Why is he desperate?

Question

He always wants to do something with me. I mean it’s nice and everything and I know he wouldn’t hurt me but I feel like he comes off tooooooooo desperate. Like this past weekend, I didn’t really want to do anything with anyone, but every day he asked if we could do something. I told him I’m going to visit a friend and he must’ve forgot because he asked again for this weekend. I like him but not sexually attracted to him in anyway. But why do some guys come off desperate like this?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You need to end this relationship with him.

To start with, you need to realize that you cannot be "just friends" with a man who is straight and single - they simply aren't capable of being "just friends" with any reasonably attractive women (with very rare exceptions). As such, you should simply NOT expect to ever be "just friends" with a single man. Perhaps you can be "just friends" with a guy who is already in a happy, healthy relationship, but realistically she probably wouldn't like it. But a single man? Forget it.

Pretend you woke up tomorrow morning, and as you were breaking out of the haze of sleep, you realized you had 3 problems:

you didn't see your left shoe on the floor, just the right shoe, of the pair you were wearing yesterday
your forgot to feed the cat last night
your house is on fire and smoke is starting to fill your bedroom

Even though you have at least 3 problems - and likely a few more - to deal with, I would imagine you would immediately prioritize the fact that your house was on fire and that if you didn't get outside very quickly, you were going to burn alive. Am I right?

Well, here's something you need to understand about most guys: when they wake up on the morning, they may have a list of important (and maybe not so important) things to do, but their top priority is ALWAYS going to be GETTING LAID, because if a man isn't getting sex, it's almost impossible for him to be happy. It doesn't matter what his other priorities are, getting sex is always going to be at the top of the list. If you don't understand this one thing about men, then you know nothing about them.

Clearly this guy is sexually attracted to you. He may well be romantically attracted to you as well, but one thing he absolutely has NO interest in being is "just a friend." He may pretend otherwise, but he'll do so only so that he can bide his time and wait for an opening. That may never come, but the hope of that is the only reason he's sticking around. This is just how men work, and you must not be naïve about that. You can have a boyfriend/husband, or you can have a male acquaintance that you see once in a while, but you cannot have "just a friend" who you spend time with together alone on any kind of a regular basis - most men simply aren't capable of that.

236color · Accepted Answer

It's really hard for guys to make a romantic/sexual connection. Many of them ARE desperate. They also don't understand that in a woman's mind, there is no path from friend to lover.