My boyfriend is the opposite of me. Is it bad?

[Anonymous]

He's really energetic, loves to dance, sing, is very outgoing and an extrovert. I am the opposite. I am usually calm, dislike dancing, prefer being home (but I like going out for dinner or a walk) and am generally an introvert. Is it a bad thing? Do you think this relationship may last?

Updates

1 y

Also he's very social, gets along with everyone but I have a small group of friends.

[BetaBucks]

That's the same dynamic for my marriage and we work it out just fine. I have to minimize the amount of times I invite her places, because she'll feel obligated to go, but will be stressed about it and not typically enjoy it. And when she does go somewhere with me, I have to make sure she's attended to, by either sitting her with someone she gets along with, or staying with her the entire time. You might just need to communicate this same type of need with him. And just set some boundaries like "I'll go to the dance event, but please don't expect me to dance" type of stuff.

I truly think that opposites attract, and it makes for a great relationship balance. You'll make him more at peace at home, and he'll make you more comfortable outside the home. Plus a million other ways that people balance each other out. Yin/yang kind of thing.

[Asker]

Thanks, I feel a bit relieved haha

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What BetaBucks said.
It's not a bad thing, it is rather a neutral thing. Plus, I think relationships are meant to be lived, for the most part, not thought about. I believe your question about how long it will last, is a non-question, because you cannot predict the future, but you can live the present :)

[Asker]

Yes thank you, I meant to ask if our difference would impact our relationship in a negative way and break us up but yea I guess there's a way to work it out

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

You are welcome, I understand you want to optimize the outcomes, minimize negatives and the likes, this is rational thinking. But I believe this rationality has little to do with relationships, I'd say what matters is what you feel, not what you think

[CuriousHubby]

Not really till latter he will start annoying you with how different he is! This is good for dating but a year or two in you both will be feeling the difference

[Asker]

So would this difference annoy both of us? I mean, I can adapt but I really don't like dancing or singing around a bunch of people, I feel uncomfortable. Is there a way to work things out and make it last

[CuriousHubby]

There is you learn to be in extroverted cause he won't be introverted!

[Asker]

I can't pretend to be extroverted all the time, he'll need to adapt as well

[CuriousHubby]

He won't! Extroverts don't do well mentally being trapped!
Look at all the divorces that happened over COVID! That was extroverts married to introverts.

The extroverts needed freedom and others!

[Asker]

Everyone needs freedom. I like going out, just not going to places full of people. I don't have to be with him all the time when he's out anyway

[CuriousHubby]

Then soon you will start worrying he is cheating and if you don't go out often he probably will with another extrovert girl who gets him

[Asker]

His loss bro cheating isn't an extrovert feature I've cheated on my partners before what an irrelevant and dvmb answer

[BadApple69]

If he was like you…. You’d get bored. You need to strive to be more like him.

[Anonymous]

You will clash eventually.