Be honest, do women like honest, genuine, thoughtful and mature men with calm nature or party-type guys that talk to several women and excite them?

[WhiteBoyChill]

I know this question seems like an obvious “yes” or whatever and probably 100% of the women here are going to say yes “so long as he’s not needy, or desperate or a pushover or a simp or whatever”

But the truth is I am exactly that guy and yet I’ve still had trouble dating

Now to be clear I don’t walk around with this crass sense of entitlement or whatever. And neither do I do “nice things” for women just because I’m trying to impress them or whatever.

I hold the door for people behind me IN LITERALLY EVERY situation. For friends, for random people, for women, for men, for old people, for disabled people.

And I don’t go around thinking any woman owes me anything either.

But the fact of the matter is, when I try talking to them, they don’t show interest.

It’s literally just “oh cool, you exist” and the conversation ends in like 5 seconds.

If I try to show interest in them, or ask them basic questions about themselves like what they study, or what their hobbies are, it’s literally often “why do you care”

So rude.

And no I don’t just approach “the prettiest women” either. I’ve approached LITERALLY EVERY KIND OF WOMAN. Including those I’m not attracted to.

To these women I get the impression that I’m just not an exciting or entertaining enough guy for them.

And I’m not ugly or anything either, I’m of probably average physical appearance.

Anyway, the truth is I haven’t really been trying all that much because I feel exhausted but I’m just stating plainly how things normally seem to go.

On average I’d approach maybe 2-3 girls a month in various situations.

But in University almost all the girls seemed obsessed with parties and alcohol for some reason.

And as much as people say “oh just like get involved with the church group and you’ll find a good woman there”

Well I did. And they were friendly to me.

But it was only a small pool of women to begin with, and given that good quality women tend to have bfs, I was kind of out of luck in that regard.

Updates

29 d

AND TO BE TOTALLY CLEAR to anyone reading this, I am not a guy that’s “just sexually frustrated and not getting laid”

Like yeah, the truth is I’m a virgin but that doesn’t mean I see it as an issue because the truth is, I’d prefer to wait and fight the right person, and then just have sex then.

[curiousgirl24]

This depends on the woman nature, some are not outgoing so they would surely prefer their type (quite) but for me being an outgoing person… i really preffer my guy playfull, outgoing and not shy with a lot of PDA’s … most of these guys are termed to be players and they really turn me on and excite me… though i clearly know this is not something i plan to walk into my future😅 i love him for current pleasure but for a future husband i want a very mature responsible man… i know there will come an age where i will outgrow the partying thing and thats when my future choice of my husbands comes in… as i am ready to settle

[idonotlikeyou]

That made me laugh. Party-type guys are crossed off the list from the start. I don't need a freeloader in a relationship. I definitely prefer an honest man who is self-aware, knows his weaknesses and strengths but not calm. Someone who has emotions and knows how to express them. Someone who can bite his tongue and not let emotions take over when he's frustrated or angry. A wise man, mature not just physically but emotionally as well. Someone who can recognize the situation he's in and behave appropriately. A man like that, who doesn’t exist.

[WhiteBoyChill]

I would say you are a statistical rarity of women

[idonotlikeyou]

@WhiteBoyChill
I am aware of my needs and the ways to satisfy them. I am aware of the processes occurring in our bodies and minds. I am aware of what I want in life. I didn't think that was so rare.

[CuriousHubby]

It's more your approach!

Also you forgot girls like a bad boy or one with mystery!

Probably appearing to safe a nice friend but you want more and they don't want to give you more.

Also women hate being approached in person. They want to be approached online or dms... Not awkwardly approached and having to deal with a guy good or bad.

Good luck be nice and sweet but not the simp or door mat! Don't be around for the girl you like. Be unavailable sometimes!

[WhiteBoyChill]

They hate being approached in person? Why?

I’m not an awkward guy either

[WhiteBoyChill]

Also I don’t see how being polite and friendly equates to being a simp or doormat

[CuriousHubby]

It's just the culture and that they get enough guy attention from looks cat calls awful guys approaching...

Now it's fine love online not someone special in person to meet!

Girls don't want polite as the main thing! Friendly yes and nice to talk with. They more want you fitting in with Thier friends but being a nice hot guy they can crush on. Till they find you on a dating site.

It's about girls perception when with friends. Watch some girl movies and you will get it. After guys go they gossip and talk about him with Thier friends in the worst light!

[WhiteBoyChill]

I’m not really a “hot guy” tho if I’m just of average appearancr

[CuriousHubby]

And probably not the best dressed or kept? Making her friends roast you over the coals. Making you seem awful to her.

So even if she did like you her friends don't and that makes her not like you. How could she date someone her friends hate?

Same thing happens with guy groups

Which is why online is often better her friends judge you after she gets a strong crush

[WhiteBoyChill]

Nah man, I always dress more nicely than the average man

[WhiteBoyChill]

It feels good and natural for me to wear nice things

[CuriousHubby]

Good but how nice? Does it match the place?
Are you in a suite and tie when it's a club and every one is half dressed?

[WhiteBoyChill]

Yes, exactly

[CuriousHubby]

Thanks for mho

[alice55]

It depend on the woman and it depend if yes or not she wish a state relationship right now, young women of this generation seem to want to sleep around and have fun compared to girls of my generation, many say it's because men cheat too much and are assholes so they do the same in return.

But yes stable women who wish real relationship like this kind of women but some women also prefer party guy it just depend on the girl and what she want.

Personally as soon as I see the guy is not to be trusted talk to many women, drink , etc... I ghost him. I don't want to put into my time and energy on someone who doesn't value me and for whom I'm just one of many.

[avery58]

The first option, I used to like bad boys when I was an immature teenager but now that I'm an adult they are far from my type. But it's true some women don't mature past the bad boy phase.

[WhiteBoyChill]

What is the appeal of the “bad boy” type? I’ve never understood it cuz to me they just seem really immature

[avery58]

I guess they see them as masculine, mysterious and it's a bit of a taboo that attracts them

Also, some of them like to think they can "fix him" and that doing so will make them feel more special than the other women who couldn't, and he'll love her more for making him mature. I was never part of the I can fix him crowd, but they do exist

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

The reason you can’t find a date is because your bitterness is radiating into your personality along with a clear sense of entitlement that you “should have had a girlfriend by now.” Maybe if you cared less about being nice and cared more about being kind, you’d see a difference.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Its obvious you didn’t read my full story

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Can’t help someone who doesn’t want it

[WhiteBoyChill]

How is asking people things about themselves being “unkind”

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You asked for an opinion and I gave it. You’re not “unkind” you’re nice. There’s a difference between nice and kind.

[WhiteBoyChill]

Fair enough, but I still didn’t consider it helpful in any way

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Agree to disagree

[Alwayreckles93]

Perhaps you should try a Christian dating app. I mean it takes time finding the correct woman. But alo remember you don't what just any woman. You want to make sure she is spirituality Christian devoted strong and ask questions what is her religion? What are her values and beliefs system. In dating its om to ask questions if the individual refuse to answer question on dates it's a red flag yousay thank you it was nice meeting you and move on don't waste your time.

[ariadneR]

Depends on your age or how mature you are.
My ex, in his late 30s early 40s, liked to go out to clubs and parties and drink, I didn't. I was past that stage in my life. I was comfortable being at home. He used to think I was a party pooper. It's not like I didn't allow him, it just didn't interest me

[Radiate143]

The honest ones tend not onow how to talk to women. The party boys know how to sweet talk. If honest guys weren't so terrified of talking to women and worried about how the bad boys get all the girls they would do better.

Baby boys just mask their insecurities better.

[FreyaRed]

Most people attract the feminine or masculine opposite of themselves. Just analyze yourself and try to approach a girl who are like you in your opinion and don't burn all bridges behind your back when she say no.

[Apple1996]

Most women won't say it but the douchebag type of guy is attractive

[WhiteBoyChill]

Why is that? To me as a guy, I just find those dudes super annoying

[Apple1996]

They are attention whores so naturally more girls are gonna see them over a calm guy. It's kind of like a girl wearing a sexy outfit catching a bunch of guys attention in comparison to a girl wearing sweats

[Jennz6]

So you are just looking 👀 for a girl to date?

[Jennz6]

@WhiteBoyChill💕
Yes, you sound interesting 💃