Women over 40. How do you feel knowing you're not a guys first choice anymore?

[Anonymous]

[Avicenna]

If a woman has taken care of herself and has a good personality, she'll still be very attractive in her 40s (I have a 44-year-old colleague who is a marathoner and is smoking hot), but it's harder to be attractive if you're overweight in your 40s than it was in your 20s.

More so than looks, being bitter or a single mom is problematic for dating in her 40s. If neither is applicable and she's still reasonably attractive, she'll have absolutely no trouble in her 40s.

[Anonymous]

Believe it or not, lots of men actually prefer women their own age or even older. I know it’s hard for people like you to understand, but let me tell you there are lots and lots and lots of men who aren’t interested in much younger women and actually do see the 40 year old woman (or the 50 yo woman, 60 yo woman, 70 yo woman, 80 yo woman, 90 yo woman, 100 yo woman) as their first choice. You assume that all men really want young women and that’s just not the case.

But if we’re going to go by your logic, you would know what it’s like. You’ve never been the first choice have you. No, you haven’t, because womens first choice would be some rich, handsome, smart, romantic, kind, sexy gentleman. Right? And that’s for sure not you.

[Asker]

Why are you so angry?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I'm perfectly fine with it.

It didn't stop me from finding a boyfriend and those who are shallow enough to look at my age as a disqualifying factor are not people I'd want to be with anyway.

[Asker]

Thank you. Now reading all the (not surprisingly anon responses why are these other women so upset by the question. I never suggested anyone had decreased value. But I don't think you can argue with the fact that it's the societal perception. I'm only asking you because these other seem to triggered to answer.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Lol, well, you did kind of imply we have decreased value when you said we aren't a man's first choice anymore.

That being said, it is pretty much a given that some guys will gravitate to younger, more vapid women because they are more impressionable. Older women are more likely to have children, which frightens some men. So I get why we wouldn't be first choice.

The upside to dating an older woman is that we know what we want, are more responsible and loyal, and are better off financially.

[Asker]

That's your bias. Like I say I give you the credit for having the courage to not insult me (arguably til now by implying that I was implying something. I wasn't. I was making a societal observation. You're allowed to disagree with that observation. But I think more will agree with me than you. That's why I don't know why we debate the validity of this statement. You said it right when you said it's a case by case basis. Also, being young does not make a younger woman automatically more vapid.

[Asker]

Also notice how you're defding these woman's attacking of me rather then condemning thier response. Coincidence?🤔 doesn't appear to be.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Well, it's not just me who is apparently implying something. I didn't say all young women were vapid I said they go for younger, more vapid women who are more impressionable.

And I have no intentions of insulting you for your thoughts so no worries there. I even agreed with you that men would go for younger women. I just also stated that there benefits for dating older women which some younger guys clearly see which is why the term cougars exist.

[Asker]

Yes, and I never said all women over 40 were undateable. I simply said not the first choice. And as a society I think that is true. I think society's actions bear that out.

I totally agree. A woman does NOT have a shelf life.

This is not a debate about what is. I think what IS is pretty clear. Everyone is answering a question I dodn't ask I didn't ask why it BOTHERS women over 40 I asked how it made you feel. You were the only one that came remotely to answering. Albeit with some hostility.

[Asker]

I asked how you feel knowing you're not a man's first choice.

[Asker]

I trying to bridge that gap. Some guys are more likely to just label a woman over 40 as just bitter. And based on a lot of these responses you can understand why guys would.

[sawno]

I don't think it matters at that point because they won't be aiming for that dating pool to begin with. I doubt that every man in their 40's is hooking up with a 20 year old, many will also be seeking someone their age if their relationship failed. So a 40's woman is going to attract men in their 40's and it will be fine. Sure the 30 year olds won't consider her appealing if they aren't late 30's but I don't think it will matter much to her if she still prefers an older man.

[Asker]

Did it escape your attention that a man could choose to just not date rather than date a woman in her 40's? Either way this was not the point of my question. Most people don't want to date someone by default. Which is what you're suggesting. I'm not talking about who people end up dating I was asking how the feel knowing they're no longer a guys first choice.

[LiamJHayden]

Probably true for most. I have always preferred older and if the choice is between a non-obese 40-year-old and a 21-year-old, the older one will most likely be my first choice.

[Anonymous]

How do you feel being so old your cock doesn't work anymore?

[Asker]

You're not 40. Why are you so bothered by this?

[Asker]

I don't know how to ask this question in a less Blunt way and still get my point across. I think society as a whole would agree with this. This isn't a troll. I genuinely want to know how women over 40 feel about this.

[handsomelad70]

They suddenly realize they aren't the It Girls anymore and must adjust their expectations about which men to date/marry.(Unless they're FREAKIN' hot, and some are !!!)

[Anonymous]

You have no clue what attention a woman over 40 gets, you're a man. Did someone turn you down and now your feelings are hurt?

[LimitedBenefits101]

Damn you really pissed the cougars😂😂

[Asker]

The question is "why". @Ez-Bri_v2 has been the only one courageous enough enough to answer the question. And to do it without a personal attack. One has to wonder why a question would bother so many of them. All I was doing was making a societal observation. I never said anything wasn't a first choice. Just as a whole by societal standards. And I don't think that's debatable.

[Asker]

Anyone* not anything.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Because you asked something they are VERY INSECURE about😂 but still no excuse's for personal attack

[Asker]

Well understanding eachother is the point of this site is it not? I mean if we're going to just get angry and insult someone everytime they ask a question what is the point of this site?
I mean i would think they would have about a 100 points to refute this societal assertion and would jump at the chance to refute the notion. Not just get angry.

[Apple1996]

Women over 40 are sexy and in their prime

[Anonymous]

No big loss