When is the right time to ask for intentions?

[Anonymous]

I've started dating someone recently, but we don't live in the same country. We have spend the night together, but our communication is mostly done over the phone because of the distance.
Right now I am unsure whether he wants to continue dating me or just keep contact platonically, even though he has expressed wanting me to come visit him again.
I want to ask him about his intentions and see if we're on the same page - but I wonder if one date is too early for that.
What do you think?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's kinda tricky since you guys don't live close and can't go on actual dates regularly. I think after spending the night together already, it's definitely not too soon to ask! You don't want to waste your time if you're looking for something serious and he just wants to keep it casual. I'd say bring it up casually like "Hey I'm really enjoying getting to know you better. What are you looking for with this long distance thing going forward?" Give him a chance to be honest without putting him on the spot. His reaction will tell you a lot too - does he seem uncomfortable talking about feelings or is he open about it? As long as you ask respectfully and make it clear you just want the same expectations, I don't think it's too soon at all. Better to know now if you're both wanting the same type of relationship rather than spending more time talking and getting more feelings involved if you're not on the same page. Trust your gut too - if deep down it doesn't feel right, listen to that. Good luck!

[slatyb]

It's never too early to ask. This will save you both time. Too often I have heard of women who stay with a man year after year waiting for a proposal that is never coming. They never asked whether he wanted to be married at all, they just assumed he wanted what they want. Don't do that.