Why is he rushing?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy and things were going great and I met plans to meet him around Labor Day until my aunt took sick and is now in the ICU before that I lost another great aunt 3 weeks ago and my sister was hospitalized around that same time. Of course , the plans for Labor Day were cancelled due to this... so he tells me he couldn't sit at home on the holidays and is going to Mississippi to intrude on his family's 48th anniversary. He tells me they're doing their own thing and I told him I'll be recharging and resting from all these events with my family because it's taken a toll on me with the sickness , death, and illnesses... he still wants to communicate while he's out of town and I'm using this time to rest up and recharge as he'll be back Monday afternoon and they're leaving today.. he doesn't understand that I want to meet him and had no ideal all this was going to happen to my family, but he seemed disappointed that we are not meeting this weekend and I'm not going to Mississippi with him. He keeps having these expectations about us when he doesn't realize what turmoil is and how this has affected me with my family... he thought I was going to meet his family this weekend and I told him I wouldn't meet your parents like that while enjoying their 48th anniversary because I haven't met you yet. The crazy thing is I thought we were friends and as of yesterday we've been talking for 1 month... he's making it seem like we've been talking for 3 -4 months and haven't met. I normally start off as friends and let things build naturally.. the other thing is we live an hour away. I did give him the option that if he wanted to immediately get in a relationship and go on dates with women I may not have been the best candidate with everything going on with my family.

Updates

1 y

I need advice.. this with me and this guy would be a long distance relationship and why is he so disappointed? Why is he rushing for us to meet? I've been making time video chatting and talking to him within this month with everything going on. Does it sound like he's lonely? He's a great guy - just not understanding that I'm grieving and dealing with so much with my family and how they're health has taken a burden on me.

[jennifer_bloom]

I learned this through friends from school. Use general terms when you do not want to disclose facts.

You could say you have "an extended family emergency," or "are aiding a close friend in managing a crises situation," or you have "needy companions with urgent medical needs."

I remember a guy questioned me on why I was at school when I did not have class that day and I was going to go into this long winded response to his question and he told me, "just say, 'I'm taking care of business."

[Asker]

Whether I'm taking care of business or family emergency this guy is rushing to meet and have these expectations.. it's almost like he's disappointed in me what's happening to my family

[quickquesocheese]

Great guy or not, would you rather not dare someone who understands your grieving and how things have taken a burden on your family? I related to this a lot because i have been in a quite familiar situation. And om going to be honest with you, whether you end things now or not, this is not going to last. Please be gentle with your love and being.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he's interested in meeting you it just seems to be taking a lot longer than he expects. But with all your stuff going on in your family he needs to understand that he has to let you do what you need to do. If he definitely wants a relationship with you he will wait until you get in the right frame of mind to make the connection with him

[Asker]

Agreed we don't know about my aunt and the doctors will take he off the vent today or tomorrow... there's no change and we may be planning for a funeral soon if things don't improve

[Opinion Owner]

Sorry to hear that. But if you really wants to be with you he will understand to give you your space

[Opinion Owner]

Also people don't realize life is a gift and the same thing with a relationship but the relationship has to build up to a healthy point before anything else if he is too pushy you need to step away

[Asker]

Yes and everyday we've been talking even when I need some self care if he's there. I'm already mentally exhausted from the last funeral and sickness with my sister in the middle of the month... now this

[Asker]

I wish he went to Mississippi with his parents so I can use some self care. He canceled due to rain... I told him yesterday I would be self caring for the next few days until next Tuesday when my kids go back to homeschool

[Asker]

I need space to breathe

[ProbablyClueless]

The longer it takes, the less likely it is for him to seal the deal.

[scott04sa22]

He wants sex with you

[Asker]

No he's ok with that

[Asker]

Us not having sex