Can you fall in love with someone over long distance?

Question

Having texting daily and having frequent video calls.  I think I am catching feelings and have lost the interest in everyone else but him.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

First, ask yourself what good does it do you to fall in love with someone who you can't spend time with? The whole point of a relationship is to spend time together and share your life with each other.

Second, keep in mind that you only know what he tells you, and even if he's not intentionally keeping secrets, he's not going to tell you about his bad habits or his bad attitude or whatever, and because you are not spending time with him, you think everything is great. It's foolish to let yourself develop feelings without being able to vet his behavior, and he needs to be around a lot to do that.

The bottom line is that you are setting yourself up for some major disappointment, but the worst thing is that you will be wasting precious time that you could be spending looking for a LOCAL man to be with - someone you could actually share your life with.

Long distance relationships are full of problems, maybe the worst one being that they are largely "virtual" and not REAL.

How many people do you know who met someone long distance and it all worked out for them? Exactly.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

Yes! When  falling in love is acknowledging a feeling emerging inside me , then yes, four times in my life. Addressing some answers that are missing the point of the question you asked, Falling in love has  nothing to do with "relationship sustainability"  or any other " I choose what I feel because I'm a robot " nonsense, are people alive, or are they computers calculating odds? LOL at some members' answers here! 😆

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Absolutely! My fiancé and I are a long distance couple. Half of my friend group and their spouses were long distance couples.
There are 2 things everyone should know before dating long distance:

1. You need to, at some point, meet in person. Sooner rather than later. You don’t really know who a person is until you’ve interacted face to face.

2. The key to a long distance relationship working out is for the distance to eventually be closed. Someone needs to be willing to move.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

It's a mistake to think that you'll be able to sustain an actual relationship LDR. The problem is that you idealize the person and he/she becomes part of the fantasy realm for you... meanwhile you don't really know them well enough to claim a relationship.

Account · Answer

If you want to fall in love with the idea of them instead of them, sure go for it. Sometimes people have the habit to fill in the blanks with the ideas they form in their heads.
Is it based on truth? No.
Is the feeling true regardless? Yes, but it ain't based on actuality.

ohsheeT · Answer

Yes you can.
And it's because you actually get to know the person from the inside first...

And when that happens the bond becomes spiritual energy you can feel it from whatever distance far away you are you can feel it as if they're standing right next to you and that becomes a very beautiful thing and more powerful than a physical relationship at times.

AviatorTom · Answer

You can start falling in love LDR, but that's like puppy love. You need to have personal contact to really fall in love.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I don't think you really know a person until you spend time together, so if you fall in love with someone you don't know very well, perhaps you are actually in love with an image of that person that you have created in your mind.

mstbooblover · Answer

Falling in love is a mysterious phenomenon, and for sure this can happen in nearly any circumstance, and thus, why not over a long distance. Whether this kind of love has a future on the practical side is another question, because odds are very high nothing but talk and frustration will result ultimately.

Now, considering the absence of physical contact, and thus of pheromones, I tend to believe the love you're describing only happens in the form created by imagination, the latter's power not to be underestimated.

RyanR03 · Answer

Um I doubt it. They can meet several times and it can begin yes. Most likely list at first sight. But “in love” with another and believe y'all will be with each other through better or first worse, through thick and thin. Not run when it gets hard, which it will. Sickness and in health, to death do you part…

I am not sure. You can fall into that feeling that people call love. Maddness. Constantly thinking of someone. Texting texting. Sex sex. But I hope y'all see each other enough over time. Because once y'all get in the same house , and all the frenzy of the constant excited amorous feelings start to find an every day normal , survivable rhythm … that’s when you find out if it’s love

thegreenyogi · Answer

It depends i think on your expectations and how you build the relationship over time. My best policy would be to treat it always as a friendship because that's how you up your chances of building a solid relationship over time that could possibly turn to love too.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I did. Met my boyfriend on Twitter became good friends and then a relationship formed. We met in person 7 months later and we have been together almost 3 years. Living together now have a 3 month old and plan on eventually getting married.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

I had long term LDR, but meeting frequently was a factor. I suggest meeting first, then decide from there.. before taking it too seriously. Also consider the other person's job/time difference.

BadApple69 · Answer

Yes it can happen but it won’t be real till the two of you spend time together. Right now you are falling for words and promises. Until he can prove that those were not empty words or promises…. It’s kind of a false love.
I will say this that from my experience LDRs don’t work. Everyone needs that physical touch, the holding of a hand, a kiss, even sex…. without it we feel empty inside.

Daniela1982 · Answer

No, this guy could be playing you, and you have no idea what his relationship status is, because you are not there to see the red flags that someone can hide when they are not always available. Has he hit you up for money yet, so he can come and visit you? Stick to people in your own stomping grounds.  BEING PLAYED

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I think you can... Why wouldn't you be able to? Especially if the energy of the relationship is good.

It would be important to set a time limit for the long distance, and have good communication, but I don't see any reason you couldn't fall in love with someone long distance.

RingOfFire · Answer

It's not love, it's being in love with the fantasy of love. I don't believe it is possible to love someone that you have not spent time with in person. There are too many things that cannot be understood about a person just from words and pictures.

Anonymous · Answer

No not me.

I have to meet their 3D body in person first to determine their health and fitness. And of course, their genetics. 🧬

I’m the female so I’ll be the one burdened with pregnancy and child birth. I need to be sure of my lovers genetic package

red324 · Answer

You know I met a few girls online where she wanted to talk for like a month before meeting. This is a mistake in my opinion. I guess we clicked in our text messages, but then they high tailed it out of there once we finally met in person. Maybe we should have done video chats. I think I did with a couple girls. I don't know. Personally, now if they don't want to meet in a week or two I won't waste my time with her anymore.

sawno · Answer

100% deepest bond I ever developed was long distance, discovered some cool things about the universe works along the way due to discovering things I thought was impossible. Had it been short distance I would never have found out.

Grond21 · Answer

Yes. My girlfriend and I have been long distance the whole time, and we are in love

Makeushiver · Answer

It's probably easier to fall in love with someone at a distance. S/he is easier to idealize when you aren't together all of the time. Porn is something like falling in lust with someone who is airbrushed, capped teeth, tanned perfectly etc.

SweetJoyGirl · Answer

Personally, I can’t. I definitely can like someone LDR. I do need to spend sometime with them in person to say if I can fall in love with them or not. lol

DizzyDesii · Answer

Its not hard to, thats for sure. But i won’t make anything official until the in person dates have began and ended well

love_conquers_lust · Answer

You’ve been on this site long enough to know where this goes. Meet in person quickly or else you guys will inevitably get mad at each other and go your separate ways. You can’t fuck a pen pal.

avery58 · Answer

Yeah, I did. Even though I've met plenty of guys in my own city

lightbulb27 · Answer

I'd say not only yes, but moreso... fantasy is strong.

Juxtapose · Answer

Absolutely you can and people who say otherwise don't really know how to work a long distance relationship. Traveling isn't hard, I just came back from multiple international flights.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

You can have the desire to be with them or lust for them, but I honestly don’t believe it’s genuine love being developed there

In_Trance · Answer

If you've never actually met in person you're living in a fairy tale

KostasKouvalis · Answer

I have. Even without videocalls or the everyday texts

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Me personally know, I definitely need the physical connection, but I know many men that have.

worldscolide · Answer

Short answer, no. Not without some in person interaction.

Massageman · Answer

My brother-in-law did, but I don't think that's the best way to do things.

alicexcmn00 · Answer

I feel like you can, but if you ever DO meet, things can go horribly wrong if you had "idealized" a completely different version of this person.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it’s easy to fall in love with the idea of someone rather than them as a person. You have to get to know them and their habits good and bad before making such a decision

LiamJHayden · Answer

I can be attracted to someone that way, but love? Not for me.

Dnice1 · Answer

I have but it didn't work out. LDRs are quite challenging.

_lexiesplanet_ · Answer

yes you can by the emotional connection you can make together

JesseP1nk · Answer

No you can't. You have drawn an illusion of that person. Not the reality

DJB72 · Answer

Yup. But guard your heart until you've met up.

JSkye · Answer

Yes, you absolutely can!

luvstoned4him · Answer

It's happened more than once so I would say YES

rosemilk · Answer

personally, i can't.

NathanDavis · Answer

all my relationships have been in person

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yes. You definitely can.

exitseven · Answer

I really think that you can.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Yes. Been there, done that, at least twice.

_Senorita_ · Answer

I don't know 😅 you must be knowing that yourself

andreasderjuengere · Answer

You mean... a pen pal only? No way

paledreams · Answer

I think such folks must be desperate 😂

LaurenM1997 · Answer

No I can’t it’s just not suitable for me

AmeerX · Answer

Yes, I have and it doesn't work

Starrrboy · Answer

I think it's possible.

dudeinohio · Answer

I don't think so. I need physical presence.

Staximus · Answer

If you're a fool

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

If she had big spuds, H**L YEAH !!!

Guanfei · Answer

Yep, you can. I did. It's a stupid idea.

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

Yes in deed, you can.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Infatuation. Not love I don't think.

legalboxers · Answer

my ex was from denmark

Anonymous · Answer

No. I need physical engagement.

Cheerfull009 · Answer

I made mistake, so still regretting

MisterWack · Answer

Yes!

Can you fall in love with someone over long distance?

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Can you fall in love with someone over long distance?

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