I need to contain myself?

[Anonymous]

Hello, I am starting to see my FAVORITE ex again.(Im 28 he's 30 and we dated 4 years ago) We didn't end on bad terms the first time around. But we both kind of never got over each other and have stayed in contact (and sometimes hooked up 😬) over this span of years. We initially broke up because he was a little too fresh out of a previous relationship and felt like he rushed himself. But he hasn't really dated anyone since. I have, but none of them were like him to me you know?
He really is the only person I've dated that I've had such deep feelings for. And I'm fairly confident it's mutual.
He actually reached out to me about 10 months ago (while I was seeing someone) and said he was thinking about me, wanted to take me on a real date, etc. But I said no I couldn't. That relationship ended up not working, so I asked if his offer still stood.
And now we've been out 3 times.
The first 2 times we very genuinely just hung out and had fun. We ended up cuddling the second time but not even a kiss on the lips. Which is definitely slowing down the pace. This third time though, it heated up fast. He came over and I made us dinner before we went to go see a movie. And before we ended up leaving, he just went for it and kissed me. So we ended up doing a bit of that before we left.
But then we came back after and ended up hooking up. Which I sort of initiated. And it may have been rushed but it was so good. We have some CHEMISTRY. And it had been so long.
He ended up sleeping over, and we did a lot more cuddling. Then this morning we took a shower together. Which is something we would often do. And it's always very intimate. We kiss a little and wash each other down. And it's just nice to be touched like that. So intimate and yet not sexual.
Then after that he had to leave, and kissed me goodbye.

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Updates

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It makes me ill how into him I am. Even after all this time I feel so much love for this man. We've had a complicated, but never unkind history and I hope so badly it works out this time. Now that we're a little older.
I have such a hard time feeling deeply in relationships but this man I swear has eyes that just sparkle.
I hope it has all been for something.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Containing yourself all depends and is all up to you, personally I've never been the one to look back and I believe if something ended once, it's only gonna be complicated to keep giving it chances but I mean it depends, if you think y'all can be better than before then i wish you the best with it, but there has to be communication and the effort has to be from both sides, y'all both have to put the effort to push for something better and not let the same things separate you both again, cause its highly likely that the same things are gonna hapoen but if y'all want it to work then y'all gotta avoid those issues and overcome if they end up showing up again.

[BetaBucks]

You should google the term "alpha widow."