Oh no I think I am seeing a pattern and red flags... need the truth?

[nicolecpatey777]

I just came across this site, if only I knew about the site years ago. Hello, so I am late 40's was in a LDR with my boyfriend, he gave me an "ultimatime" of sorts, either move to me or "I can't make this work and I will be dating other women". So here it is, during our LDR, prior to my moving, he was dating other women while "dating" me. We got over that hump, however I am seeing, observing and hearing the same information and getting glaring reminders of him dating on the side. I have tried to talk and communicate with him, but I am shut down every time, every time, he gets angry, defensive and quiet. He has his ex girlfriend, random girls on FB and a girl from 2020 that he dated. Why, why, why? There is so much more, but I won't inundated the site with it. Any advice, suggestions?

[Lynx122]

The mistake you made is that you're in your 50s and still single. So your options are not great now and leverage matters in relationships. People subconsciously do the minimum effort to get what they want and clearly he thinks that you're lonely enough that you'll put up with his bad behavior. So you can put up with it and have someone to talk to or you can leave and enforce your boundaries. The problem is just that other men who you might match with will do similar things. They will test you to see how much you'll put up with.

Life is brutal.

[bowenw]

It appears he is set in his ways as a player. That is not your fault and there is nothing you can do to change him.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[katiesmuff]

WOW! Just what the fuck is a "ultimatime"? I would think a 52 yr old would know how to spell or at the very least be proficient using spell check!

[Abbycado]

52, in your late 40s. Hmm.

Those are red flags. Move on. You two don't sound like you have a good relationship by your description.

[nicolecpatey777]

I know I need to move on, I know... I just want an answer from him, why? what am I not giving him? I moved here, I left everything for this.

[Enes38]

We have a saying: The dead person cries one day, the insane one cries every day.
If you have thoughts in your head and you are unhappy, end everything.

[In_Trance]

You lied about your age