parent (s) temporarily... but that does not mean that the parent (s) can dictate his or her life.

[Asker]

I'm not sure why my age bracket is 30, I'm 21 and he's 25. We're both saving rn to move out together.

[Skinhead-1979]

Ok... that changes things slightly.

A 25 year old still living at home is not that unusual yet... However, his mother should let him be free; he is an adult after all.

(In the Netherlands, which is my country of birth... don't live there anymore... generally teenagers move out when they go to college or university)

[bluejeansblues]

Why he is living with her mom

[Asker]

We're both in our early 20s and haven't moved out yet, I don't know why my age is showing up as 30 😅