I understand not being his first priority but I dont understand seemingly being his last. Am I in the wrong or is my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend plays football. He's got a very busy schedule, he has practice like twice a day except Sunday and only one practice on Saturday. He says he's always really tired so thats why we can't hang out. Today practice was cancelled and instead of hitting me up he went to see a movie with a friend. Idc if he hangs out with his friends, its just that we rarely see each other. I understand not being his first priority, but I dont understand seemingly being his last. He's cancelled on me the last four weeks, I only saw him once for like a couple hours when mutual friends went out to the movies so we were both invited. I've communicated this feeling of him not wanting me. He says he's just tired. But i rlly think he might just be taking for granted the fact that ill always be there. Everyone else, maybe not. Me, i put up with all sorts of shit. he's like a child, he doesn't uderstand commitment. Maybe having a girlfriend means life can't be all happy fun time but thats a commitment you made. He's so coddled, he doesn't understand my feelings of lonliness or confusion. he's got the emotional range of a quarter teaspoon. Am i overreacting? Please tell me. As for why i haven't broken up with him, i rlly like the way he used to be. He was the perfect boyfriend. He loved me a lot. He woukd say "i lvoe you so much" or " i love u more than u know." Now im lucky to get a "love u too." I miss the way he used to be so much. Is it normal for guys to do thi? is it maybe just a phase of our relationsip? tomorrows our six month anniversary. Idc about anniversaries, and he never remembers or mentions thim, which idc about. but it hurts that ill be thinking about and dwelling on the last six months while he's thinking about God knows what. Not about me, im pretty sure

[DishLady]

Football tends to be an all-consuming thing for guys, esp if they’re any good and are planning to go pro. The girlfriend does tend to be a much lower priority than game night, practice, workouts, team bonding activities, etc etc etc.


As the girlfriend, you have to live with that and understand this is the life to which you’re choosing to connect yourself… If it’s not for you, then drop the guy and find someone who will hug and worship you to e way this guy is being trained to hug and worship the football.

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man that really sucks what's going on with your boyfriend. A couple things:

It doesn't sound like you're overreacting at all. Feeling like you barely see him and that he takes you for granted is totally valid. Football should be one of his priorities, but not at the complete expense of your relationship.

The fact that he canceled on you recently when he had free time to see a friend instead is not cool.

You're right that being in a relationship means compromising and making time for your girl, not just doing whatever he wants 100% of the time.

It is kind of worrisome that he used to be so loving and affectionate and now seems way more distant. Could be just stress from football/school getting to him. But he needs to communicate that instead of taking it out on you.

I'd try talking to him again and saying honestly that you don't feel cared for lately. If he can't listen and make changes, you should think about moving on before you waste more time on a guy who isn't committed.

You deserve a boyfriend who puts in real effort and makes you feel special. Hopefully he'll realize that. But don't settle for less than you need. Hang in there!

[SweetJoyGirl]

Dump him.