Guys have you fallen in love with someone you didn’t think was possible to love at first?

[Anonymous]

First of all, I’m a dude I don’t know why my account reads female.

I had been seeing this girl for a few months and I’m not sure we are compatible in the long run because of the difference in our culture and race. (She’s south Asian and I’m Caucasian). I have felt attracted to her occasionally and she usually never says no to hanging out but she refuses to have sex causally. But she does these cute stuff that I think are making me feel certain feelings. It’s not love. I walked into her apartment a few days ago (she’s okay with it) and she was in the shower and I heard her hmming a song and it felt so innocent. She never says no to spending time with me and even planned a beach picnic for us after I asked her if she’d wanna stay indoors and watch something on the tv. That’s generally what we do, I don’t even take her out on dates or spend money on her. But she giggles and tickles me whenever we are hanging out and I think I have a great time in those moments. I still think I don’t want a relationship with her but every two three weeks I want to see her even thought she refuses to have sex. At this point I don’t know if I’m playing myself or her. She doesn’t ask me for anything. She sometimes falls asleep in my arms while we are watching tv and I don’t feel like waking her up but I am alien to these weird feelings. I’m pretty certain that I’m not catching feelings cause if I was, I’d wanna see her more often. Can any of the boys relate? Should I cut this off? And what do I do if I get bored and wanna spend time with her?

[teamvic]

Well firstly

Besides the ethnicity thing. What are some reasons you don't want to be with her?

Also I could tell you to cut her off. I'm not suggesting it right now. But I am saying even if I did. You probably wouldn't be able to. Not just flat out

[Asker]

I think the cultural reasons. I’m also very fall and look good, I want to believe that I can find someone equally attractive. She okay but not the most attractive girl out there

[teamvic]

Ahh I see

Hmmm well to answer your question, yes I have fallen for girls that I could definitely do better than. But I quickly got over them

But I will say I didn't have the time spent as you do with your friend.

As far as what you should do, well firstly if you don't want to be with her, you should know that what you're doing with her may be letting her on. Because if you might feel the way you do about her at times, have you considered how it's making her feel?

But at the same time, if you do stop doing all the stuff you guys were doing she might assume she did something wrong

This is all under the assumption that she has feelings

If not then you're good but it is a possibility
But you may be in very fragile territory if she got feelings
Assuming you care about her

You dont have to stop being friends with her but you may have to stop doing the things that's making you catch feelings.

And then there's the other part. You're gonna have to find someone. But that may be easier said than done

[teamvic]

If you know you guys won't work out deep down. The longer you wait. The more time you waste

Because if you wait more, and then somehow end up together, that beginning of you guys both being happy will end quite quick. And then you're in a relationship you don't even want to be in

That's assuming you don't actually fall for you completely of course