Is it considered bad if my boyfriend touches me without consent?

[Anonymous]

this is the first time we went on a date. we went to a private area to sit down. started out fine till he put his hands under my shirt and started touching me under. i didn't know what to say. i didn't tell him i wasn't comfortable with it either. i just couldnt speak up for myself at that point. after that, when we parted ways, i just felt disgusted. what should i do?

[JesseP1nk]

Thats not cosidered touches you without consent- you did not say anything. How the hell he supposed to know you did not want that. People are not fucking mind readers. And 3 days later to say... "You know what... I did not want that." Did you wanted official documents you to sign that he can touch you. Next time you go out with a guy you want a guy to ask everytime if he can kiss you or hold your hand? - wow such a romantic date. Or how a guy should EVER make a move on you without you take it as assault? Prepare to be single. Because none of the guys will ever risk going to prison to take you out.

Or if you are still stupid enough to understand what i say. Put yourself in same situation. Imagine you are on the date and YOU make a move on him. But he did not like it but he did not say it at the time either. And later he files an assault charge on you.

My whole point is IF YOU DONT LIKE SOMETHING - SPEAK UP! If he still does it, then im 100% with you, that is an assault.

[meepmeeperton]

Well, it's definitely a bit eager to just go for it like that... but I would say it's only definitively bad if you asked him to stop and he continued. But if he stopped and left, maybe he got the vibe that you were uncomfortable?

It can be hard to speak up for yourself but that's the best thing you can learn to do in these situations.

Personally I'm at a point where I don't actually ask my girlfriend for consent for anything. She would be kind of turned off if I was asking permission for every little thing. But then again we've been dating for over a year so it's a little different.

[SixthEmperor]

Be very careful with this. I dated my girlfriend for 3 years and thought we had a mutual understanding as well. She even had code phrases she used to let me know when she was ready for certain forms of intimacy, until one day she came to me crying and said I never asked for her consent for anything and she felt taken advantage of. She said she regretted coming up with those phrases and wanted me to ask for a clear Yes before I initiated anything. I tried to be understanding and didn't argue but it still drove us apart. So just make 100% sure that you guys are really on the same page. Well assuming you're still together.

[Anonymous]

Depends where you live. Your husband legally needs your consent in a lot of places. So boyfriend would be the same. Yes. If you don't want to be touched it's bad if he touch you.
Same would go if a man does not want to be touched, too.

[CaptainOverthink]

That could be sexual assault, arguably.

It's a sign he don't have his urges under control, he can probably be dangerous. But he may also don't know any better.

You should really had said something, but I get that it may all have gone so fast and in the moment it might not always be so easy to make that decision.

You must talk to him about it. Tell him you don't feel okay about it. If you just ghost him chances are he won't learn and he'll just pass it on to the next one.

[FarmBoy13]

Honestly if you are uncomfortable with the touching you need to tell him, he probably thinks he is being flirty/frisky. But if you’re not taking it that way then communicate your feelings.

I once dated a girl that would grab my cock through my shorts just for fun, didn’t matter how private or public we were. I explained that we needed a certain amount of privacy for that and she backed off

[DrPepper12]

I'm just curious how If this is your boyfriend this is your first date? If it made you feel uncomfortable you need to take agency for that and tell him no

[dudeinohio]

He went for it. That's how things get started. If you wanted him to stop you should have stopped him. Your fault.

[Asker]

personally, i dont think this is normal, on the first dates u take it slow, and shouldn't you ask first?

[dudeinohio]

On the vert first date it's too. much, but not on the second or beyond. Asking can be a mood breaker... you make out and hands go where they go. If they go to far, stop. them.

[Asker]

understood. since i just knew him for a week or so

[dudeinohio]

Ok. A week may be a little soon.

[Sasquach]

You can't change what's already happened. If you're uncomfortable with escalating the relationship, then slow it down by putting boundaries up and tell him directly what you're comfortable with doing

[Staximus]

Do you even know what s boyfriend is? A guy isn't your boyfriend before you go on the first date, he's just some guy

[Luckycharms12]

Well if don't say anything he believes you are okay with it

[guyinterested]

It's called "making a move" people do that.

If you didn't like it, you should have stopped it.

[Anonymous]

You should break up with him and stay single until you can assert boundries.

[Anonymous]

Well lucky you. 🤢

[Asker]

right, honestly what would you do in this situation? just wondering

[Opinion Owner]

Loving it and I would be making it even easier for him.

[Asker]

well personally i wouldn't like it

[Opinion Owner]

Next time wear a loose spaghetti strap top and a nice flowy skirt. 😉