Why does my boyfriend (22m) make stupid false promises to me (20f)?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I are long distance and have been dating for a little under a year. And he has been making these dumb false promises for the whole relationship. Nothing serious but stupid stuff that confuses me.
For example, he had a pink hoodie he never wore (my fav color) so he said he was going to ship it to me in December. Of last year. He never did even after I brought it up multiple times.
I don't care about material things but it's more just him saying he would.
Another example is for my birthday last year he told me he was gonna make me a card and send me photos. He never did even after I brought it up to him.
Then it goes on about other things like him saying we'd watch a movie together (never happened), we'd play a game together (never happened).
So why does he lie over such small things? And is it justified to feel kinda crappy over it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, girl that would annoy me too! Guys can be so flaky sometimes. I don't think he's necessarily lying on purpose, but it is weird that he keeps promising those little things and then not following through. A few possibilities:

- He may be disorganized and forgetful. Once the moment passes, it slips his mind even though he meant it at the time. Still bothersome though!

- He's bad at planning things out long distance and overpromises what he can realistically do from far away. Doesn't excuse it, but maybe he doesn't think it through.

- Could be a way to reassure you in the moment without intending the follow through. Still inconsiderate!

I'd call him out gently but directly. Say how much those little promises mean to you even if they seem small to him. Tell him his flakiness makes you feel like he doesn't prioritize you or your time together. See how he reacts - if he apologizes seriously or gets defensive. His response will tell you something. Going forward he needs to only commit to things he can realistically do from a distance. Don't feel bad for being bothered - your feelings are valid! This habit of his would rub me the wrong way too, girl.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yes it IS justified to feel bad about being lied to. I would go on a step further and question if he really thinks you are his girlfriend!
I apologise if I am way off here, but those actions suggest to me like he is happy stringing you along!

[TommyMountainFigure]

Thank you for MHO